Industrially produce music has a long history of looking out across the vast horizons of human creativity, plucking from the tree of humanity the sweetest fruit… and then mercilessly promoting this subculture until it is distorted and destroyed. Much to the chagrin of the people who founded the movements so treated by the corporations in question… which have of course moved on to the Next Big Thing.
Punk has recently been appropriated for such treatment… in all probability to allow the 12 year old girls something to turn to now that they’re 14 and beginning the backlash against the Boy Bands they liked 2 years ago. Like most music produced in this fashion, it’s relatively content free, and so is classified via context. “Punk Music” is mostly about image/look and marginally about sound. There is no undercurrent of political activism, nihilism, or anything else that made original punk edgy- that would be bad for business. It’s all about fashion iconography and interesting hair… zippers and gel, kids, zippers and gel.
Hypothetically speaking you could grab a teenage female trained in country-pop singing, remaster some of her previous work, put her in an undershirt and some baggy pants and market her as #1 punk rocker to the core, USA!
Thanks all for your comments and now I feel somewhat better (I think). I agree that the lying is the worst problem because it undermines everything, her relationships with her parents and teachers most of all. The smoking is next because for myself, it took me 18 years to quit and her grandfather now has bladder cancer, which the doctor says is from smoking.
She is going to live with her dad in a month or so (her mom is moving back to Colombia). She has been in a way caught between her mother’s strict Catholic upbringing of over 30 years ago and her dad, who did everything in the book and today is a nurse and owns a nursing home. He is worried sick she will repeat his history of course; he survived but I used to say that he would either be President or incarcerated.
I’m not worried about the aetheism. I lived a lot of years before I developed my own philosophy of life. I think it’s an individual thing. Right now she is just copying ideas her friends espouse.
I forgot to mention the bi-sexuality that seems so acceptable now; she has a friend who says she is bi-sexual. Also, a friend who says he is gay. And she has witnessed girls giving blow jobs to their boyfriends during lunch period right in the open. I wonder how all this affects her sense of the world and how people relate to each other in a supportive and honest way.
The ironic thing is that my son researched high schools on the net and found the one she is in and actually pays a fortune for an apartment in that area so she can go there. Maybe she would have been better off in the school where only 20% go on to college; I don’t know.
What in the world does sexual orientation have to do with learning how people relate to each other in a supportive way? Do you think gay or bi people are not nice, supportive, productive members of society?
I think you are far too concerned over that which you cannot control.
Dogzilla - I am inclined to give Suzeekay the benefit of the doubt and assume that the references to bi-sexuality and gayness are more about expressing concerns that her granddaughter is in a sexually open environment, and while people should be comfortable with who they are and all preferences should be respected (that don’t involve children or hurting people who don’t want to be hurt), that does not make it any less scary to see a young person you care about have to deal with the sexuality being shoved in their faces these days. Her reference to seeing girls giving blowjobs is why I am inclined to think that that is her bigger concern.
I am with you Suzeekay - I have some nieces dealing with this right now and it is extremely scary. Teenagers are “hooking up” - basically not worrying about dating and going steady, just hooking up for sex - and while it is healthier to worry less about the relationship aspect of things at that age, hooking up almost always is about the boy using the girl for oral sex, which could easily play into stereotypes about submissive girls. Girls’ self esteem is so fragile at that age anyway, getting peer-pressured into giving guys blowjobs doesn’t seem all that healthy.
Bottom line - if I am hearing you correctly and your concern is whether she is experimenting sexually, you or your son should talk with her. More importantly, you or your son should listen - tell her you love her unconditionally and want to be part of her life and she won’t get into trouble if she talks, so please help you understand what is happening in her life and LET HER TALK. It may take a long time for her to open up, but you or your son will have a fact basis from where you can actually figure out what to do.
