3 Things You'll Never Do

In My Humble Opinion
1

I tell my friends that there are three things in life that I’m sure I’ll never do, under any circumstances. They are:

  1. Smoke crack. Ew. It’s such a ghetto drug- I’m too good for crack.

  2. Have anal sex. Don’t try to change my mind, I ain’t gonna do it. Ever.

  3. Have an affair with a married man. Never, no how, no way.
    What 3 things will you never do?

2

  1. Never stop Doping here. Its as good as crack.

  2. Never take ‘no’ for an answer if a girl refuses anal sex. :wink:

  3. Never start the morning without coffee.

3

  1. Heroin or Crack. No way, no how. Ever.

  2. Speak to my first girlfriend. I tried to break it off amicably after two months and she went around spreading rumours and being a bitch and trying to make my life a living hell. Going after me was one thing, getting my younger sister involved was crossing the line. This was Grade 8. It was so nasty, I hadn’t had a real relationship until my current girlfriend…8 years later. Thanks for screwing me up so badly.

  3. Pay money for the rag of a newspaper that is the Toronto Sun or the National Post.

4

  1. Illegal drugs

  2. Sex with a man

  3. Date a supermodel :frowning:

5

Y’all suck. In my opinion if it wasn’t for all the crack, anal sex and reading of the Toronto Sun, my life wouldn’t be worth living.

6
  1. Willingly parachute out of a plane
  2. Hard drugs of any kind (I am not ruling out anything… herbal)
  3. Enjoy an Eric Clapton tune
7
  1. Abandon my kid, or abuse and/or neglect him in any way. I think that’s a pretty safe bet.

I guess I’d have to think about the other two. I can think of a bajillion things I’ll very likely never do, but they’re all ridiculously outrageous (have sex with an emu while wearing a full football uniform and playing the Chinese national anthem with armpit farts, etc.) and would never really happen anyway. :slight_smile:

I’m not sure what this says about me, (probably not anything real positive, but whatever) but I’ve done most of the stuff already mentioned here. It’s stuff I’ll very likely never do again though. And there are so many more things that I haven’t done that I’d really like to do, so I just have a hard time ruling very much out right now. I’m a “never say never” type person, wrt to potentially real life situations, unlike my emu scenario up there.

Oh, I got one…

  1. I will most likely never, ever try water skiing ever again. Or any skiing, for that matter.
8

:dubious:

  1. Jump out of an airplane.
  2. Participate in ritual scarification.
  3. Willingly touch/interact with insects or spiders (like tarantulas).
9

[ol][li]Willingly watch a Will Ferrell movie.[/li][li]Eat authentic East Asian food without first asking what’s in it.[/li]Engage in sexual activities involving blood, feces, urine, vomit, or any other unusual bodily fluid.[/ol]

10
  1. Stop looking at women
  2. Enjoy Chinese New Year
  3. Be mistaken for a left-winger
11

Trouble with youngsters today - so bloody unadventurous.

12
  1. Set myself on fire.
  2. Become a mad scientist.
  3. Perform animal sacrifices in my living room.
13

No illicit drugs, with the possible exception of herbal ones (for medicinal reasons only, and yes, I mean medicinal).

Anal sex is a no-go for me.

The sex with a married man thing–another no-go. Also, sex with a woman (I’m a woman). No. Too many breasts involved. Mine are quite enough, thank you!

Okay, that’s 4 things. Sorry.

14

1 – commit ritual suicide
2 – get married
3 – go to the bottom of the marianas trench for twenty minutes

15

Bob Loblaw, I love your name. Makes me laugh to try to pronounce it. But don’t worry. I’m laughing with you, not at you. :slight_smile:

OK, my three are:

  1. Never risk my sanity and health for a chemical high.

  2. Not do the crime if I can’t do the time. I hate crowds. Especially crowds of people I’m locked up with.

  3. Willingly buy and play Rap.

16

3 things I’ll never do:

Willingly put my penis in a meat grinder.

Rape

Feltch myself

17

  1. Put a penis in my vagina.

  2. Let someone lick my vagina.

  3. Play with my vagina.

I don’t know why I don’t just hang myself right now… with a rope made out of crack.

18

  1. say never

  2. say die

  3. surrender

19

I will never:

  1. Go roller skating, ice skating, rollerblading. Or wear high heels. I like my feet planted firmly on the ground.
  2. Fire a gun again.
  3. Travel to a country that the US requires immunizations prior to departure.

Yeah, I’m pretty much a pussy.

20

  1. Anything that could land me in jail, because I’d also get deported and lose everythng, including my wife.

  2. Take any kind of drugs to which I could become addicted (excluding caffeine and nicotine).

  3. Have sex with another man.