Question for drinkers (especially college age)

Do you ever purposely exclude your non-drinking friends when you all go to places or events where drinking is taking place?

Why? You think the person is prudish and you think you’ll be judged by them? You think the person is “uncool” and should be avoided? You think the person will be uninterested? Or something else?

I don’t invite my non-drinking friends to go to bars because I assume they won’t be interested in going to a bar and watching people drink while being talked to by people who are getting progressively drunker.

I’ve been the sober guy in that situation, and it’s no fun.

Non-drinking friends does not compute, so I guess the answer would be no.

So far, all of the drinking has been at my or my friends’ places. So everyone comes over, we pop in a movie, and those who want to partake, do, and those who don’t, don’t. No big deal, noone cares.

I don’t drink just to drink. I’ll drink at dinner or at a concert or a friend’s house. Sometimes one of us won’t drink, and it definitely isn’t a big deal. I’m younger than a lot of my friends, and I didn’t start drinking until I was twenty-one. I never considered it a problem hanging around them while they were drinking. It’s just as easy to order a coke or water as it is to get a beer.
-Lil

I am in a similar situation, except it is pot smoking. My company has taken a liking to random urinalysis testing. I like getting high, but I need my job more. I have no problem with anyone getting high around me. Initially, I was concerned about second hand smoke, but I was assured by the pee-man (who works for some pee-handling company) that second hand exposure would not affect the test. This was confirmed when they peed me. I have not been excluded from any friends.

What Ace309 said is accurate. Many drinkers assume that non-drinkers simply would not enjoy themselves at a bar, and for many non-drinkers, he would be correct.

When I was in college, my roomate pledged a serious party fraternity. I was offered to pledge, but I knew that partying would become more work and less fun, so I declined. However, one of the pledges, a friend of mine, did not drink, smoke, or do drugs. You would not have guessed it by his appearance, he had long hair and wore heavy-metal shirts, and preferred the company of partiers.
You posted:
“Why? You think the person is prudish and you think you’ll be judged by them? You think the person is “uncool” and should be avoided? You think the person will be uninterested? Or something else?”

I sense that you feel you have been excluded from events because of this. Do you wear you non-drinking like a chip on your shoulder? Do you have a “Sober and Proud of it Tee-shirt.?” Or maybe you are part of straight edge. As long as you do not make an issue about it, it will likely not be an issue.

My 2 cents, just go along. Don’t announce your drinking habits in advance. Only say it if someone challeges you. Most smart people will either figure it out or not even notice. Just quietly get a 7up instead (my 2nd favorite bar drink) and enjoy the company.

You can still get a good laugh at the drunk fratslob staggering to find a safe place to puke.

I’m married to my non-drinking friend so I if I’m drinking in a non-dinner sort of situation I try to make it something he’ll at least partially enjoy, like being in a casino, arcade, or a bar with a really great view or something. Every so often he’ll break down and we’ll go to a trendy club when we’re on vacation but it’s more the atmosphere he dislikes than the fact that he doesn’t drink. For example he doesn’t dance, doesn’t like techno music, etc. He tends to get bored very quickly once we’ve commented on the decor and criticized all the other patrons. :wink:

You should cherish your non-drinking friends though, because that way you’ll always have a designated driver. You might consider buying their drinks as a thank-you and a perk.

All the merrier, especially if I trust that person with my car keys.

No, I don’t exclude non-drinkers from social activities with alcohol. I need someone to drive me home.

voguevixen - your significant other sounds a lot like me :slight_smile:

no.
i have friends who don’t drink because they’re pregnant, friends who don’t drink because they’re medicated, friends who don’t drink because they’re buddhist, muslim, christian or something else.

the invitation to the pub is open to all who wish to come.
likewise, a dinner invitation to my place usually has a BYOB thingy…and if their bottle happens to be full of apple juice, what do i care.

they’re my FRIENDS, i respect their choices, and expect the arrangement to be reciprocated.

My friends call me the “Non-Alcoholic” and have enjoyed both my sobriety in the face of their drunken conversations, and the safe drive home as they doze in the back seat. We still go out sometimes as a group, they drink, I don’t. No problem. But w are 30-36 years old, not college age.

I only have one friend who doesn’t drink, and when he came to visit Austin I didn’t have a problem inviting him to join a regular group of friends that meet up Mondays for drinks. The real draw is the conversation in that case, so it didn’t matter that he was drinking Coke while the rest of us were having drinks.

The way it usually works is, I’ll invite everyone several times, and then stop inviting the people who decline every time. Those are usually the non-drinkers. Its not because I worry about their opinion but because I get bored with asking.