Jennifer Aniston - will continue on her current track of decent-but-nothing special film roles. Often playing the “straight guy” opposite comedians. She will play the part of a no-nonsense District Attorney on the TV series “Law and Order: The Next Generation” when she is in her 50s. It is a role that will garner her critical acclaim. She will divorce Brad Pitt to date a man half her age.
David Schwimmer will be forgotten by the public. Occasionally people will see him on the street and ask “weren’t you the Karate Kid?” He will try to revive his career by playing the title role of “Gomer Pyle” in an updated version of the 1960s TV show. It will be cancelled after the pilot episode. He will release an album as a crooner.
Matthew Perry will continue to play roles that are exactly like Chandler. He will try to branch out and play a Godfather-like gangster, but will be heckled by audiences saying “Could ya give him an offer he can’t refuse?” His weight will fluctuate – big-Matthew, little-Matthew, big-Matthew, little-Matthew – which will earn him a role as “Number One” on the next Star Trek franchise. He will then become a game show host and do voices for Pixar animated features with Mark Hamill.
Lisa Kudrow will retire from TV in extreme bitterness. She will refuse to be a part of any reunion shows. She will go on to be a cut-throat, corporate, CEO, earning a fortune by running a multi-million dollar film production company that creates high-quality cinematic porn specifically designed for a female audience. She will become the female equivalent of Hugh Hefner and will open a series of nightclubs and casinos under her “Disco Balls” brand. She will gain further notoriety for slapping a parking cop who ticketed her jag.
Courtney Cox will do a series of “zany” caper flicks with David Arquette. Then she will disappear behind the camera and will be a successful executive producer. She and David Arquette will both later be arrested for stalking her ex, Michael Keaton, while claiming that “Batman was watching them through the DVD player.”
Matt LeBlanc’s spinoff show will fail. It will be considered even worse than “The George Wendt Show”. He will star in a string of failed sitcoms, and a sci-fi action-adventure parody flick with Ashton Kutcher and Freddie Prinze Jr. Afraid that he is doomed to return to soap operas, he will audition for a gritty, police drama like “Homicide Life on the Street,” and will shock audiences by becoming his generation’s Dennis Franz!
Only Anniston will have anything resembling a decent career, but she’ll end up getting those Meg Ryan/Sandra Bullcok roles until her career tanks and she succumbs to the plastic surgeon.
The acting abilities of all the others combined wouldn’t get you a Scott Baio on a good day.
Yeah, but if Matt LeBlanc got a serious head injury that left him with a temper and a bizarre twitch, and he mumbled a lot, I think he could find a niche as a slightly scary character actor. He would have to avoid shaving and showering a bit to compelte the effect.
Jennifer Aniston continues to do romantic comedies, Lisa Kudrow will do the occasional indie film that gain no audiences, and if there’s another Scream movie Courtney Cox will be in it. Other than that, everyone fades into oblivion.
Jennifer Anniston- I think Eats Crayons accurately describes her short term career path as the famous, but flat, female co-star. I believe she stays the magazine cover “IT” girl for a while. Eventually her marriage to Brad will dissolve. She will hire Nicole Kidman’s managment team and navigate herself toward meatier parts.
Courtney Cox- Not much. Of all the Friends, I see the one with the best career BEFORE the show as the one with the fewest option after the show.
Lisa Kudrow- She will be fine. She will continue to get good parts as a supporting actress. She may never be a huge star again, but she will always be in work. Of all the friends, she gets the “Best Chance at an Academy Award NOD”.
Matt Leblanc- It all depends on the success of Joey. Will it be Frasier or AfterMASH? I am leaning to AfterMash given that the show has cast his sister, the hairdresser, and her SON for the supporting cast. I am not picturing David Hyde Pierce anywhere in that mess. My call: Matt will be seeing some time on Hollywood Squares and sitting next to “Porkins” from Star Wars at the autograph extravaganzas…
David Schwimmer- I see this guy being a very successful director or producer. Apparently he is pretty bright and has been using a lot of his down time to get theater directing experience. He has also directed some episodes of the show. I doubt we will see him much onscreen, but I could see him turning it into a Ron Howard sort of career.
Matthew Perry- Should take a supporting role on a drama (like his role on the West Wing) to distance himself from comedy. In last month’s Premiere Magazine, he said he wanted to follow the Bruce Willis career plan of drama and humor. Can’t see that. Bruce has the action hero bit. Perry is a bit doughy.
I agree more with watsonwil than Eats_Crayons. Esp. on Lisa Kudrow. She has done some fine work. (Recently saw “Wonderland”. She saved the 2nd half of that movie.)
Courney Cox will have the biggest downhill slide of them all. Her marriage is already a sham, having a baby will only delay the divorce and make all that even messier. That idiotic home makeover show will be her post-“Friends” high point. Her personal problems will lead to a “Karen Carpenter” like ending.
Matthew Perry’s drug problems will get far, far worse once he’s not regularly in front of the camera anymore and his fame is gone. Think in terms of Robert Downey Jr., but without the talent.
Jennifer Anniston is the one that can go either way. She finally displayed some actual talent in “The Good Girl.” But in all the other movies she made she was just filler. Given her lack of looks, I don’t think she’ll ever make it to the Meg Ryan level.
In terms of future TV comedy success, Gunther (James Michael Tyler) is the only one that has a realistic chance.
Most will be lucky to appear on Hollywood Squares. Aniston will continue to play in light comedy films. Kudrow will get some serious roles. Cox might get the occasional screamie queenie role. Schwimmer is toast- might get the geek role once in a while, but he’s typecast now. Perry will make a few movies but never as a lead. LeBlanc will do one year of Joey and will do more TV sitcoms.
ftg calling the Karen Carpenter ending…COLD BLOODED!
As for Gunther, I thought that HE should have been the one to get a spinoff (or at the very least co-starred in Joey’s. He could have moved to Hollywood to ALSO pursue his acting career. He WAS Bryce from A.M.C.!)
One clarification I found on IMDb. The nephew in the show will not be a kid. It will be Joey’s supersmart 20-year old nephew played by Road Trip’s Paulo Costanzo. His mother will apparently be played by Sopranos co-star, Drea de Matteo.
This COULDN’T be right…
Matteo is only five years older than Costanzo…
Accroding to ImDb, Matteo is 31 and Costanzo is 26.
Sounds weak.
To make matters worse, someone from Birds of Prey is the sexy neighbor(Huntress’s Ashley Scott); no doubt the “will-they or won’t they” love interest.
Didn’t Joey have a fling with the woman who played Oracle on BoP? Watch out Black Canary!
Well, yes, of course Lisa Kudrow can be fine and dandy. I also liked her in The Opposite of Sex. But dammit, it’s much more fun to think of post-Phoebe as a ballbusting corporate scary-lady!!!
She’ll need to choose projects very, very carefully. Or else she’ll end up like Zsa Zsa as someone who’s famous for being famous.
Oo! I forgot about Gunther! I agree whole heartedly. I can see him doing well on other sitcoms or even drama series.
Courteney Cox-Arquette’s marriage will end in failure, and she will seek solace in the arms of a studly stranger. She will thenceforth be known as Courteney Cox-Thunder.
She is attractive, yes, very. But she is lacking in a star-quality charisma when it comes to expressiveness. While she may have lovely cheekbones and ogglable boobies, and she can look great smiling for the cameras, she has a very neutral range of expressions that makes her rather “plain”. She doesn’t have a very dynamic range facial expressions.
Maybe she’s been over-botoxed. I usually just see the big smile, the neutral face, and the scrunchy face she gets when she sees something cute, like a puppy.
