Because right now I wouldn’t mind a mighty big whack of it.
Wouldn’t mind crawling into bed and staying there for a few weeks.
My S.O. of the last two years was dx with a rare CA early this last month. The docs can’t find the primary tumor and chemo doesn’t work on this form of cancer so he’s in for a mega-buttload of radiation therapy. He’s nearly out of his mind with fear. I’ve spent the last month with him (farmed out my kids… all three of them) ferrying him to dr. appointments and to work, but mostly trying to provide some kind of emotional support-any kind of support. I intend on temporarily moving in with him until he’s either able to recover or he dies. He doesn’t have anyone else but an elderly mother who herself is not in the best of health, and he obviously both wants and needs me there. So right now I’m in the process of trying to find someone to either housesit or sublet my big old house, find new schools for my kids, etc. Lots of major life changes and it’s all happening so damn fast!
The thing is, is that this is starting to seem like a really bad reoccuring nightmare. Three years ago my live-in partner of two years blew his head off and pretty much layed the blame at my feet. Previous to that (about six years ago), my evil soon-to-be-ex-husband went completely off his nut… we’re not talking mere nervous breakdown here, more like a lengthy locked-down psychotic hell, more like invasion of the body snatchers than simple life crisis. He too blames me for this. Awww shucks, and thanks so much.
I don’t think you’re the cause - you’d have to be Evil Incarnate to be able to pull off the things that have happened to your SOs. Chalk it up to bad luck, bad karma whatever.
Jesus, shell, hang in there. I have nothing more useful to contribute that that. You’re a good person to stay by your S.O. while you both go through this. Take care of yourself.
shell, I don’t know you, but already I admire you.
You’re definitely doing the right thing, but I guess you know that. And it sounds like you’re still up and fighting after being hit with quite a bit more tan your share of rotten luck. Keep strong, keep fighting the good fight, and good things will happen, eventually.
Healing thoughts to your SO, strengthening ones to you.
I’ll second everything Spiny Norman said and throw in a hug as well… {{{shell}}}
You’re obviously a very caring and nurturing person. Just remember that while you’re taking care of your SO to take care of yourself as well. Make time at least once a week to do something just for you; take a bubble bath, go to a movie, have lunch with a girlfriend.
You might find it helpful to seek out some cancer support groups either in your area or online. There are any number of resources on the net. Here are a few to get you started:
Thanks folks, was feeling pretty unsettled when I posted. Your wishes are very much appreciated as are your links Shayna. Thank goodness for the Mayo clinic being so close… my sweetie is getting good care.
I’m trying to get my SO, his mother and myself into a cancer support group. They both seem resistant, but maybe once the treatment starts-or he decides to forgo treatment-they will be more inclined to try a meeting. I intend on going regardless. Either way I have a feeling it’s going to be quite a process.
If anyone has information about radical neck dissections I’d be more than a little interested in hearing it.