Five weeks ago I told my editor that the piece I was working on would be “a few more days”…
actually it’s a bit distressing, because this has turned into a geniune case of writer’s block. 
When I got my first car, I didn’t change the oil in it for three years.
I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
When I moved out of my first apartment, and had to return to my parents’ home for a while, I figured I might as well leave everything packed in boxes since I’d just have to repack it again anyway. So there it stayed, for 13 months.
Currently, my fridge contains a bottle of Coke that’s 17 months old. My boyfriend tried to take a swig of it a little while back and nearly gagged. I also have a collection of recyclables that hasn’t made it downstairs to the proper bins yet. It dates back to the week I moved in. I’ll get around to it… probably when I move out.
Gamera is really neat, he is full of turtle meat, we’ve been eating Gam-er-aaaa…
Top ten reasons to procrastinate:
1.
I have what used to be a pumpkin (a jack-o’lantern-in-waiting?) on the balcony from Halloween.
Also, I still have about 10 unpacked boxes from when I moved…2 years ago.
Your Official Cat Goddess since 10/20/99.
Hey, I like that hat, man. They sell men’s clothes where you got that?
Let’s see.
-Dishes in my sink are growing fungus. (I bought paper plates and cups because all my regular dishes were dirty.)
-An onion in a Rubbermaid container in my refrigerator has started sprouting.
-I’m three months late on several bills. (I’ve been ignoring my answering machine.)
-I have a punch bowl on my counter that I borrowed for a Christmas party in '98.
:::singing:::
“I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?”
God is my co-pilot. Blame Him.
Okay, this is kind of gross actually. I bought 3 pumpkins for Halloween. They are still sitting in my yard, only, they are not pumpkins anymore. They are 3 piles of mush. I can’t wait to see how many pumpkins sprout up out there…lol 
Rolling houses?
“His eyes are as green as a fresh-pickled toad,
His hair is as dark as a blackboard,
I wish he was mine, he’s really divine,
The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.”
Taking a dump?
“His eyes are as green as a fresh-pickled toad,
His hair is as dark as a blackboard,
I wish he was mine, he’s really divine,
The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.”
I still haven’t turned some of my clocks back. (Of course, this will work in my favor now) 
OUTLINE FOR FIRST DRAFT answering opus
{1)
Hmmm. Am I going to get around to answering this question tonight? OK, I’m a backsliding procrastinator.
I once had a turkey that stayed in my fridge for four years. The only reason it finally moved was because I did (no, I didn’t take it with me). I’ve got some Ling and Kingfish in my freezer that I caught on a fishing trip in 1989. I had a girlfriend with whom I split up (well, actually, she fired me) in 1995. I don’t really remember when she put down the book she was reading with it’s little clip-on reading light on the chair next to the far side of the bed, but I didn’t manage to put them away until about a year ago (well, nobody had needed the book, the light or to sit in the chair during that time).
You don’t even want to know about some of the clothes in my closet; suffice to say some of them were popular stuff when Abbie Hoffman was.
And I will straighten things out with Chase tomorrow (I was going to do it tonight, but I’ve been remiss with the board this week).
I still have library books out, in my maiden name. I’ve been married for four years.
I have a plate of food in my refrigerator from a Christmas party, in 1998. I think it’s in cahoots with Absynthetic’s mashed potatoes.
My washing machine died last November. I still don’t have a new one. Thank the deities I have lots of clothes. Every so often, we do have to truck down to the laundromat, because we’ve got two kids. But if it was up to me, I’d just buy new socks & underwear every couple of weeks.
Please tell me your boyfriend put the Coke back in the fridge. If he did, he is a genuine, red-blooded, All-American Guy.
This is my new sig. Thank Wally. It was his idea.
“I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday.”
Yeah, I’ve been there. There’s a K-Mart on my way home from the office and I’ve scored many a weeks worth of socks and undewear there. I now own 16 weeks worth of cheap undergarments (I notice president Billy was taking a $2.00 deduction for each pair of used underwear he donated to charity - Hell, somebody tell me what $2 underwear feels like!).
I wanted to ask this 3 days ago, but…
Opus–did you really put the Christmas tree up? With decorations? Sounds suspiciously un-procrastinator like.
My confession–and this feels good–I have decorations that never have and never will get put up. I did BUY them though, allowing for double guilt quotient of wasting money and failing to follow through.
inconceivable? i don’t think that word means what you think it does
I’m surprised no one has mentioned schoolwork.
I, for one, wrote my entire senior thesis for English class in one night, and 5 page essay on the works of Albert Camus. Actually made an A on it!
I also got a roll of chocolate-chip cookie dough that I just found tucked away in the fridge. I have no idea how long its been there, but it has the consistancy of a brick. It has “SELL BY FEB 97” stamped on the outside. Poor guy. Better put him back where its safe
Dam! I forgot tomorrow, maybe I will wait,why not?
whatever for?
click
Damn. Premature procrastination!
slinks away in shame
Inertia, what are you doing with my sig line?
And I still want to know how, and why, one rolls a house!
“His eyes are as green as a fresh-pickled toad,
His hair is as dark as a blackboard,
I wish he was mine, he’s really divine,
The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.”
I’ve been married 2 years and still haven’t gotten around to officially changing my name, even though I go by my husband’s now.
The sick part is, I’ve worked three different places and everytime I fill out that W-4 (or whatever) I check off the little box that says “Check this box if your name is different than the name on your social security card and call 1-800-XXX-XXXX right away.” I just haven’t gotten around to it yet. :o
Other shameful confessions:
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I couldn’t break my MUD addiction in college, so for my senior thesis, I wrote a distributed Java MUD and submitted that along with a 50-page reference-less paper.
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I still have Christmas decorations on the front door of my apartment (which neighbors have to walk past everyday).
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I could open my own freakin’ Hallmark with the number of unsent cards hanging around here (at least 200 covering everything from “Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Father-in-Law” to “Happy 1st Anniversary, Brother” – which got forgotten for BOTH of my brothers’ anniversaries)