(and including a brief commentary would be the polite thing to do)
Change the oil in my car. Haven’t done it in three decades or so. Simply not worth the bother when I can get it done in ten minutes for a double sawbuck. Plus, you have a good chance of getting greasy. Ew.
Undertake a major home renovation myself. I did my basement and my kitchen, that’s enough for one lifetime. Getting too old to swing a sledge or lay a floor. Bathroom needs doin’, but I’ll hire that one out.
Get up on a roof. I was never crazy about doing it when I was younger, have even less desire to climb up there now. The last thing I need is two broken legs.
Ice skate/rollerblade. Never was that good. Now I’ll never improve.
A related one - I will never again shake a bottle of Liquid Paper without making sure the top is on firmly. That shit just doesn’t come out of dress clothes.
I will also never eat undercooked hamburger again.
There is a hell of a lot of things I will never do again, where do I start?
Well here are a few that I can think of:
[ul]
[li]Have sex.[/li][li]Kiss or hug another person.[/li][li]Have a kitten/cat. :([/li][li]Own a TV.[/li][/ul]
Take Amtrak from Florida to NYC. The worst food I’ve ever eaten, nasty people, uncomfortable seats. We did it once because we couldn’t get plane tickets after a cruise out of Miami.
Buy a laptop from Toshiba. Cheap, plastic junk that fell apart within five months of buying it.
Adopt an unfriendly kitty from a shelter. If the cat’s not friendly at the shelter, the cat’s not going to be any friendlier five years later no matter how many kitty treats you tempt her with.
*Go camping. Cornerstone Festival is history. No reason to camp anymore as when I’m on vacation I like a nice hotel.
*Go canoeing. Body can’t handle it.
*Drive a manual transmission car. My first car was a manual. I thought I had gone to heaven when I got my first automatic.
Never travel again in a country where flush toilets are not the norm. I’ve been adventurous; you young folks can pee over the edge of a cliff. I’m done.
Drive a sports car that’s got automatic transmission. Not because I’m too old, but really, automatic? In a sports car!
Parachute out of an airplane again.
Be a bridesmaid again! Woohoo!
And what’s all the hatin’ about skating? I ice skate several hours a week. It’s great for balance, reflexes, and cardio. And I’m in my 60s
I will never again:
[ul]
[li]Shoplift.[/li][li]Slide down the handrail of an escalator.[/li][li]Go on a date.[/li][li]Smoke cigarettes (or use any other nicotine vehicle).[/li][li]Get ECT.[/li][li]Lick a parking meter in the winter.[/li][/ul]