Ok, so I have recently lost some weight. I have one friend, my sister and my mom who are about the same size I used to be. I have some pretty nice things (Macy’s, Lane Bryant, etc) that are too big for me now. Nice quality, no real signs of wear. Some things I just bought the beginning of the year.
Would it be rude to ask them if they want any of these things?
I ask because I really don’t want to come off like, “Hey, I’ve lost all this weight, but you haven’t, so…want my old fat clothes?” These are all people who don’t have a problem shopping at thrift/charity shops, so the fact they are used shouldn’t be a problem. Weight loss is a struggle for all of us and I don’t know why, but I seem to be the only one having success at the moment. I don’t want to rub it in. I also know that except for my mom, money is a tad tight and they might welcome free clothes.
How would you go about phrasing it if you were going to offer them the clothes? or would you just give them to charity.
After I lost most of my weight, I gave a bunch of my “old fat” clothes (good stuff in good condition) to a friend who hadn’t bought any new clothes since her divorce. She was thrilled to get them. But then again, we’re both pretty straight talkers.
I don’t think it’s rude to offer, as long as you phrase things politely and they have the sense not to get all butthurt. “Hey, I have a bunch of clothes in size whatever that I’d like to give away, would you like to look through them and see if there’s anything you’d like?”
“Hey, I’m so sick of my old clothes, but I don’t want to throw them away…I figured maybe you are, too. Want to have a Clothing Swap? My house, Saturday, bring wine and chocolate!”
Works every time. My girlfriends and I do a Clothing Swap at least twice a year. Much wine and conversation, laughter and throwing of clothing occurs. Whatever isn’t taken by someone gets bagged up and we all help carry it out to someone’s car, and she drops it all off at a donation box on her way home.
Good for the earth, good for the closet, good for the soul.
Did I mention the wine and chocolate? I think those are key.
Clothing swaps are GREAT! I have a group of friends of all sizes and we all have clothes that are too big and too small, and someone’s always losing weight or pregnant or gained a little weight. Everyone seems to find something that makes them really happy, and you get to do fashion shows for each other, or have everyone try on the same hideous dress. And have nice beer and snacks! We’ll even bring jewelery or soaps or hand lotions that we don’t really like. Then, when it’s all over, someone bundles the rest off to Goodwill.
My family trades clothes around ALL the time. Half of the stuff in my wardrobe is stuff that no longer fits my mother. And my aunt is always on the lookout for new shirts since she lost a ton of weight. It wouldn’t be a big deal for us to just casually mention, hey I have some pretty nice clothes in your size that I don’t want anymore. Then just take 'em over in a garbage bag.
Yep, don’t mention the size of the clothes or that they are too big for you now. Just say you have some stuff that’s going to Goodwill but you’d like to give them the chance to pick it over first. Then they ask you what size it is.
I usually just announce “this top/dress/skirt is going to the charity shop, it’s nice though, do you wanna try it on?”. That’s to my flatmates, sis, mum, anyone around. Flatmates & I, we even just put stuff over the banister of the stairs. That means it’s going out, last chance if you want to have it. I guess our situation is already pretty relaxed.
So I would say approach it in a relaxed, natural way, not as if it might potentially be embarrassing. I really like WhyNot’s suggestion too.
I think it’s the most natural thing in the world to ask, so I really wouldn’t worry about it. Maybe they’d been eyeing that one top already and would be really offended if you just threw it out!
This is exactly what my girlfriends and I do - we’re all vastly different body types and sizes, so it’s rare that we’ll find anything clothes-wise, but we each keep a “goodwill box” by our front doors.
We just toss anything we don’t want (that’s in good condition) in there - everything from incense burners and candles that give you migraines to gloves or scarves that you find scratchy or awful colored to clothes that are unseasonable or you just never got around to wearing (or were given to you by well-meaning inlaws who didn’t include receipts and think you’re three sizes bigger or smaller than you actually are…) - all of it goes in the box.
Then whenever we’re at each others’ houses, we just invite each other to check out the box - who knows when you’ll find something fun!
This is what I said when faced with the same situation.
“Not that I think you were nearly as heavy as I was, but I thought you might like to see if any of it looks nice on you. Just give what is too big to goodwill.”
I’m a guy so it might be a bit different. I have a good friend who didn’t have a suit, he’s the same height as me and almost same build but more slender. I had two suits, one I didn’t want. I just told him I’m donating the suit, do you want it or not?
He wanted to give me money, but he had gotten me some stuff at Costco so I called us even.
I’d just say, ‘Hey I’m donating some clothing, you interested?’
Yeah, except none of her friends would be able to swap anything with her, right? I’d just say, “Hey, I’m giving away a bunch of clothes – want anything?”
Brief tangent: You wanna know what pisses me off about me? I am so incredibly average sized, yet have never had a single close friend who was the same size as me. What’s with all these tall, short, skinny or big girls? Ain’t nobody completely average anymore? I used to be able to [del]steal clothes from[/del] swap clothes with my sister, but she lives a few thousand miles from me now. :shakes fist:
I don’t think it’s rude at all. Two years ago when I lost 40+ lbs there was no question with everyone I knew that my body had changed. I brought a huge bag of clothes to work and left it in our lounge with a sign that said – free. It was gone within 2 days and most folks didn’t even know where they came from because I didn’t advertise that they were from me. There was no need to do so. I also gave some things away directly to other friends. As far as the weight you have lost – be proud of it! It’s not easy and it is a healthy and terrific accomplishment when you’re able to do so AND keep it off. Some people will be happy for you, and others will be green with envy and there is nothing that you can do about it. Good for you, Rhiannon8404!
The point of proposing a Clothing Swap is that EVERYONE has clothes in their closet they’re not wearing anymore. Sometimes because you’ve gained or lost weight, sometimes because that thing you thought was so perfect ended up not matching the slacks you thought they would, sometimes it’s a piece you love, but have just worn too much and are ready to give a new home. Having a Clothing Swap means you clean your closets, swap with your friends, and donate the hell out of the rest.
And size doesn’t matter, really. I’m the biggest gal in my circle of friends, so yes, I don’t really get much in the way of clothing at our swaps. But that’s okay; my primary goal is to clean my closets, and it’s a good excuse. (My secondary goal? Wine and chocolate.) Plus, I’ve gotten some awesome scarves, purses, shoes, decorative hair thingies…and yes, last time people started bringing smelly candles and incense holders and other stuff they didn’t want anymore, too.
