Thank you for writing that better than I would have.
And seconding it.
Somewhere back in college these many years ago I noticed that the people with curly hair were trying to straighten it, and the people with straight hair were trying to curl it. I decided to let my hair do what it damned well pleased. That decision has massively simplified my life. My hair is nearly as stubborn as I am.
These days I clip it back (or up, in hot weather) during the day to keep it out of the way, but I unclip it at night. It brushes out without too much trouble in the morning, despite the cat who likes to wrap himself around my head and knead in my hair. Ouch!
sigh. My thick blond hair (with few tangles after a night’s sleep) has disappeared as I reach my 70’s. Instead I now have a mass of grayish blond (terrible color - be one thing or the other!) that is thin and breaks easily. It used to go to my back, but now hovers around my shoulders. I now use Unite Detangler because it’s as if I have bubblegum stick in my hair. I’m half afraid that I will become like those fully-tangled dogs you can find in some grooming videos. When I’ve tried tying it up, I tend to lose even more hair. I should just cut it short, but I’m a bit defiant about having long(ish) hair.
I’ve had my hair seven or eight inches below my shoulders twice – when I was nineteen, and again when I was 67 (that covid thing, y’know). I just raked my fingers through my hair a few times when I got out of bed, and occasionally had to cut a snarl out of it, but that was all it needed.
My hair is not as long as it used to be, and it’s never been more than a few inches past my shoulders. (I’m just a short-haired human. I’m jealous of my Asian friends who can grow their hair down to their butt, although i wouldn’t want it so long that i sat on it.) But i think it’s still “long” by the OP’s definition.
Anyway, my hair is never movie-ready. But it’s not terrible when i wake up. I run a brush thought it and tie it back in a rubber thing during the day, or sometimes with a hair clip. (But as it gets thinner, it’s harder to keep the hair clip in place.) I can make it look presentable by just running my fingers through it, but brushing feels better. I always untie my hair at night. I also remove any rings, watches, and etc. before going to sleep.
I sleep on smooth cotton sheets. I hate flannel. My flannel PJs stick to it. And i wonder if it would leave my hair a mess, but i don’t know for sure.
My husband also has long hair and does about the same as i do.
I’m a guy who has typically kept my hair pretty short for most of my life. I have very thick, very straight hair that would look good if grown out long (I have a class pic from 3rd grade with shoulder-length hair, and I look like a baby rock star). But the very few times I have tried to let it grow out it gets wildly unruly in that ‘middle length’ stage. During the Covid lockdown I didn’t get a haircut for the better part of a year, and I got very tired of looking like the infamous Nick Nolte mugshot every morning upon waking.
Not to mention, all day long my hair would be flopping into my face, covering my eyes, and I’d have to flip the hair back constantly. I started to notice how many people on TV and in movies, women and men alike, have long floppy hair and constantly do this. Think Keanu Reeves in the John Wick movies-- all that hair in the face had to be mad distracting in the middle of a gunfight. So I gained a new appreciation for what people with long hair have to go through to maintain and just deal with it, and I was extremely relieved when I finally got my lockdown hair cut.
I recently had my long hair cut to shoulder length. I was bored of it looking the same way every day for the last seven (?) years. And boy, did I get my wish! I now have to use product, a blow dryer, styling tools, hairclips, etc. I don’t regret the chop, but for women at least, it’s definitely a lot more work to make short hair presentable.
When I had shoulder-blade length hair, I wore it loose at night. It just took a minute or so for me to brush and comb it the next morning and then pull it back. (My hair is thick and wavy.)
Yeah, either hair long enough to tie back or braid, or short enough to stay out of your eyes, is easier to deal with than hair anywhere in the middle. But the short hair you need to keep cutting.
I like it long enough to stay out of my eyes. I’ve never tried really short hair. I’m sure that would work, too, but there’s a lot of maintenance keeping it short. I haven’t had my hair professionally cut since i was married. I’ve trimmed scraggly ends myself once or thrice since then, but it’s not something that needs to be done.
Yeah, like I said if if I was to grow my hair ‘rock star long’ it would probably be fine; it’s that ‘middle length’ zone that is annoying and hard to deal with.
But a lot of people in the entertainment biz have that kind of medium-length floppy hair with locks of it always flopping in front of their eyes. Looks cute to an observer - very annoying (for me, at least) to experience.
I have come to an agreement with my hair over the years- I don’t bother it too much and it doesn’t bother me too much.
My hair is wavy, almost long enough that I could sit on the ends should I so wish, and I have a lot of it. I’ve only cut it once since I was a kid. I tie it back when I’m cooking or doing anything that specifically requires no hair involvement, but otherwise it’s just loose all the time.
I do need to brush the tangles out once a day or it becomes a major task, but it normally looks fine when I wake up- I’ve genuinely had strangers tell me my hair looks great when I literally woke up and ran out to the shop to grab some milk and I haven’t washed it in a week.
It’s the only bit of me that could possibly have a Hollywood career, but it could maybe give it a shot.
My shoulder-blade length hair is straight and fine, but my experience of wearing it loose to sleep is similar to yours. Not a problem.
I do brush it the textbook 60 strokes a night (upside down) and wash it only a couple a times a week, and never use any dyes or products. (Nothing against them, I just don’t want the hassle of applying them on a maintenance schedule.) Not sure whether any of that affects nighttime tangle resistance in any way.
I’ve always said something like that, but with a little more elegance: my hair needs to be short enough to stay out of my face when I read, or long enough to be kept off my face with a pony tail when I read.
As to sleep - I should be so lucky as to have hair that got messed up by anything. In practice, it is so fine and so straight that it just lays there, no matter what I do to it and even when it’s quite long - hmm, ESPECIALLY when it’s long.
My wife has worn her hair long (typically four or five inches past her shoulders) at various times in her life. It was that long when we were dating, and first got married, but she had it cut shorter in her late 30s, because she was tired of how much work it was to maintain. She then let it get long during COVID, and has just left it that way.
She puts it into a ponytail elastic/scrunchie when she goes to bed, mostly to keep it out of the way. But, she’d tell you that it’d need significant brushing (if not a full shampoo) when she gets up, to make it look presentable for the public.
