Wow, iamthewalrus, your sacrifice is more than admirable. Science will thank you.
Now, if only I could pay a whole lot of guys to do that, and take demographics, collect the data (not, uh, literally…), run a few statistics. I’d be rich, I tell you! Rich with pure, sweet knowledge!
That would seem to be the case in my experience. I certainly wasn’t “rotating the stock” in the first three months after I split up with the missus. In fact, I only knew things were getting better after waking up a couple days in a row flying the Jolly Roger.
No dice last night. I had a dream about fighting crime while using an ATB battle system*, but no hotties from my past.
iamthewalrus, Og speed.
*Geek talk. Don’t mind it.
Well, you could start by paying me if you wanted.
I get them occasionally, although, like matt said, frequent masturbation and/or sex with a partner will virtually eliminate them altogether.
The funny thing is that, when i have one, i usually wake up right at the last moment before orgasm. If i’m quick enough, i can avoid an unwanted change of sleeping-wear by preventing ejaculation manually and/or by constricting the appropriate muscles.
I’ve only had 3 in my life to this point (27 years old). The first two during puberty, the last more recently. It was a few years ago, while visiting my (now) ex-in-laws. My ex and I were in the guest bedroom, and at about 2am, I woke up with some very sticky undies. It’s amazing how fast that stuff goes from very warm to ice cold! The dream was pretty erotic, and I came while being orally serviced, something that never happens IRL. I had to gingerly get out of bed, creep open the door, creep down the hall to the bathroom, wash up and return. Thankfully, my ex and her family are very sound sleepers. I’m just glad none got on the sheets, or I’d might have had to explain it to someone.
My friend, when he lived w/his parents, would sometimes take a nap on the couch after class. Sometimes he’d do it in boxers or sweats. His biggest fear would be that one of his parents would come home early one day, have a seat in the chair next to him, and be witness to their son creaming his boxers while he slept.
Your “friend.”
Yeah, sure. 
I have to admit, it would be quite fascinating to watch a guy have a wet dream.
Well I learned from my mother, after I’d slept in the living room one night, that I’d “helped myself” while asleep. I’d realized that I’d had a NE, just didn’t know that manual dexterity had been involved as well. Or that it had been witnessed.
You want someone to pay you not to achieve orgasm? You’re like an anti-prostitute!
It doesn’t quite fit (sorry if I’m intruding) but…
I’m a female in her late 20s who hasn’t been getting much action lately. And I sleep really heavily, so it’s very unlike me to wake up before the alarm.
Having said that, a couple of nights ago I woke up at 5:30 in the morning with the crazy urge to…um…relieve some tension. And I did (with weird dreamy fantasy and everything). It doesn’t happen so automatically, but it does happen. I think if I were a guy it would have been a NE.
I agree that playin’ with snakey (or fiddling with your canoe, for us gals) will have a big part in ending occurrences of wet dreams.
Now, I’m a girl, and I find that if I’m not getting enough, I’ll sometimes have orgasms if I’m having an erotic dream - I’ve woken up on several occasions mid-orgasm.
I just pay more attention to Betsy, problem solved. 
I always wake up mid-orgasm, either before or after ejaculation, so I’m always aware of what’s triggering the release in the dream world. While until now, they’ve always happened as a result of some kind of sexual situation, the other night I had an orgasm while trying to find change for the vending machine (I remember clearly–I was in an airport in Mexico and desperately wanted a bottle of iced tea). After I woke up, though, I had no residual sexual feelings toward the drink, unlike most of my victims.
I know that one, and it wasn’t a roll of quarters I was tugging at.
I feel like I’m in that Seinfeld episode.
On Friday afternoon, there was a woman walking her dog around the parking lot at work–in a small bikini. I don’t know why she chose to walk her dog in our parking lot or why she chose to do so directly outside of my window, but he was apparently a very good dog, and she bent down to pet him. Often.
On Saturday, I went to ask my front neighbors (They rent the house. I rent the apartment behind the house) if they had a vacuum cleaner I could borrow. The hot one came to the door and I noticed (as any red-blooded male would) that her tank top was, let us say, inadequately positioned for the job at hand.
Tell me the vacuum cleaner wasn’t part of the job at hand! :eek:
You know, in my first draft I actually made specific mention that I was going to use it only to clean the floors in my apartment, but I removed it on preview, thinking: “Clearly such pedantry is unwarranted.”
Time to stop second guessing myself.
In case anyone’s wondering how the experiment turned out, it didn’t happen. It almost happened early this morning, but I awoke before the moment. I believe that that’s the longest I’ve gone without orgasm since my first one.
So, one datum against the “rotating the stock” theory.