Progress on my Handbook for Slackers has been... slow

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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Almost two years ago I started writing a book. The title has changed several times – Handbook for Slackers, Self-Help for Slackers, etc. But as a model slacker myself, I’m finding it unsurprisingly difficult to make progress.

Here is an example of how much a slacker I am. I am scheduled to be laid off at the end of this year. If I stay on until December 31, I get a severance package worth about 6 months pay, and would then be eligible for unemployment. If I find a new job before then and leave sooner, I get nothing. I have cleverly managed to rationalize this scheme – if I don’t look for a new job, I’ll get a nice payout that I can probably live on for a year, and have plenty of time to write the book. And I’ll avoid all the stress of job-seeking, interviews and blah blah blah. Plus, of course my book would be a best-seller, and I’ll never have to get a normal job again.

This scheme has a not too subtle appeal for a slacker like me, but my friends tell me this is a really bad idea. And I’d have to say, based on the progress I’ve made on the book so far, by many realistic standards they are right.

But last night after a few drinks and dinner with friends I have become re-inspired. First, my friend Mary Jo came up with the concept of a product line to accompany the books. She calls them Inaction Figures – fat dolls that do nothing. The only accessories would be underwear, a couch, a TV and a remote. Later we added beer cans.

I also came up the a concept for a sequel, Thou Shalt Not – The Slacker Bible. So far the idea is really sketchy. In keeping with the slacking concept, all the rules must be prohibitions against action, rather that prescriptive. Also, I need to refute the meme, “Idle hands are the Devil’s playthings.” My reply is that if the hands stay idle, the Devil can’t do a damn thing with them.

So that’s where I am – considering leaping wide-eyed into unemplyment, with a thin rationale for why it will be good for me.

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I’d be very interested in reading your book when if finally comes out. I wonder if a man named Gerald will be used as the example slacker? :smiley: Maybe the “For Dummies” collection will sign you a contract? (You know you’ve hit rock bottom when you pick up your copy of “Slacking for Dummies”.)

Kidding aside, what do you stand to lose if you go through with your plan? To me, it doesn’t sound like a that bad a plan, but I’m not the most responsible kid on the block.

I’d say go through with it, but when January comes, start looking for work in addition to writing the book. That way, if you come across a dream job, you can take it, and if not, you’ve lost nothing until June.

Good luck! And I’ll be looking for your book on the shelves sometime next year (when I get around to it).