Pub lyrics for popular songs {warning, adult lyrics}

Cafe Society
1

I used to do a single act and people in the audience were always teaching me new songs. I loved the Irish pub sing a long type atmosphere

One Night after work some fun folks from Bristish Airways were teaching me some lyrics for the old “Ghost Riders in the Sky” western song.

ONe day when I was ridin’ along the river bank
I spied Captain Ferrall, he was givin’ hinself a wank
I saw what he was wearin he was dressed up in a frock
And when he saw me starin’
his hand slipped off his cock.

One day when I was ridin’ out amongst the trees
I found a cowboy bound and gagged, his pants down by his knees
He said he’d been molested by a cowboy who was gay
Then I unzipped my trousers,…
said, “Boy this ain’t your lucky day”

:smiley:
They said this song had many many verses sung in pubs in the UK. If anyone knows anymore verses please share them.

If you have other funny or bawdy pub songs to the tune of familiar songs or just fun songs please share them.
Potentially fun thread.

2

To the tune of a Generic Mexican Folksong [1]:

Aye-yae-ya-yae
Your sister scrapes batshit off cavewalls
So sing me another verse
That’s worse than the other verse
As you waltz me around by my foreskin

Aye-yae-ya-yae
Your mother swims out to meet troop ships.
So sing me another verse
That’s worse than the other verse
As you waltz me around by my foreskin

Aye-yae-ya-yae
Your mother does squat trusts on fire hydrants.
So sing me another verse
That’s worse than the other verse
As you waltz me around by my foreskin

The song passed around the group and each person tries to out do the verse before.

[1] I’m sure there’s a proper title to the song, but I have no idea what it is. Recently Rosita taught Elmo a version to sing to Gina that went:

Ah so l’amore
That is “love” in Spanish
So open the door,
And please say “Amore”
And say you’ll be mine forever.

3

“Cielito Lindo.”

4

Here’s one by Maine songwriter Jud Strunk
Ever been away from your loved one so long that you’re missing her in that special way. As you’re driving home all you can think of is your joyous reunion, and you hum this sentimental ditty.

I got a hundred miles of hard on for ya baby
I giot a hundred miles of hard on for ya gal
I got a hundred miles of hard on for ya baby
but it’s more than just a hard on ,…it’s a pal.

:smiley:

5

I guess this doesn’t count, because The Rodeo Song is a real song :rolleyes:, rather than a variation on a theme. I can’t post all of the lyrics due to the SDMB’s policy regarding copyright infringement, but someone else has posted it on this link: WARNING - VERY OFFENSIVE LYRICS

But we sure enjoyed singing it at the Bucksnort.

6

My friend was the king of this, spending a lot of time honing the filthiest lyrics he could. This is part of his classic, Miss American Pie;

A long, long, time ago, I can still remember, when I, shagged your momma,
And I knew that that I had blew my chance, she made me itchy, in my pants…and believe me, that didnt go 'way, for a while…

February makes me shiver… thats the month, i did fuck her…
bad drinks in the disco… I was totally off my tits, oh…
And i cant remember if i cried, when she mounted me with that ass so wide,
but something got fucked up, deep inside the night, i called your momma, a ride…

(gets faster)

did she read the book on sex? Heard she starred in a porno with a dog called rex…cos her husband told me so…
and she believed in ufo’s, would give E.T. a blowjob if his mickey glowed, and fuck the ball team realll slowwww…

Well I know i wasnt in love back then, when we started riding in the gym…
we both kicked off our knickers…
man, yo momma’s got humumgous clinkers…
And i cant remember if i cried, when she mounted me with that ass so wide,
but something got fucked up, deep inside the night, i called your momma, a ride…

Chorus

So bye, bye Miss american pie, tried to stick it up her anus but her anus was dry…
and godole boys, drinkin whisky and Coors, said “I wouldnt even touch her with yours… no I wouldnt even touch her, with yours…”

When singing this in the pub, usually before being asked to stop, we would sing that last chorus line with a peculiar poignancy, which none of us ever addressed.

Good times.

7

You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille (YOU BITCH! YOU SLUT! YOU WHORE!)

or

It was an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, little pecker for a weenie…

8

OKay, thanks for the input. I’ve done the Rodeo song a couple hundred times. The Asshole song os also very popular.

Were you born an asshole, or did you work on it your whole life.
Either way you got the job done pal, you’re an asshole tonight.

Anyone actually have any other verses for “ghost Riders”