I have a Kindle Fire, which does more than just store electronic books. You can play games, surf the web, stream music, etc. It’s not the best gift for a five-year-old, but a five-year-old can definitely have fun on one.
More play, more exercise, and more time outside.
Talk to any teacher, and they’ll tell you that boys are more boisterous than girls. They have a harder time sitting still, a harder time controlling impulses, and a harder time keeping quiet. For a long time, boys outnumbered girls in ADD diagnoses, because the girls with ADD weren’t hyperactive and their wandering attention didn’t get noticed. This is not to say that the boy in question has ADD/ADHD, but that maybe his parents need to see if his needs are actually being met before they start labeling his behavior problematic.
As the mother of a very energetic son, I agree with everyone suggesting more exercise. Heck, daily calisthenics with a parent (and maybe jogging on the weekend? Or biking? Or lengthy games of one-on-one basketball?) will do quite a bit to help.
I have a five year old boy and he’s a bundle of energy. His default is running. Putting him in martial arts helped channel some of that energy. Ironically, it has also curbed his fighting impulses somewhat. My wife used to make him go up and down the stairs ten times when he got to be too much to handle.
Has there been some change in that kid’s life? Has he gained a young sibling? My five year old was misbehaving a bit when his younger brother came. We’ve made sure that he is getting his share of mommy and daddy time, and the bad behaviors have stopped for the most part.
I don’t have much of an opinion on the child in question, given the scant info, but I am curious as to how you came to this conclusion.
A 5 year far enough outside the normal range to warrant a diagnostic label at that age would be pretty unlikely to have the impulse control and above average executive function capacity to make and follow through that decision. IMHO.
I don’t have an opinion one way or t’other as to whether this kid has issues or not, but I am surprised that his Kindle was initially removed for an entire week for infractions.
That seems like an awfully long time for a 5yr old. A day, maybe two without a ‘favourite’ thing maybe, but a whole week?
??
You are wrong about that. I don’t mean for that to sound snarky. I agree that it does seem a bit counter-intuitive, but it’s true. There are some five year old children for whom a tablet computer is a very appropriate gift. Some children are more inquisitive and curious, and want to read stories and figure out how stuff works. Other children are adventurous and restless, nearly bursting with energy. The former type would probably make great use of a tablet computer, while the latter would probably prefer a super-soaker or a bicycle.
There’s really not enough information here and I am not a doctor.
But.
The things you are calling out, the high energy, quick with his fists, were the first things we saw with my son who was ultimately diagnosed with ADHD (and the possibility exists of some other -isms, we’re still working through it). And, in case anyone is wondering, it is not anything we could have managed on our own with more exercise, although that is certainly part of my son’s routine.
Your friends, and to a lesser extent, you, interact with this child. If his behavior is concerning, please suggest your friend take his son to his doctor and describe what’s happening. He or she can refer them to a reputable psychiatrist for further conversations if warranted. I would guess there is some cause for concern based on the title of your post.
Because one of the chief symptoms of ADHD is impulsivity and the inability to control impulses. If a five year old boy has both enough self-knowledge to understand that he’s likely to abuse a gift and he has the self-control to turn it down, it’s far less likely that he has ADHD. Not guaranteed, but likely.
Another thing that helps with my son is (believe it or not) chores. He really likes folding and putting away laundry, pushing a carpet sweeper, and mopping. Of course, someone else’s mileage may vary.
My nephews have a lot of energy, and their outlet when visiting their grandparents (my in laws) is to take them to the nearby park. Generally it’s only a matter of time before they are getting rowdy in the house and begging us to take them to the nearby park.
One or two adults will take them and kick a soccer ball around with them for a few hours. This gives the adults a chance to have “grown up time”, catching up on family dirt, watching tv, or simply enjoying the quiet and dozing on the couch.
Some kids are better than others. I definitely noticed a difference between kids raised around other kids and kids raised around adults. IME, the kids raised primarily around adults will sound more articulate, but also be more ‘needy’ since they are much more accustomed to interacting with adults for fun vs kids.
You are reading too much into it - or anyway, its a 5 year old phase… attempting to be rebellious,all very silly … “I won’t ever learn to read !”.
I doubt he thinks he is buying the right to be naughty.
He is just punishing the parents back for reminding him of the naughty episodes. Who wants to be reminded ?
Actually its good that he recognizes that its embarrassing… just acted on the feeling of embarrassment and spited himself . he’s a bit young to recognize it as spite.
These little ones, its probably better to be sure to have lots of opportunities to learn that are more organic… not this offline way after the fact admonishment… more “you got angry over that ? hey, control your anger !” little events.
Thats when maturing truely occurs.
I saw that in my own son. One week he was crying when he didn’t get his way, we say "hey, we don’t mean to make you cry, want a big hug ? ".
The next week something similar happens, an angry look comes across his face… he looks like he is about to cry, he sees that dad and brother are saying "hey don’t cry over this ! ", and he turns his face, takes a deep breath, and takes control…
its the real in place situation , he has the real feeling, he can be treated as a baby if he is really upset, but like, that means hugs and kisses, baby
Sounds like what she needed was a good shaking!
joke.
I don’t believe there is any substitute for quality time with one or both parents. Some kids seem to require more than others and some parents are better at doing this than others. I wasn’t very good at it but my wife was so I got lucky.
This and this some more. Give the kid alternatives for the bad behavior, don’t just say NO. For example, when The Kidlets started hitting (at the behest of some relatives who shan’t be named - or skinned alive, as would be more appropriate), their parents’ solution of “NO”, timeouts, lengthy rants and so forth wasn’t doing jackshit; what worked was giving them safe ways to vent rage and frustration (hit a pillow, not a person).
All five year olds need more physical play time, not less. The kid in the OP has violence issues. Sitting and playing on a Kindle is not going to help him. Karate class would be a much better choice.
Thanks again, guys. This is all great stuff.
My kids have all been very high-energy (although most of them not violent), and free, physical play is the answer. Public playgrounds with jungle gyms are fantastic resources for families like this.
While the violence would need to be curtailed, there’s a difference between whether the kid is a dominating bully or if he’s just easily angered. Given what you said about the Kindle, I’d wager the latter. Handling situations better is something that can be taught, and something that improves with maturity. Most five-year-olds don’t have much in the way of impulse control, and it actually sounds like this one is better than average.
And, I’ll echo the idea of emphasizing the positive rather than being heavy on punishing the negative. Positive re-inforcement gets MAJOR results. Making sure he gets applause whenever he does what he’s supposed to do will serve well to steer him in that direction permanently.