I suppose this is somewhat inspired by my lifelong love of most things Mary Poppins and specifically the incident occurring at 2:53 in this video.
However, it’s not really about Mary Poppins at all.
This is about all of the things that you wonder about other people that you see and/or interact with everyday. I don’t believe that there is a truly ‘perfect’ person anywhere in the world. (Yes, some people will say Jesus, but I’m not talking about him.) But sometimes when I’m feeling down I think that most everybody is so much better at things than I am.* But I know that it simply isn’t true. I can’t believe that I’m the only one that ever feels this way…
So I was wondering what things are you perfectly lousy at?
Let’s see if I can come up with a few…
Although, I am perfectly capable in the math department having survived Algebra and Calculus in my younger days, I can not make change to save my soul. I think this has something to do with have to produce the correct answer instantly upon demand.
Also, I can’t make mashed potatoes. My most memorable mashed potato disaster included potatoes shooting out of the mixer and when they were finished they had a gluey consistency and tasted extremely bland.
What else? Hmm… Well, despite the fact that I like to sew, I’m not very good at it. One day a good friend of mine who is an expert seamstress actually looked at an almost finished product of mine and laughed.
Well, it’s very late and that’s all that I can think of for now. So, humor me if you will and tell me what you just can’t do.
*Not looking for sympathy here. (Nor am I looking for additions to my own personal list by others!)
I used to be too arrogant – but now I’m perfect! (Yep, I’ve turned things around 360 degrees… :p)
Me, I suck at almost anything that has to do with social interaction (real social interaction, not on a message board, where I have time to read, think, compose, edit, rethink and finally submit that shining pearl of “off-the-cuff wittiness…”)
First, I would just like to share my personal trick for reminding myself that everyone is not perfect: Think of the hottest most awesome celebrity you know or the most put together coworker or jogging buddy or whatever. Even they have had poops that were absolutely awful.
Anyway, I can’t make rice. It’s always far too soupy and never seems to soften quite enough.
It’s not that I suck at social interaction, it’s that I can’t be arsed to care about the kinds of social interactions that feel like work. I have a similar problem with baking: I finally got to be able to produce perfectly serviceable cakes, but I don’t enjoy it (I don’t enjoy the process and I’m nowhere as crazy about the results as people with sweet teeth are), so I haven’t bothered learn any more recipes.
I have a stupid problem with math: my brain refuses to use calculus or algebra to solve geometrical problems. In Crystallography (where the professor insisted in defining all symmetry elements as “a(n algebraic) matrix…”) this meant I had to learn how to translate my 3D vision into the mathematical stuff he was able to read; in Calculus it was just a humongous PITA. I still think Bolzano’s Theorem is self-evident and he should’a been taken out back and shot for making thousands of future students waste time learning how to demonstrate it.
You know that “equilibrium” thing? The one which keeps you from falling down? Me no got it. Nope. I’ve looked and looked and looked for it, but apparently I forgot it on top of my grandma’s piano, and since she died 15 years ago I’m not likely to be able to retrieve it any time soon. At least I don’t have “weak joints” any more: I’ve been known to fall down from being standing up with my back against the wall, but haven’t suffered falls like that for 10 or so years. Eye-to-hand coordination, about nonexistant. Playing pool (which I haven’t done in yoinks) I would drive people nuts, because I wasn’t able to get the ultra-easy shots but would get the ones where the white ball had to barely-touch something, bounce three sides, and then finally drive one colored ball in: I have no idea how come I managed to get those!
I know we have some OPs already lined up, but I have some nifty pics I took this weekend that I’d like to show off properly, so let me know when. Danke muchas.
After depositing Mom at the train station, I was a bad girl and drove to work following a sort of zigzagging pattern to enjoy the beauty of driving without someone else’s elbow floating above the gearshift… I don’t know how she does it, I’ve driven people who had 30kg and/or 30cm on her and I did not run into their arms when shifting gears. The woman takes twice her size in space.
gt, I love you. You’re the bestest dictionary ever. Does paypal allow the sending of jamones? A cup of coffee seems like way too little for helping me find the expression “cabinet projection” after more than 20 years of searching for it!
Apparently, I’m missing ‘The Betty Crocker gene’. Oh, I can cook pretty good. But sewing? Uh, no. I mean, I can sew on a button if it falls off, but more than that? I figure it’s a sign God doesn’t want me to wear that any more.
Housekeeping? Uh, no. I know plenty of women who have less free time than I do, but still manage to keep on top of the housework, vacuuming, picking up, dusting, laundry, etc. with seemingly no sweat. We always have clean dishes to eat off of and clean clothes to wear, and my house isn’t ‘filthy’ in the sense that there’s half-eaten food sitting around or dirty dishes and pizza boxes piled up. But it’s messy, almost eternally. I’ll get ‘on top’ of one or two rooms in the house and that’s all I can seem to manage.
Spatial orientation- I can’t tell my left from right, give directions, find my way home again, reverse directions, locate my car or remember where anything is in the mall. I am absolutely useless in this regard.
Great OP! I am marginally sucky at pretty much everything so nothing particularly stands out but I think the worst would be housekeeping. Basically I am just lazy so the idea of cleaning the house does not inspire me in the slightest. I keep the place tolerably clean, but spending hours vacuuming, dusting and tidying up? No thanks, life is far too short.
You’ll be pleased to hear that although I still have Teh Sick, it has faded to a manageable level. I think that must be the power of Belgian beer as we’ve had rather a lot of that in the last day or so.
Yesterday we went to see the Mannekin Pis which was largely unimpressive. So we decamped to a bar and sat there watching people wandering past. Much more fun. Not sure what we’re going to do today, probably just go and wander around the centre of town again and go shopping for chocolate. Hmm…chocolate!
I’m not good at the bakin’ thing either. Oh I can do cookies and cornbread no sweat cause they’re easy. However, stuff like biscuits is difficult for me. They will either be good or be perfectly wonderful hockey pucks and doorstops. So, I either get ‘em totally right or totally wrong. Also, I cannot make a pie crust nor can I make a cake from scratch. I. Just. Can’t. I also suck at math. Anything beyond the very basics of algebra and I’m totally confused. Most video games make no sense to me because I have problems usin’ the game controls. Yet I drive. Scary ain’t it!
BooFae and all other sickies glad/hope you are feelin’ better!
Great OP, StickyBuns! Although now I have Mary Poppins tunes going in my head!
I am definitely NOT domestically inclined either. I can cook and bake but just basic stuff, definitely nothing professional. In 8th grade, I had to make a dress in home ec. OMG, it was an awful mess, especially the zipper, which I had installed crooked. And worst, I had to actually wear it to school! I think I balled it up afterwards and threw it in the trash! I’ve recently taken up crocheting, but can’t make heads or tails of instructions for anything, and my granny square attempts look more like octagons … LOL Oh, there’s -way- more I could share, but it’s starting to depress me!
Even if you put a handle on it, I can’t carry a tune. I sing like a hammer.
I do very poorly at seeing the world in multiple dimensions. For the most part, I see the world through my right eye and have no concept of three-dimensional spatial relationships. It’s a small miracle I don’t kill people while driving.
Lessee… I can sew, but I can’t master a sewing machine. I have made wonderfully elaborate costumes for convention Masquerades, one involving intricate bead work: all by hand. I can use a pattern, but can’t do the first thing with a sewing machine.
Cooking: Boy howdy, can I cook. I love to cook. And I’m pretty darn good at it. But I cannot cook cornbread unless it’s Jiffy. Every time I try to make cornbread, it comes out so hard that you could shellac it and use it for a doorstop. It is so hard that I could break a window with it and possibly crack the pavement outside the window.
hands PwdMr a book of tunes Here, you can carry it for the band.
You reminded me of one of my classmates. Tunes and him didn’t even belong in the same room, so for our 6th grade presentation the music teacher gave him the triangle. He discovered he could get different sounds from it by hitting it on different spots and with different strengths and badgered her into letting him play with other percussion instruments - and ended up being the drummer in a RnR band.
I have a very, very difficult time remembering faces and people in general. In fact, my boss came around today to tell me someone on another team was fired. We’ve worked in pretty close proximity for nearly five years. She tried describing the person and I just couldn’t get it until she said “she always wears high heels”. Bingo!
Likewise I lack any artistic or crafty talent. My sisters can knit, crochet, sew and embroider. My cousins can draw and make really fine custom furniture. One cousin competes internationally carving duck decoys. I have none of that talent.
I try to remind myself that I have talents none of them have. Not one is as good with animals as I am. Animals are far more important to me than cross-stitch.
Can’t sing…don’t ask me! Can’t dance…don’t ask me! Can’t do math…don’t ask me that either!!!
I am directionally-challenged as well. Marrying a surveyor was fortuitous!
Nava, I have had crappy balance all my life. I tend to trip and fall more than the average person. I used to just shake it off but the older I get…not so much! Thank Og my bone density scan was so good!
(Yep, I’ve turned things around 360 degrees… :p)
And worst, I had to actually wear it to school! I think I balled it up afterwards and threw it in the trash! I’ve recently taken up crocheting, but can’t make heads or tails of instructions for anything, and my granny square attempts look more like octagons … LOL Oh, there’s -way- more I could share, but it’s starting to depress me!