I’ve posted pics of Tonka and Creamsicle elsewhere. Tonka weighs in at 15 pounds, and Creamsicle is less than half his size. Tonka’s a bully.
They’ll eat cheek-to-cheek. They’ll sleep together (a couple/few feet apart). Creamsicle doesn’t play much, but she’ll play with him sometimes. The problem is that Tonka tends to get riled up, even when Creamsicle doesn’t want to play. He’ll corner her and stare at her. Worse, he’ll pounce on her back and grab her back with his jaws. After he did that a few times already this morning chasing and chasing him off, he did it yet again. I held the scruff of his neck and gave him a swat on the rump and tossed him into a bedroom.
Both cats get plenty of attention. They don’t have to compete for food (though Tonka is a glutton). There’s no reason for Tonka to assert dominance. How do I teach him that pouncing and biting Creamsicle is bad?
I don’t know. You can teach cats some things, but they play dumb when you try to teach them other things. For instance, if a dog bites you accidentally when you’re playing and you yell and stop playing, the dog will learn very quickly not to do that. But if a cat sits on your lap and makes kitty biscuits and extends its claws, you can yell and throw it off your lap a million times* and it will keep on doing it.
I would just say, let them sort it out. It doesn’t sound like there’s going to be blood, just, possibly, fur flying on occasion.
Or you could try some kind of positive reinforcement. I don’t think negative reinforcement, i.e., punishment works very well on cats.
*I believe I have done this. So who’s the slow learner here?
Does Creamsicle seem to mind? Because if not, I’d just let it happen - if it is not bothering her, let them be. What looks like bullying to you might just be normal behaviour to her.
This sounds like pre-mating behaviour, which looks rough but is tolerated, (or sometimes not) by the female cat. In the animal world, females usually have the upper or dominant hand, because the boys know they have to play nice in order to mate.
Are you sure it’s not just attempts at play rather than bullying/dominance? If so, you could play with Tonka, get it out of him. At 15 pounds, more playtime might be in order for his health.
If he slimmed down, Creamsicle might have more of a chance in wrestling and be more eager for it.
We had the exact same situation going on here. Harley is the bully, and Twig is the little girl half his size. A lot of it stems from boredom. When Harley’s bored or has too much energy is when he’s the worst. If I play with him for 15-20 minutes a day, he gets pooped out and doesn’t bug Twig so much. However, what’s REALLY helped is feeding squirrels on our deck. The two cats watch them for hours through the glass doors and miss a lot of napping time. I swear they have bags under their eyes. There hasn’t been a single bullying incident since we started doing that about a month ago.
if this is a function of a new cat entering the household it’s going to take at least a month before the dust settles. I used a water spray bottle and the “shoe of justice” to scold the aggressive cat for bad behavior and lots of petting and treats as reward for good behavior.
Hissing is good. Or you could keep a squirt bottle handy. Our cats learned very quickly to respect the squirt bottle. If you could catch Tonka when he’s starting to look like he’s going to mount, you won’t have to get Creamsicle Kitty wet too.
Try tossing something to distract. Either a good thing, like a toy he chases, a catnip mouse or ball, or a bad thing, like an empty Coke can with some pennies in it (makes noise and startles him - tape the top shut). Since he wants to play, start with the good and see if you can’t distract him that way. Move up to bad, if Tonka’s not getting the message.
If he’ll chase a laser pointer, or a mouse on a string, you might also trying playing with him a few times a day, and work some of his energy off. I had forgotten until I read through this thread, but my old male used to do something similar to the females when he was bored. He’d bug’em until someone fought back or ran. Then he’d have a nice little spat or chase, which is what he wanted. Playing with Tonka might help keep his attention off of Cremesicle when he’s feeling frisky.
I’m of the mind to let them be if it’s not turning into Creamsicle screaming and fighting. Cats are weird. If they’re not actually fighting - and you know they’re really fighting because screaming is involved, not just hissing or growling - I really wouldn’t worry about it. From your previous descriptions of her, I think she will have no problem stopping him when she’s had enough.
The idea of specific play with Tonka is solid, too. At least a couple times a day getting him running around with a wand toy like this one, called Da Bird. My shelter recommends this one, I’ve yet to find a cat that doesn’t go ape over it. Also, using that for distraction when he starts bugging Creamsicle, instead of punishment, is a better training tool. Of course, you might have to get two, and play with them together.
How about (I always come up with the nasty) capacian (sp) or something hot and spicy on the scruff of CK? CK isn’t likely to lick off anything on is nape - cats can’t reach that point.
Or, find a way to place a bit of flypaper on CK’s back. Let the bully figure a way to get that off its underside…
p.s. - “pussy” to mean “cat” is kinda lame…
I saw an hooker site* which did the “important data” in arrest record (interesting choice of format) layout. Because so many places censor “pussy”, the had “Kitty: Bald”.
a person looking (Craig’s List, of course) for a room gave a phone number. Googling that phone number produced the site.
Class act.
I didn’t know that neutered cats would still try to mount a female cat. I’ve tried hissing in the past, but apparently I have the wrong dialect. Neither cat has any interest in laser pointers. Tonka will play with his mouse-onna-string as long as he doesn’t have to chase it. Same with the feather-thing on the wand. He likes to chase foil balls, but he loses interest after half a dozen tosses. He likes running back-and-forth and then climbing to the top of the kitty tree. (It surprised me he could do it, first time I saw it. )
Tonka definitely wanted to play this morning. Fortunately, Creamsicle did too. Actually, it looked like she was the instigator. She took a couple of flying leaps at Tonka and they chased each other around. Tonka still wants to play, but it’s clear she doesn’t and is sitting on the lower cradle of the tree, washing herself. Might have to let her outside soon.
The SO says we should just let the mounting and biting play itself out, but she’s irritated when she feels scabs on Creamsicle’s back.
I’m more a dog than a cat person, and mounting is often a dominance bossy move and nothing to do with mating behaviour. Not unusual for neutered dogs to mount each other.
Same for spayed bitches, actually. My small spayed girl dog will not only occasionally try to mount another when she’s feeling bratty, she also lifts her leg and marks like a male. She’s not the first female I’ve had that would do this.
Remote-controlled shock (bark) collar? Check ith vet to ensure the zap won’t harm kitty, but some of them are designed for the chihuahua-size crowd, and may translate directly to large cat.
Or, keep a sink-full of warm water and give Tonka an impromptu bath bath when misbehaves…
Odds are, the act of filling the sink will let Tonka know to behave himself.
Do they both still have their front claws? If so, the problem i probably self-limiting…
There hasn’t been a single bullying incident since we started doing that about a month ago.
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