Is the term “lesbos” offensive to you?
I’d noticed the term on ( ::: shocked gasps of awe from the audience ::: ) various porn sites and didn’t think much of it. But this past week I heard it used by a local talk show host who claims to be a big supporter of both women and gay rights. Hearing him use it made me think harder about it and to me it just sounds disrepectful. Is this a word that you hate hearing? Don’t even think about it? What’s your feeling?
IANAL, but I always thought the term lesbo was meant to be derogatory. Of course, I always thought the term dyke was derogatory, too, but one of our lesbian friends uses it.
I’ll try to remember to ask my friend tomoprrow at work. She’ll just be getting back from a week off with her lover, so she’ll either be on cloud nine or ready to kill.
That’s alright, I type with one finger anyway. 
I don’t like the way it sound’s, but that may be because of the way I’ve heard it used. And by whom.
Peace,
mangeorge
Its only offensive if spoken by a non-lesbian
I don’t know that I’ve ever heard anybody say ‘lesbo’ and not mean it to be derrogatory. OTOH, I think ‘dyke’ is sort of like the ‘n’ word, like Incubus said. My lesbian housemate has all kinds of various works of lesbian pulp fiction lying around, and on the backs of the books, the word ‘dyke’ appears at least 5 times. I’m assuming that it wouldn’t be there if it was considered offensive. I do not recall any of them having the word ‘lesbo’ displayed prominently, however, if that’s telling at all.
In my opinion, “lesbo” or “lesbos” is derogatory (except that “lesbos” really is the name of the island and may be used for that purpose). I have no objection to “dyke”.
I use “dyke” sometimes with my lesbian friends (I’m a straight male, BTW) though typically I’d just say “lesbian”, but I’d hesitate to use “dyke” with a lesbian I didn’t know. “Lesbo” sounds offensive to me because it feels like it’s straight out of a teen/frat boy movie.
In Australia, “lezzo” is used sometimes, though maybe not as much these days. There is a stand-up comic here who says, “I’m not a ‘homosexual’, or a ‘gay woman’. Stuff that, I’m a BIG OL’ LEZZO”. Once again though, I think that word also fits into the “only ok if used with caution” category.
I’m with TheLoadedDog. It’s a term that Stifler would use.
Although it really loses its smelliness if sandwiched between the terms “hot” and “action”. Then it’s just luscious.
I don’t believe I’ve ever heard a Real, Live Lesbian ever use the term “lesbo”, except possibly when making fun of either 1) cheap, exploitative porn or 2) particularly dimwitted adolescents.
Remember, by themselves words have no emotion, its only the hateful jackass using them that make them ‘bad’. I have a black friend who I use ‘nigger’ with (usually in the more interesting version of ‘niggah’), as well as ‘dyke’ and ‘lesbo’ with my wifes best friend (who is a lesbian).
Rob: He who is not a hateful jackass.
If I was a lesbian, I’m sure if I would find “lesbo” offensive, especially if used by a straight person, it’s just such a high-school type of label.
I think lesbians can call each other what they like but why can’t straight people just show a bit of respect and use ‘lesbian’:rolleyes:
I think the word has been used in a lot of derogatory or mindless/pulp sort of ways and is generally to be avoided.
Totally high-school. I use it only sarcastically, in the same way as high-school girls used to use it when I was one, as in for example, having passed somone on the street, I might whisper to mrsIteki “Betcha shes a big lesbo!” or even better, for the true cringe enducing, “lezzer”.
Like any non-standard term for a group, don’t use it unless you know who you are using it with. And for gods sakes please, don’t try to be cool-hip-and-in and use such words in front of strangers, it’s incredibly embarassing 
Yer buddy might happily let you call her a dyke, but if you go out for a drink with her and 3 other friends, and happily start talking about “blahblah dykes blahblah” without having tested the waters, you are going to come across as a wannabe-prat 
(Obviously not wannabe-lesbian, but “wannabe-so-cool-liberal-and-down-with-the-homos-that-they-let-me-say-dyke”)
I’m with Iteki on this… I don’t find it offensive, but oh it is so LAME!
It’s like the loser using it is so a) unimaginative, b) rednecked and c) naive that it’s the only word that springs into their brain!
Random loser: “hyuk hyuk, you lesbo, hyuk hyuk”
Max: “Oh, you pathetic loser, that’s DYKE with a capital D!” gives him the finger
Max
IIRC, “dyke” was offensive until the gals reclaimed it for themselves. Which was accomplished with great success (you mainly hear it used proudly nowadays rather than used in a derogatory manner), but there must be limits on how much energy any group wants to put into reclaiming intentionally derogatory labels from the intentionally offensive folk.
I think the re-taking of terms like that is a very cool thing. As some of our more intelligent comedians have pointed out, the word itself is not offensive - a word is just a collection of sounds. The intent behind the word is what makes the difference (for most people). If you can take a word that used to be exclusively hurtful, i.e. nigger or dyke - some feminists now want to do this with the word ‘cunt’ - and make it a term of affection or humor, I think you enormously sap the ability of a prejudiced person to use it against you.
I’m with the majority on this one. It can be an offensive word, if used derogatorily. But all-in-all, it is a juvenile word.
That being said, a talk show host using the word is extremely inappropriate, IMO. Even if he is a supporter of the GLBT Community, it is still an unprofessional word to use. Especially on a talk show that, I’m assuming, is seen by millions.
As Iteki pointed out, if you know that the individual, or small group of people, you are communicating with do not find the tem offensive or inappropriate, then it is fine to use it. But a talk show host should be much more professional than to use the term “lesbos,” I would think.
why is it some groups can call themselves derogatory names and its ok, but if someone outside their group calls them that it is 1)discrimination, 2)ignorance, 3)hateful, or 4)someotherkindofwrongness
i’m a stupid ole redneck and anyone is welcome to call/refer to me as such, i know who i am and am not ashamed nor offended when i am called what i am, even if it a slang derivative of my actual identity intended to inflict some injury.
or maybe i’m wrong…
I’d say intent is important, and it’s also important to realize that it’s not “some groups,” it’s certain people within those groups. Not all black people use ‘nigger’ the way we’re talking about, a lot (I’d say most) people still find it to be incredibly insulting and won’t appreciate it, period. Some people won’t care, but Jesse Jackson wouldn’t tolerate it. Same goes for pretty much any other term with its respective group.
mispeler, read my post above, and that of Marley23. The groups calling themselves derogatory names are trying to retake those names.
As Marley says, it saps the ability of the prejudiced to hurl it against you. But more often than not, it’s an action still in process (the words would not impinge on your consciousness as derogatory if they’d been fully successful). Everyone is welcome to call us American folks “yanks” or “yankees” – the only people likely to be offended will be residents of the Old South, and not for reasons that have anything to do with the originally derogatory nature of the epithet “yankee”. But I would not suggest calling random women in your office “cunt” just yet, because the battle for connotation of “cunt” has only just begun.