In 2011:
Incest and cocaine will be decriminalized, but only when indulged in simultaneously and in public.
The incidence of suicide by blunt instrument in the industrialized countries will decline by 23%.
By mid-year, there will emerge a general consensus among scientists and media pundits alike that things in general are getting “slinkier.”
The Antichrist will come, and gather an army of followers. It won’t be much like Left Behind, more like Omen III: The Final Conflict. (Differing from both in that the Lord of Darkness will be Swedish.) However, the Great Beast Who Is Called Dragon will be forced out of leadership by a group of idealist zealots who accuse him of compromising, waffling, and betraying the true Satanic principles of the Movement. The Prince of This World’s catty tell-all book will be remaindered, and he will end up selling timeshares in Reno (with unaccountably poor success, in view of his presumable talents). The Antichristian Church, meanwhile, will fail to reach consensus on a new leadership, and schism into three hostile sects. One of these will go underground and become what would be classified as a terrorist cult, if that name could be applied to people who spend most of their time wandering around shopping-mall parking lots and letting air out of tires.