An airline captain had just delivered his ‘Happy flight’ spiel to his passengers, and didn’t notice his push-to-talk button was stuck. He says to the copilot, ‘I’m going to take a good healthy shit, and then boff that new flight attendant we have on board.’ The flight attendant, back in the cabin, hears this – as do all of the passengers. She starts to run to the cockpit, but trips in the narrow aisle. As she lies on the floor and elderly lady says to her, ‘What’s your hurry, honey? You heard he was going to take a shit first!’
EDIT: I didn’t say it was a good joke. (It’s one I heard as a kid.)
I will never, ever say anything inappropriate for general audiences if there is a microphone anywhere near my mouth, regardless of whether I think it’s on or off. It’s astonishing how many people have been recorded saying things that they would rather not have played back for the general public.
This wasn’t just some funny incident of a pilot saying something off color on a hot mic. It was an extended, homophobic and misogynistic rant about flight attendants - a job he seems to feel exist only to provide him with what he deems to be suitable sexual partners. The issue with this is not the language, but the gross disrespect for coworkers. Basically the entire rant can legally be construed as sexual harassment and abuse of subordinates. This guy needed to be fired.
The troubling thing is that he seems to have felt that he was not saying anything other pilots or ATC personnel would object to. His copilot never takes exception to anything, and even the ATC guy is just concerned that he has his mic on, not about the content of what asshole is saying. You have to wonder if this jerk represents a whole culture.
There’s no denying that some pilots can be arrogant jerks. And there’s no denying that many pilots (and many men) can be misogynistic bastards. But I do want to address ATC’s response.
In aircraft radio communications there is a certain protocol. It’s not the place for chit-chat, and arguing is frowned upon. It would be unprofessional for the air traffic controller to take the pilot to task. Unless the pilot broadcast his identification, ATC wouldn’t even know who was talking. The controller could not, within accepted practices, make any judgmental comments. He let it be known in a professional manner that someone was broadcasting inadvertently.
My impression is that his comments were not heard by the passengers, and that he was broadcasting over the radio. I can imagine jaws dropping at ATC, though.
What about other pilots? Someone on another plane, on overhearing the whole exchange, was recorded uttering, “And they wonder why airline pilots have a bad reputation.” Was this out of line?
I don’t know why this is such a big deal. The Airlines could easily fix this kind of behavior, simply by hiring younger, more attractive female flight attendants.
Most pilots – even recreational pilots – maintain fairly good radio discipline. But sometimes commentary is irresistible. ‘And they wonder why airline pilots have a bad reputation’ was snarky. Was it out of line? It didn’t need to be said. On a crowded frequency (sometimes I’ve had trouble getting a call out asking to penetrate controlled airspace at LAX, there were so many calls and responses going out) it would not have been a good idea. Personally, I don’t think the commentary by the other pilot was out of line. Had ATC said it, I would say it’s unprofessional.
FWIW: You generally don’t want to spend a lot of time on the radio. Say who you are, where you are, and what you want. But (as a GA pilot) I’ve been flying in times when it’s not at all busy. Sometimes ATC and pilots will engage in short conversations. As a helicopter pilot, I’ve heard brief convos between pilots on the helicopter frequency.
The reporting after the crash near Buffalo a couple of years ago suggested that passenger jet pilot is a demanding, even grueling, job that pays relatively poorly for the level of responsibility. At the time, the disparity seemed strange. This pilot’s comments suggest a sort of embittered disappointment with the lack of a built in after hours social scene. Is the expectation of easy access to an adolescent fantasy playboy lifestyle part of the reason why airline crew members are willing to put up with the fairly crappy work conditions? How common is this pilot’s whining over the lack of coworker interest in cocktails and boning?
What made me smile when I first read an article about this was how quickly Southwest seemed to jump to the “they were in the cruising phase of flight, where personal conversations are permitted” statement. Obviously that is an important issue, but at least the way the article I first read was written, it almost seemed like that was the first thing Southwest said before criticizing the content of the rant and behaviour of the pilot. It almost made it seem like “if this hadn’t gotten out on the radio, the comments would have been acceptable!” It may just have been the way the article was written, but it still made Southwest look bad, IMHO!
On a recent flight, all three flight attendants were male, possibly gay, though there really wasn’t any way to know, and all three were smoking hot. The pilot may not have been too pleased, but I, at least, enjoyed the eye candy.
