Herewith, the very definition of mundane and pointless random silliness:the stoner’s bible
This text is derived by extracting verse 4:20 from each book. Quite a few of the books do not have a twentieth verse of the fourth chapter, a fair number of them do not even have a fourth chapter; those are simply omitted.
Included in the text are the canonical apocrypha that qualify, as well as a substantial number of texts that fall outside of canon.
And Adah begat Jabal, that was the father of the dwellers in tents, and of shepherds;
And I have chosen the seed of Jacob from amongst all that I have seen, and have written him down as My firstborn son, and have sanctified him unto Myself for ever and ever; and I will teach them the Sabbath day, that they may keep Sabbath thereon from all work.
Moses took his wife, and his sons, and set them on an ass, and he turned again into Egypt, and he bare the rod of God in his hand.
And so he shall do with this calf, as he did before with the other one, and when the priest shall pray for them, the Lord shall be merciful.
Other men see not by any curiosity those things that be in the saintuary, before that those be wrapped; else they must be put to death.
Forsooth the Lord took you, and led you out of the iron furnace, out of thy strong tribulation in Egypt, so that he would have a people of inheritance, as ye be to this present day.
Also Joshua putted in Gilgal the twelve stones, which they had taken from the trough of the Jordan.
And Sisera said to her, Stand thou before the door of the tabernacle, and when any man cometh, and asketh thee, and saith, Whether any man is here? thou shalt answer, No man is here.
Amminadab begat Nahshon; Nahshon begat Salmon;
And at the moment of her death, the women who stood about her said to her, Fear thou not, for thou hast borne a son. But she answered not to them, neither took she heed.
The people of Judah and Israel were unnumberable, as the sand of the sea in multitude, eating, and drinking, and being glad.
And when he had taken him, and had brought him to his mother, she setted him on her knees unto midday, and he was then dead.
Also the sons of Shimon were Amnon, and Rinnah; the son of Hanan was Tilon; and the sons of Ishi were Zoheth, and Benzoheth.
And the candlesticks, with their lanterns, out of the purest gold, which would shine before the Most Holy Place, that is, the Holy of Holies, after the custom;
for why there were in Jerusalem full strong kings, which also were lords of all the country that is beyond the flood; also those kings took tribute, or taxes, and tolls, and rents.
Therefore in whatever place that ye hear the sound of the trumpet, run ye together thither to us; for our God shall fight for us.
From morrowtide till to eventide they shall be cut down; and for no man understandeth, they shall perish forevermore, with no one taking heed.
My son, harken thou my words; and bow down thine ears to my speeches.
Sorrow is called on sorrow, and all the land is destroyed; my tabernacles be wasted suddenly, my skins suddenly be all torn in pieces.
The very breath of our mouth, yea, the Lord’s anointed king, was caught in their sins; he of whom we had said, We shall live under thy shadow, among the heathen.
The tree which thou sawest high and strong, whose height stretched unto the heavens, and the beholding thereof into each land.
A man leaveth his own father that brought him up, and his own country, and cleaveth unto his wife.
Then answered he me, and said, Thou hast given a right judgment, but why judgest thou not thyself also?
Who when they perceived that the Jews had put their host to flight and were burning the tents; for the smoke that was seen declared what was done:
this money then, in regard of the sender, was appointed to Hercules’ sacrifice; but because of the bearers thereof, it was employed to the making of gallies.
And now I signify this to they that I committed ten talents to Gabael the son of Gabrias at Rages in Media.
And when they cast up the accounts of their sins, they shall come with fear: and their own iniquities shall convince them to their face.
Observe the opportunity, and beware of evil; and be not ashamed when it concerneth thy soul.
I have put off the clothing of peace, and put upon me the sackcloth of my prayer: I will cry unto the Everlasting in my days.
And when the tyrant saw them there, standing as if they were a festal choir with their mother in the midst, he took notice of them, and struck by their noble and distinguished bearing he smiled at them, and calling them nearer said:
And the swordsman said unto him, ‘Nay, but by the life of thy head, O my lord! Haiqâr is safe and alive.’
Therefore the temple, which the Lord shall choose, shall be laid waste through your uncleanness, and ye shall be captives throughout all nations.
And after these things shall a star arise to you from Jacob in peace,
One of these I took, and put it upon my head, and immediately the devils left me, and fled away.
And at once they left their nets, and followed him.
And he said, so the kingdom of God is, as if a man cast seed into the earth,
And when he had closed the book, he gave it again to the minister, and sat; and the eyes of all men in the synagogue were beholding into him.
Our fathers worshipped in this hill, and ye say, that at Jerusalem is a place, where it behooveth to worship.
Pilate saith to them, Why should he die?
And again he saith, I gave my back to the smiters,
Forsooth we may not not speak the things that we have seen and heard.
Also in the promise of God he doubted not with untrust; but he was comforted in belief, giving glory to God,
for the realm of God is not in word, but in virtue.
and I would now be at you, and change my voice, for I am confounded among you
but ye have not so learned Christ,
but to God and our Father be glory into worlds of worlds. Amen.
Forsooth Erastus dwelt at Corinth, and I left Trophimus sick at Miletum.
If any man saith, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar. For he that loveth not his brother, whom he seeth, how may he love God, whom he seeth not?
Be ye safe in the Lord Jesus Christ; and in favour with all yours. Amen.
The ministration of the priests is in every way unsurpassed both for its physical endurance and for its orderly and silent service.
If therefore, ye shall have prepared yourselves, ye may escape it, if your heart be pure and without spot; and if ye shall serve God all the rest of your days without complaint.
For neither they who have newly believed, or who shall hereafter believe, have any repentance of sins, but forgiveness of them.
The order of the verses is somewhat arbitrary, as, quite frankly, the order of the bible itself is arbitrary. It could possibly be rearranged to make some kind of sense.
