Are we allowed to list things we’ve never even done once, that we’ll never do again?
One of my lifelong goals is to never visit New York. So far, I’m on track . . .
That’s one of the stranger simulposts I’ve seen. Your legs hurt for two days? I could barely walk for a week-and-a-half. It is possible to hike down and not back up, though. The outfitters that run rafting trips break the canyon into segments; you can do the whole canyon, or hike to Phantom Ranch and raft from there to Lake Mead.
A few things I’ll never do again:
– Taste gasoline. (See my experience here.)
– Go downhill skiing. I tried it once, and it was fun, but not fun enough to convince me to go back. I much prefer ice skating in the winter.
– Go camping. I didn’t like it. I’ll stick with hotels, thanks.
I must admit, I am rather curious about the story behind this one.
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I, too. We have to warn the PiperCub not to lick playground equipment in the winter - why on earth would you lick a parking meter?
Never again?
Downhill skiing. Fun in my teens and early 20’s, but now that I’m in my 40’s, my knees (and various other joints) are getting crunchy.
Replace a car’s exhaust system. I did this a couple of times on my first car when I was a poor college student. My dad is the ultimate handy man, so he always did this, saving a bundle in the process. I found it to be a miserable job, dealing with rusty, seized-up bolts and trying to wiggle exhaust components in/out of very snug places. I finally said “never again” when I fleck of metal embedded in my cornea scratched the everloving fuck out of my eyelid, requiring a trip to the ER to get it out. Happily, my last car never required exhaust replacement in ten years of ownership, partly because I bought it new (although I did have a shop repair it a couple of times with some quick welds). If my current car (just bought this spring) ever needs an exhaust, I’m paying to have it done.
I used to like camping, but in my mid-30’s my metabolism changed somehow and now I drink tons of water and pee a lot, which makes camping a hassle; it’s a pain in the ass getting up 2-3 times a night, wriggling out of a sleeping bag, putting on pants/shoes/coat and trudging 50-100 yards to the nearest bathroom.
There are probably others; will have to think some.
Well if you’re like me (at 7 years-old) you lick the hockey net frame because someone said you’d stick to it, and I wanted to see if it was true.
It was . . .
Slapstick comedy.
I will never again shake a bottle of salad dressing to mix it, unless I am absolutely sure the cap is on really tight.
I think Mrs. J. has forgiven me for the gouts of garlic dressing that sprayed all over the kitchen last night (including onto her cashmere sweater).
I think.
C’mon, I was six! You know how six-year-olds are. I was waiting for my dad to pick me up from piano lessons, leaning against a parking meter, and I just stuck out my tongue and licked it. Maybe it had some frost on it that was tempting; I don’t quite recall. Fortunately, my dad showed up after a few minutes and taught me how to escape intact.
I remember seeing kids stuck to all kinds of things, then ripping themselves away and running home, blood streaming from their mouths. Ah, winter in Minnesota…
- Watch a “Fast and Furious” movie
-eat surstromming (rotten herring) - stay up for New years Eve
-visit “Santa” at a local mall (too big to sit in lap)
-swim at Orchard beach, Maine
Well I’ll never say “never” but I HOPE to never:
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Work in a job where I have to deal with the general public.
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Have a wedding. Even if God Forbid something happened to my marriage, I simply couldn’t top our awesome wedding day in Las Vegas.
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Go back to school as an adult. Been there, done that.
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Watch “The Star Wars Holiday Special.”
Every time I run a marathon I say I’m never doing that shit again…but then another marathon comes along.
Free advice: hold your thumb over the cap of any bottle you shake. Every time. Make it an unconscious habit. Like you, I speak from bitter experience.
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Stay in cheap hotels
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Buy non-refundable tickets (too many times we’ve had plans change at the last minute and lost out.)
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Take a job that requires a lot of travel
Camping. Why would I go on vacation to live a lesser existence?
Swim in a man made lake occupied by gators and other lizard like creatures. Cool rope swing though.
Enlist. If I had it to do again, I would in a second, but once was enough.
Get married. I’m in the second one. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll give up.
Have an affair. I should have just left.
Buy a fixer-upper. Turns out I don’t want to work construction after working my day job all week.
Vote for Ross Perot. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Vote Republican. Too much acting like petulant children.
Cook lamb. We just don’t like it.
Move faster than a walk.
I’m afraid to post anything here because as soon as I do…
Wear a suit and/or tie.
-Directly or even indirectly respond to a Fatheringay-Phips post. He’s the only poster on my ignore list.
-Drink my own pee (why I ever did it in the first place I’ll never know)
-Teach (sadly)
-live in Oregon again
-put “Hi Opal!” as the 3rd item in a list 
–buy a house. I love our current home and if I ever leave it will be because I’m too old and disabled to live on my own.
–look for a job. I’ve got one that should last long enough.
–hitch hike. Don’t expect I’ll need to do that again. Plus, I’ve got Uber.
–Attend an opera. Did it twice. Won’t ever do that again. I’m sure other people enjoy it. I’m not one of them.
–change a diaper. Are grandfathers expected to change diapers? I might have to reconsider this one.