Question for managers (too long, sorry)

In My Humble Opinion
1

I’d appreciate the opinion of people who manage others on how they would handle this situation, or anyone else who wants to chime in.

I manage a project for an NGO in the Aceh province of Indonesia. We have staff from Aceh, from other parts of Indonesia, and expats from a variety of other countries.

We maintain three gueshouses where people from outside of Aceh live; two houses for men and one house for women. Because of sharia law, it is impossible to mix men and women in the same house. I’m a guy, which limits my exposure to the women’s house.

In the women’s house, there is a conflict between some of the internationals and the Indonesians. We have housekeepers during the day and some of the national staff leave their dishes in the sink so that the housekeeper gets it in the morning (we do the same thing at the men’s house I live in). Some of the international staff want people to do the dishes so they don’t sit out overnight.

As the boss, the internationals have come to me to complain about the nationals. My feeling is that it would be better if the women in the house sat down and talked about it amongst themselves. I feel that adults should be able to work it out. I also feel that we are talking about behavior that goes on after work and that it would be better if the boss does not intrude into after work hours.

I don’t feel comfortable telling people to flush their toilets, wash their dishes, or say their prayers. I’m their boss, not their daddy. I also feel that the internationals are going behind the locals back to talk to me, their boss, about behavior that I really don’t want to know about (they’ve also tattled about ‘moral’ behavior of staffers).

If the problem continues, I will have to facilitate a meeting, but I’ve made it clear that I don’t see this as an optimal solution. If I do have the meeting I will write up a memo where people are told to clean up after themselves (meaning the nationals), but I will also tell people to communicate directly with one another (the expats). I will also make it clear that I am not running a monastic order and have no intention of enforcing Sharia law.

What do people think? Am I being Michael from the Office in dodging this issue, or should adults be able to work this kind of thing out for themselves?

2

I don’t see it as dodging the issue - you’re asking them to attempt to resolve it amongst themselves before involving you, which is a good thing.

It’s good to see a manager wanting to treat adults like adults.

3

I agree. This is something non-work related that you should encourage them to resolve themselves. You’re management, yes, but that doesn’t mean you have to manage every aspect of their time, does it?

4

I’d suggest they try to work it out for themselves, they’re adults and they should be capable of doing that kind of simple resolution without having to be told what to do.

5

Thanks all. It was one of those “am I crazy” moments where it made sense in my head, but the reaction of the other people made me doubt myself. It’s weird situation when people live together in a property rented by the organization, the lines between work and nonwork blur a lot, which is great because it makes every meal a meeting and everyone has to opportunity to complain to me all day and every day about every little thing.

6

Are these people five? I can’t imagine a scenario where I would want to involve my boss in a personal dispute on whether dishes should be washed at night or in the morning. It isn’t even an issue of people not cleaning up after themselves but of leaving dishes for the housekeepers. If I were you, I would tell them that they need to resolve this themselves as grown ups.

7

Having held management roles in the past, I can assure you that yes, this is EXACTLY the sort of thing that people go to managers about. Unfortunately.

8

Hmmm…I smell a new reality show brewing! “Aceh House”

9

Exactamundo. Also, sandra_nz is right that, unfortunately, this is exactly the type of thing that some people will run to a manger for.

10

Could some amount of housekeeping service be provided in the evening?

From my experience in HR, where people also like to dump these issues, as a manager you are fine to tell these people they need to try to work it out themselves. However, if they try and are unsuccessful and it hurts productivity, ultimately you do need to deal with it. And if you take the road of telling people to do the dishes (both men and women, I presume?) you are assigning work. If people are paid hourly that might be a consideration. You probably already know that a good question to ask each side in something like this is “What do you want me to do?” Then work out what you can and can’t do relative to each side’s position. Good luck.

11

I think your plan sounds good. It is not “avoiding a problem” to make clear your expectations that people handle interpersonal, roommate-type issues themselves, like adults. That’s addressing the problem; not avoiding it, so long as your expectations are clear.

12

The best way to tell it to them would be to establish that either they can have you micromanaging their lives, or enjoy their freedom and resolve it amongst themsleves. Offer a compromise of at least rinsing the dishes to get the food off. Also, are the ladies that clean the ones complaining? If so, then it becomes your problem, as they are technically working for YOU to clean THEIR housing. If they have no problems with it, then stay out of the situation.

Also, ethnics will also be against the internationals by default on many issues. It’s the nature of the beast, and why they must continue to work together. I’m sure the internationals want to do different things that the ethnics find preposterous as well. It’s not your job to regulate them. Your job is to keep them productive. Let them sort out the petty shit.

13

There is not any money for evening housekeeping and even if there were, I wouldn’t allow such an expense. The issue is not a problem in the men’s guesthouse because we leave the dishes in the sink for the housekeeper in the morning and everyone is okay with that. We also have a couple of cats that sneak into the kitchen at night and eat our leftovers out of the sink and it works for us (the men and the cats).

Fortunately, none of the men are particularly clean so we just don’t sweat this kind of stuff. At the women’s house, the internationals clearly want the Boss to tell the locals to do everything the internationals say and I’m just not going to do it. If it persists, I will facilitate a house meeting, but I think the internationals will be surprised that it won’t just be “do what the white people say.”

14

Are these women from countries where dishwasher machines are more common than housekeepers? If so, perhaps if you frame it in terms of respecting local custom, these ladies will back off on the dish issue. Its easier to say that three or four women are in the wrong, but a lot harder to say that about an entire country. That, and I think you should tell them to enjoy their wonderful housekeeper while they have one.

15

“Wonderful housekeeper” might be a stretch. We had a typhoid outbreak in our office and every single one of them tested positive as well as all the cooks.

The expat women are all people who have worked overseas before, they know the drill, but an unhealthy dynamic is developing in that house. Makes me wish I was back in Baghdad, there is nothing like a staff beheading to get people to STFU.

16

I’m thinking of having a sampler made of this and hanging it over my desk – but then all the other managers would want one too …