Assumption #1: Women mean time and money
Women = time * money
Assumption #2: Time is money
time = money
SO
Women = money * money
= (money)[sup]2[/sup]
Assumption #3: Money is the root of all evil
money = sqrt(evil)
SO
Women = [sqrt(evil)][sup]2[/sup]
= evil
QED
I just saw that at another message board today. Funny. 
And you needed a biiiiig mathematical equation to prove it? Helloooo, boy! Where have you been!
We are evil. Get used to it.
E.
I’m sorry, but your equation fails because it is the love of money that is the root of all evil:
Back to the drawing board.
Actually I recall the proper quote being “Love of Money is the root of all evil”. Therefore Assumption #3 is modified. Love of women is evil. They’re fine if you ignore them.
Ah, but the more a man ignores me, the more attractive he becomes! Sigh! I think maybe I’m in need of a wee bit more therapy, eh?? 
Proof that I myself may not be evil, just whacked in the noggin.
Once again, Creaky and jarbaby experience the mind meld. What could be sexier than a big, sweaty hairy beast man being smug and arrogant, ignoring your pleas to be his dog?
Guh. I’m all tingly.
jarbaby
[celestina scratching her head, she punches some numbers into her calculator, and all of a sudden the calculator blows up! Her hair standing on end and face smudged with soot, she sits there in shock for a few seconds, but then she starts to cough at the all the smoke. Frantically waving away the smoke, she looks at the ruins of her desk.]
Dangit! Ya’ll know I ain’t good at math. Ain’t women difficult enough to understand without bringing all these high-falutin’, new, befandangled equations up in here! Now on top of everything else I’ve got to contend with–I don’t know how I’m going to explain this mess to my boss–my gender is reduced to an equation. I’m a commodity! Oh, my sisters in sin, we’re nothing but figures on a spreadsheet, graphs on an x,y axis, derivations upon derivations of two-dimensionality! Oh, the shame of it all! Is there no justice in the world?
[celestina, muttering all sorts of naughty words under her breath, starts cleaning off her desk, salvaging what she can.]
Oh, and Uncle Bill, I concur with Creaky and jarbabyj. There’s nothing quite as sexy as a big, strong fella who ignores a woman, unless he starts to pay attention! Oh, I love a challenge!
::Bumbazine sits in the corner reading his newspaper and sipping his beer, studiously ignoring Creaky, Jarbaby, and all the other ladies of the Straight Dope::
[sup]<thinksnow pays so little attention to the women here, he’s not even going to post to this thread>
[/sup]
…damn, foiled again.
Yeah, I posted this over on Fathom about 9:30 this morning. I’d just seen it on a co-worker’s cubicle. Must be the email of the day.
Who let you off your leash??
Get back in your doghouse until I have time for you.
[/sweaty hairy beast mode]
jarbaby and celestina, you gals so totally rock! We really gotta chat sometime about our adventures with them big, handsome, sweaty hairy beast men.
jarbaby and celestina, you gals so totally rock! We really gotta chat sometime about our adventures with them big, handsome, sweaty hairy beast men.
(… Creaky quietly approaches Bumbazine, RTFirefly and thinksnow, placing more drinks in front of each of them, gazing adoringly but ignored, of course! Her heart goes pitter-patter…!)
Hmmm…
to me “something and something” would be represented as “something + something” not “something x something”
Yowza. I got so excited about being ignored, I messed up that last post. Sorry!
<pokes head in door> You rang?
:: swoon ::
you see? I’m Krunk’s personal whore simply because I barely ever talk to him!
by the way master, where do you work out, is it possible we go to the same gym? And also, my husband has a sneaking suspicion that you are in fact Kerry Wood. Is this true?
I’d ask in email, but you won’t let me
jarbaby
<hijack>
jarbaby, I wish we belonged to the same gym - I’d be honored to be getting all sweaty in your presence. ahem Unfortunately, I’m a burbs dweller (and IIRC, you’re in the city), so the likelihood of us being on treadmills next to each other is remote at best. 
(BTW, forgot to modify my profile - there ya go!)
</hijack>
Krunk
well, even if all women are evil, it’s better than the alternative…
same for women who say all men are dogs…
A big sweaty hairy beast Monstre doing the same?
Monstre <— pointedly ignoring every damn one of you…