This is one of those things that I feel like I can recognise it when I see it but would have a hard time expalining the difference.
I have known people who were artists when it came to qualifying themselves without ever appearing to brag. I have know others that are very well qualified but tend to sound like they are bragging when they make feeble attempts at qualifying themsleves.
I very much appreciate a new aquaintence or job applicant qualifying themselves as a conversation progresses. In most cases it is fairly easy to pick up on some nervousness and allow for it as we may realize they are under some pressure to sell themselves. I tend to turn off when I feel like someone is bragging, sometimes it is a fine line and I try to stay openminded.
Here is where the question comes in. I am presently retired and looking back I can see where in a number of important instances durring the course of my career I had failed to sell myself or even more often my failure to sell a concept because I had failed in gaining sufficeint respect of the ones I was pitching.
Sometimes it is important to sell yourself as a whole person beyond just your work history. How do you teach yourself to do this and still present yourself in a favorable likeable manner. This would be geered toward situations where in group meetings you would like to feel your voice is being heard. I am finding a need for this in my new retired social life and I want to try and get it right this time.
A braggart will usually go out of their way to volunteer information about how awesome they are, and tend to take it a little too far. Confident, non-jackass type people will mention things if asked, or if it’s the topic of conversation.
If you are stating an informed/professional opinion, say something like, “It’s been my experience that ________________, etc”
Now, if someone wants to know what your “experience” entails, they will ask and you should provide a concise and un-embelished response. Else, continue to speak from your knowledge of the subject and not from your credentials.
Sometimes, it’s as simple as mentioning other people who made it all possible. I hate it when a CEO takes credit for a company’s accomplishment as if they were the only one that mattered. I’d much rather have a CEO who credits themselves with picking the right team/plan for success, because that’s the part of the process they can actually take credit for. Braggarts will often lay it out like they succeeded in spite of everyone else involved, not because of.
It also helps if you can source positive comments as coming from someone else. “I’m the best ever” is perceived very differently from “Jane told me I’m the best ever.”
Don’t repeat yourself too much. It’s one thing to say “I’m the best ever” once… it’s another thing to say it every fifteen minutes.
You mention a job interview, which I would consider a totally different context than a casual conversation. In a job interview, you are the focus of discussion and it’s expected that you are selling yourself. There’s still a line between confident and cocky, but the things I’d say about myself at an interview are different from the things I’d say at a cocktail party.
For me personally, I’d rather err on the side of making sure that people know my capabilities, but you do want to watch the situation and watch the cues other people are giving. If they’re not saying “Tell me more” then it’s time to shut up.
This is good. Also, the non-Jackass knows that no matter how good/smart you are, there is always someone better/smarter. And you never know when you might be talking to them.
Speaking to skill/experience and outside is different than comparing yourself to others. I have 15 years of experience with X, focusing on Y and Z, and was picked as the lead for implementing this (x related) major project is different than “I’m an expert at X and was clearly the best guy working on it at my old company.”
I interpret phrases like the second sort of like reading a fortune cookie except I tag on the phrase “in my own mind” instead of “in bed.”