And here we have first-hand confessions of the Freuduan phenomenon of transferral.
Speak for yourself, please. While I certainly always had a specific think in my head at all times, that does not mean there was never more important stuff in there as well. Nor that I could not be a sensitive person at the same time. Nor that even if it were to come to fruition that it would be anything other than a mutual, beautiful, wonderful experience.
Of course, all the OTHER teenagers I knew were dirty buggers simply for thinking about touching the girls I knew
Well I am, as of yesterday, the father of a 13 yr old girl. The past year has been marked by some major changes from little girl to young lady. I can certainly say she’ll be one that the boys will be looking at. And I think she can handle it, even if it causes me significant heartburn. She has very definite ideas about what is appropriate, and has no problem asserting herself. I am very proud of her.
All that being said, my level of comfort with her being the object of someone’s ogling is much lower than my level of trust in her. Will I break their kneecaps for looking? No. Will I give them a look that says “you’re one breath away from eating through a straw for the next 6 months”? Oh yes I will.
[on preview I notice the OP said “check out” rather than “ogle”. This is partially in response to those who used that wording]
I guess, for me, it would all depend on what the definition of “ogling” is. What’s an appreciative glance, and what’s an ogle? I’d agree with a lot of the daddies here, that if I were to catch someone ogling my 10-yr-old sister they would get a very stern look. I’m not big, but this is one instance where my “intense loner” image could come in handy to increase my apparent size :rolleyes:
But I’ve never actually seen anyone ogling anyone that young. In fact, I’ve never seen anyone ogling anyone I have been with. (Standing a dozen or so yards back, on the other hand, sometimes it’s apparent.)
Or maybe, when I see someone looking at someone that young I just think they are high or insane, whereas I would assume they were ogling an older person?
But I think looking at someone can be a “checking them out” without crossing that line. I don’t really get paranoid about other men around my sister.
(smile) Good observationYookeroo. However, the reason might be that only us fathers who have beautiful daughters who get ogled (or checked out) have the direct experience to be able to respond to the OP.
For example, while I love my wife dearly, she is no longer ogling material so I felt ill prepared to answer that part of the OP.
Algernon - speaking purely in the interest of dispelling ignorance, I think it is high time you submit photographic evidence of your qualifications to participate in this thread.
Ah Dinsdale my good man. Whence comes this prurient interest in teenage girls in bikinis? If I recall, your daughter is only a couple years younger than mine. Need we alert the authorities? (grin)
I do indeed have proof in the form of numerous photos. Alas, my scanner is malfunctioning so there is no way to digitize the evidence for display. Sorry about that, chief.
Not to take thread too far off course, but how do Hilary Duff/ The Olsen Twin Fathers handle it? I mean, their daughters are sometimes trading on their “look-but-don’t-touch” sex appeal.
Perhaps they don’t care as long as the boys pony up the dough for the movies.
As for me, I get hyper-caveman if anyone looks at my sister/mother/girlfriend/ friend who is a girl and I’m with. It’s weird, because people used to bash me off the head quite regularly with no reaction, but linger your eye too long (more than 2 seconds) and I may start a shouting match with my 1920s-style death ray as backup.
As per the part about ogling a wife, my wife happens to be very beautiful, tall blondish, quite sexy…I catch guys checking her out all the time. Once they see me staring at them staring at my wife they usually look away quickly and walk in the opposite direction. Then again I am 6’2" and weigh 225 pounds…they really don’t want to go much further than a brief glance :mad:
When we have children I’ll be the same way with my daughters if we have daughters…I know how horny young men think, precisely why our girls will will be allowed to date only after the age of 25. Oh I wish that were true, just kidding
My sisters seemed to think the whole boyfriend-terrified-of-girlfriend’s-father dynamic was pretty darned funny when they were in high school. Dad trusted them to use good judgement in dating and going steady, and never employed any deliberate intimidation strategies. Yet by the time boyfriend X arrived at the house to meet the parents, he had been told enough stories about “Daddy’s” Green Beret years to ensure the complete absence of impure thoughts for the next four to six hours.
My daughter is only 5 right now, so dating is still a long way off. And while I do harbour the occasional neanderthal fantasy about scaring the hell out of Kizarvexilla’s first date, my fondest wish is for her to grow up along the model of her aunts. “See, this is Daddy’s sword collection. This two-handed one is his favorite. It’s really sharp!”
As mentioned in beer thread, hubby and I have what I think is an average American who is a very good friend (average American to myself, a Canadian, is armed, large and very very decisive) apologies to those who aren’t but just my experience!
My armed, large, decisive American friend has three daughters: one 23, barely 5 ft, cute as a button; another 21, tall, dark,gorgeous and the little one who is only 11 but threatening to be a combination of both above.
He does the gun room thing as well…however, keeps the knowledge that both the girls can shoot pretty near as good as he can and the middle one is a martial arts expert to himself.
In all the years oldest one dated, she only had to bring out “I’ve called my dad” once and that was when the only live-in she had threw a piece of furniture at the wall.
As an only girl, also only child, it’s comforting to know that you can call dad if/when you get in to a situation you can’t handle…of course,the general idea is to avoid that when possible however things happen and it’s good to have dad as a back-up. Especially one who won’t ask stupid questions at the time because you’re generally scared/worried enough.
Uh oh…well, might as well jump…we tend to be a little more mild mannered opposed to indecisive. Plus we generally don’t have the weapon stash to be decisive about. AFter all, as you may have heard, all our bad guys have to register their guns!
God, I know this is going to come back and kick me in the ass! Sigh.:smack:
god, apparently my little quote came out wrong too…i’ts not work, it’s world! Sorry, probably have guessed by now, I’m relatively new to posting! I promise I’ll get better (or in light of, quit)!:dubious:
I was once a hot teenage girl. My dad trusted me to make my own decisions. My dad trusted me to take care of myself.
Partly, I’m sure, because if he had tried any of that sht y’all are proudly boasting about, I probably would have (tried to) turn the same sht on him.
In other words: if he had threatened my boyfriends, or in any way indicated that my relationship with them was somehow subject to his control and not to mine, I would have been plenty, plenty angry.
(Things probably would have been different if I had ever needed my dad to come to my aid, which I didn’t. But his trust meant a whole lot more to me than his ‘protection’ would have.)
Huh? I don’t see anything in this thread that would frighten a prospective father. But as a 19 year old female, it sure scares the hell out of ME. It’s all got a very creepy Electra complex vibe to it…you know, you will get at my daughter’s vagina when you pry it out of my cold dead hand.
My daughter is 12. She’s a beautiful person and of course to me, she is beautiful looking. So is my son, for that matter. I hope that I am instilling in her a good sense of self-respect, and a sense of self-worth.
She’s pretty tough, always been a tom-boy. As for boys “checking her out”, I bought her a t-shirt that reads, " Keep staring, I might do a magic trick ". It fits her to a “t”, pardon the pun. ( I will add, that at 12 she is pretty much completely pre-pubescent, unlike some 12 year olds who look like young women, opposed to older girls ).
Men will look if they want to. However, she will look at men if she wants to ( or women, whatever ). If she has a healthy normal attraction to other adults of some gender or other, then yes she’ll oggle too. She’ll learn how to handle oggling, and not be crushed by either a plethora of it, or dearth of it.
For those who ascribe to the 8 Simple Rules theory, I laughed a lot at that book. I don’t agree with any of it. Threatening a boy with physical harm won’t do much for my daughter’s safety or relationship.
Teaching my daughter to chose boys who are kind and decent young men will. Teaching her how to be cautious and self-protective at social events and on dates will. ( Her 1st Don Black Belt in Korean Tae Kwon Do can’t hurt either, of course ). Arming her with the skills to hopefull negotiate hormones ( hers and others ) and romance is my job.
Threatening to beat the hell out of a young man is not my job. Besides, I’m a pacifist and can’t see myself threatening someone just because he’s taking my daughter to the movies.
). Arming her with the skills to hopefull negotiate hormones ( hers and others ) and romance is my job.