I’m not sure it’s fair to tarnish the main event with activities taking place at “a secret afterparty”.
I mean, if we do that, many high school formals are hotbeds of debauchery, drinking, sex, drug-taking and reckless behaviour…
My interest is less in “tarnishing the main event” than in figuring out what the hell happened, and tarnishing the folks involved who acted badly.
Looks like the men’s identities are hidden (their faces are pixelated).
Wonder why they don’t want to be recognized?:dubious:
I believe that the UK has much more stringent libel and slander laws and media there are more careful not to name subjects or otherwise identify them.
I’m still curious about what up_the_junction saw first?
Men like to play with tits and ass, this is hardly new information.
As a man, I am insulted that you are insulating that I am unable to keep any sexual urges in check.
Are you actually arguing that men are so weak as to be incapable of being functional in a social setting?
I like money too, but I am not planning on robbing a bank today.
An excellent point! Men also like to play with guns, which is why I’m inclined to give mass shooters a pass.
Seriously, I wonder about some of the posts people make. Do you spend a half second thinking about whether they make any sense at all before clicking the “submit reply” button?
I responded to madmonk exactly as quoted. I don’t see the issue if it was consensual. Further examination into this would only reveal patterns on male sexuality and not attitudes on women.
It’s posts like the one you quoted that make me question why people say this is such a liberal board. I just don’t see it.
That’s ridiculous. Whether a man has a high sexual attraction toward women is only one factor in whether the man sexually harasses women. The other, much more important, factor is whether the man believes it’s important to treat women with respect and as equal humans, or whether he believes it’s appropriate to treat women as inferiors who exist to service him.
I don’t doubt that you don’t see the issue if it was consensual. That tells us about you, not about the issue.
This board has many liberals on it, but it also has a serious problem with virulent sexism and other forms of bigotry. I’ve talked with several people who have abandoned the board in disgust over this problem.
Sure, but if “What the hell happened?” happened at an afterparty, then the ire should be directed there, not at the main event which had a crossover of attendees.
Why shouldn’t be disgusted by both?
The after party is also a very good hint that the organizers knew exactly what the main event was meant to be. I would hate for my sister, mother or friends who happen to be women to be subjected to that experience and feel that no stranger should be unwillingly subjected to sexual assault just so a group of men with means can treat women as cattle for a night.
What the hell? happened at both events.
If you say so, I’ve been here 18+ years and don’t see much sign of it. This place is incredibly misogynist.
Because I haven’t heard anything happening at the main event itself that I’d think was especially egregious or the sort of thing someone working there wouldn’t reasonably have foreseen might be happening.
I’ve worked hospitality before and had drunken women grab my ass during hen’s nights, I didn’t go off accusing them of sexually assaulting me or anything like that.
Like I said before, I would be astounded if the pre-event verbal briefing didn’t cover “Here’s what to do if one of the guests has wandering hands, and some of them will, unfortunately.”
Actually trying to get hands up dresses or fondle breasts is absolutely unacceptable and if anyone did that they should definitely be in a lot of hot water, but I just cannot get angried up about a hand resting too long on an arm or someone asking to hold a waitress’ hand.
It’s possible for a place to have a lot of misogynistic views expressed and also be full of posters with extremely left-leaning views.
The unaddressed issue of white/male fragility.
The only way this will change is if we man up and start helping other men learn the skills we currently don’t teach them.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not even suggesting that this is at the top of the stack rank in needs, but it is a very real effect of the patriarchy and a good example on how it isn’t positive for anyone.
The social costs for not signing up for this false masculinity is still pretty high right now, so I doubt it will change at the same rate as other challenges but I sure do hope that someone finds an effective way to work on it.
For a system that is built on a supposed power, it is amazing how frightened and fragile men who haven’t been lucky enough to have someone show them another way is pretty pathetic.
Maybe when we can get rid of systemic, ritualized sexual assault (maybe a bit of an intentional trigger on my part there) we can start working on mens lack of coping skills and the fake external metric for self worth etc…
But I have the feeling most of that is going to involve a lot of incremental work.
While US specific, remember that this whole mess can in some ways be traced Bacon’s Rebellion, and that for the most part they placated the white working class by throwing other groups under the bus, then said “well at least your not them” and then ostracized anyone who dared point out that the emperor has no clothes.
I lucked into family and friends that helped me on that journey without judgement, so I will take any tips possible but there is zero chance it will be learned in the school yard or the board room at this point in time.
With the understanding that I am not accusing you personally of anything, but only sharing because it is hard to learn why as a male in our current culture.
One of the few metrics that can indicate the chances that someone will commit sexual assault, or that they will self justify it is the Updated Illinois Rape Myth Acceptance Scale (IRMA) scale.
Here is a link to a PDF.
With another reminder that I am not making a personal attack, but trying to help share information, tally your score, re-read your above post and see where it may map.
I won’t ask you to share your results, but I bet you I can guess a general pattern based on the statement above.
I am willing to bet that most of the attendees would score much lower than you btw…and we all probably have some work to do on the subject. (a low score is not a good score on it)
I’m sorry, but I completely fail to see how any of that addresses my earlier points. We’re not talking about obvious cases of actual “forced to have sex against their will” rape here, so it’s not comparable.
And I think a LOT of people would question the “myth” status of some of the items on that checklist, too.