There would certainly have been times during a funeral Mass when kneeling was called for – no one did?! I’m boggled.
Also, even if you are not using it, consider putting your kneeler down so the long-legged person in front of you can put their calves and feet in a natural kneeling position.
That’s what I meant by “even more casual”. Short shorts and spaghetti straps are not unheard of. Of course my father tells of being rented leg covers (he was wearing long shorts) so he could stop inside a church when visiting Russia. Very strict!
The only actual rule is that non-Catholics shouldn’t take communion, and even there, there are exceptions (basically, you have to believe the same things about the Eucharist that the Catholic Church does-- Some Anglicans and Lutherans fall into this category). Walking up with your arms crossed or staying in the pew are either one acceptable.
For attire, while I’m sure that it would be preferred that you wear something nice, I’ve seen people in church (and administered communion to them) who were wearing all sorts of rags, and none of them were ever kicked out. It’s up to you what “something nice” means: Personally, if I’m not ministering in some way (Eucharistic or lectoring), I try to aim for about one step below necktie.
For the “Catholic Calisthenics” (sit, stand, kneel), either find an old lady who looks like she knows what she’s doing and copy her moves (honestly, that’s what most Catholics do), or just stay seated quietly. And I’ve seen some parishes that don’t kneel, mostly because the pews lacked kneelers (some knelt on the marble floor anyway, but that’s their choice).
And you didn’t ask, but any songs or prayers said by the congregation are open to everyone. If you know the words, feel free to join in. Or, again, just sit quietly (many Catholics do that, too).
TL:DR, if you’re ever in doubt, you can’t go wrong by just sitting quietly, in any circumstance.
Hey, Chronos, what do you do as a Eucharistic minister when someone comes up arms crossed, or when a pre-Communion kid comes up? I know Father would do a quick blessing in both cases – what is your process?
When I attend a Catholic church, I don’t try to end in and try to be Catholic for the day. I respectively try to observe their rituals and traditions. I stay seated and don’t kneel or take communion. I do sing the hymns and recite the Lords Prayer (as I was taught)
You have to watch out for the Lord’s Prayer - I believe in some Catholic churches, it stops at ‘deliver us from evil’ (and unsuspecting visitors trip over themselves as they begin to say “for thine is the kingdom…”)
Catholics do say it, you just have to wait for the priest to say “Deliver us, Lord, from every evil, and grant us peace in our day. In your mercy keep us free from sin and protect us from all anxiety as we wait in joyful hope for the coming of our Savior, Jesus Christ.”
At least, they used to. They changed the english version of the mass a year or so after I stopped going and now what the priest says is similar but different. Bah.
I went to a Catholic funeral recently and everyone was encouraged by the priest to participate, either by taking it or coming to the altar with arms crossed to receive a blessing. The only person that didn’t go to the altar was a devout Catholic friend of mine. Her husband had previously been married in the Church with a subsequent divorce. This excluded them from marrying in the Church and hence they can not take communion. I have a hard time with that.
Pretty sure that joining the Communion line and then presenting oneself to the priest with arms crossed is a locally-sanctioned practice, but not the official practice.
Really, you can just stay seated. Many Catholics may decide not to receive Communion on any given Sunday, and it’s generally considered impolite to notice. Not a big deal at all. Nobody will think twice about it.
When I went to mass with my college roommate, I stayed seated. He went up and got a blessing. This was something he had been doing since he’d almost become a Catholic.
I definitely rose and sat (we didn’t kneel due to lack of room) as we were supposed to. This was recommended to me by my roommate. Everyone else did it, too, even those who did not go up for Communion. I do wonder how much the aforementioned lack of room factored in–people would be rather close to you if you sat while they stood. They used youth group folding chairs rather than pews.
Despite having stopped short of confirmation, my roommate had a great relationship with that church, and would go there every other week, as well as go to the lunch they set up every Thursday. And they would give him the leftovers, being one of few people to have a fridge in his room.
When I, a WASP, attended the funeral of my 91-yo Catholic uncle (a widower of my WASP-Deacon-of-her-church aunt) 8 years ago, standing beside my now-Episcopalian cousin, I did run on, quietly, quickly, with the “…for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. Amen.” She, a former non-Episcopalian WASP, elbowed me. I returned the elbow.
When her WASP brother had married a Catholic girl in a Catholic church 40+ years ago, one of their sibs or Dad pasted white letters, “HE” on the insole of his left shoe and “LP” on the right insole. Got a lots of muffled laughs during the kneel.
Indeed. The Catechism, PART ONE, SECTION TWO I, CHAPTER THREE, Article 9, Paragraph 3, reads…
“838 The Church knows that she is joined in many ways to the baptized who are honored by the name of Christian, but do not profess the Catholic faith in its entirety or have not preserved unity or communion under the successor of Peter.” Those “who believe in Christ and have been properly baptized are put in a certain, although imperfect, communion with the Catholic Church.” With the Orthodox Churches, this communion is so profound “that it lacks little to attain the fullness that would permit a common celebration of the Lord’s Eucharist.”
So if you’re faithful, you have your marchin’ orders. Get to prayin’!
I assume you’re joking, but extraordinary means “not ordained.” Extra, meaning outside, as in extramarital, and “ordinary,” as in ordained clergy.
There’s no way in hell. You must’ve missed it. At the very least, you kneel after receiving communion and returning to your seat. Surely they knelt during the Sanctus.
I am an episcopalian but have been to a number of RC masses (relatives, friends, weddings, funerals).
Expectations/rules regarding communion really do vary. At the funeral of a friend’s mother (a church literally around the corner from me) there was a note in the bulletin: “owing to the sad divisions in Christianity today we do not offer the Eucharist to people who are not practicing Catholics” or some such language, repeated just before communion by the priest. (Possible it was aimed more at “cafeteria Catholics” than at interlopers like me.) At my aunt’s funeral it was also made clear that non Catholics were invited to remain in their seats. Or get a blessing. I chose to stay where I was.
OTOH there have also been occasions where a number of non-RC people went up including me, and at least one where an invitation was extended to all baptized Christians, which I realize is unusual. In these cases I do take communion. I do, after all, belong to “holy catholic and apostolic church…” And no one has ever objected, including those who know I am not RC.
RivkahChaya, just FYI, you would actually be welcome to take communion at my Epsicopal church, if you wanted to…we have an open table where belief and baptism are not required. Some non-Christians in attendance remain in their seats, others get the blessing, but i am often surprised at the number who come up for the Eucharist. We aren’t as uncommon as we used to be in that respect, either…
When I have heard it at our church, it’s “all Catholics in good standing are welcome to come forward”, since not even all Catholics are OK to receive.
Similarly, a Protestant friend said her minister would refer to the holy water hand sprinkler as his “Catholic finder”, since we’re programmed to cross ourselves when the water hits.
“Deliver us, Lord, we pray, from every evil,
graciously grant peace in our days,
that, by the help of your mercy,
we may be always free from sin
and safe from all distress,
as we await the blessed hope
and the coming of our Savior, Jesus Christ.”
“For the kingdom, the power and the glory are yours, now and forever.”
It would depend on the congregation; drop by my mother’s church at any funeral and there’s a high probability that the only person without mobility problems will be the priest.
I think I have heard that specific formulation at least once.
The church I was mentioning had its own, more hard-hitting version, which definitely mentioned “the sad divisions in Christianity.” They were freelancing, I’ll bet!
And I really wasn’t sure whether the main goal was to keep them damn Protestants away from the altar or to serve as a warning to “Catholics who THINK they are in good standing (but aren’t).” It’s been a while and I can’t remember how the rest of the wording went, but I do recall thinking it could be taken either way. Maybe both were intended. Hey, why not? Two for the price of one…
