[QUOTE=eleanorigby]
It is neither so simple or so facile. I don’t see how it can be, given that it involves people, some of them without a choice or say; morals, gender issues and roles and the possibility of psychopathology.
But, oddly enough, it is one reason I stick around. I don’t get a chance to really think about my principles much–having such things appear in front of me forces me to consider situations and ethics in ways I hadn’t. Very illuminating and stimulating.
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You’re right–it’s neither. However, it’s different only in the specifics, not the fundamentals. For example, I recall from past posts that you have some differences in sex drive with your husband and that it causes you some conflict both within yourself and in your relationship. Since that conflict is involuntary and causes you pain, it’s likely that no matter how circumspect you are about camouflaging your feelings your kids may very well pick up on it and know something’s amiss. They don’t know the specifics, but they know something’s not right between mom and dad.
If you were to heal that rift between you and your husband, such that your sex life had a vivid flowering that put a spring in your step and a rose in your cheek and hubby suddenly is likely to pull you into the linen closet for a snogging or whisper something dirty in your ear as you’re washing dishes just to make you blush and bridle–well, your kids will pick up on the fact that something has changed for the better, right? They’ll be aware on some level that mom and dad are friskier with each other and much happier but they will not know the specifics. Would it really make a difference to them that the reason you’re so cheerful these days is that you’re wearing a butt plug and nipple clamps all day (or that maybe dad is!) as opposed to you guys just getting down with lots and lots o’missionary? Nope. Not one iota of difference.
It’s freaking people out because what that couple is up to is unusual to most people, sexually speaking. Because the specifics of what they do in the bedroom makes people uncomfortable it’s coloring people’s perceptions of their entire relationship and causing a knee jerk THAT’S SICK reaction that does not appear to be actually jiving with the reality that the OP is describing. If, instead of D/s they were doing furry or cosplay 24/7 I’d be even more disturbed and worried about their kids because that’s pretty damned obvious–go ahead, try to hide the fact that mom & dad dress up as plush animals with pink bits ALL THE TIME. We tend, as adults, to assume that everybody knows what we’re up to, but it’s not nearly as obvious as we think. Reasonable discretion is plenty enough to hide the sordid reality in about 90% of all sexual arrangements!
So yah, I think it’s probably pretty safe to assume those kids are just fine. Heck, I’m as far from a sub as it gets but my SO will pull the “Obey me, woman!” line on me every so often just for fun and it never weirded my kids out–I’d just giggle and go along with him–or not, as I pleased at the moment. The truth of our bedroom was not then and isn’t now any of their business!
That particular post just tickled my funnybone for some unfathomable reason.
I want a PM too!
