Question for the guys: Someone from the past contacts you....

Inspired by Question for the ladies: someone from the past contacts you... - In My Humble Opinion - Straight Dope Message Board

What would your thoughts be if a female acquaintance from days gone by contacted you? I’ll share mine, because this just happened to me and it actually didn’t go well.

A while back, I put an entry up on Classmates.com (I was bored, okay?) and a week or two later, I get an email from a girl that I knew my senior year in high school. We were in a class together and we dated a couple of times, but no big deal. I hadn’t thought about her in 40+ years.

We exchanged emails and got caught up on each others lives. Very nice, very friendly. We stayed in touch with the occasional email for a time. Then I put up a page on Facebook. Lo and behold, she contacts me again and sends me a friend request which I gladly grant. After all, I thought this was cool - a voice from the past and all that.

A couple of weeks ago, I made a comment on Facebook about how I thought Obamacare was bad legislation. She posted a remark that I hadn’t changed a bit since high school. That made me wonder, because I have. I was very liberal at that time in my life. I then recently posted about seeing the Bold & Fresh tour with Beck and O’Reilly and that I thought it was outstanding. I get the same comment, and this time I point out the changes.

Ka-boom. It ends with her basically kicking me to the curb after she called me an uncaring rightwinger and I corrected her, pointing out that I am conservative, not a rightwinger and that there is a difference. She also said how much she didn’t like me in high school, thought I was a jerk back then, etc., and then unfriended me.

Which left me scratching my head and wondering why the hell she contacted me in the first place. One of life’s great unsolved mysteries, I guess.

Hee. An ex-acquaintance contacting me to tell me she never had liked me and I was still a jerk would be about par for the course. :smiley:

“Someone from the past” is awfully vague. Are we talking about ex-girlfriends only, or anyone? When I signed up for Facebook, I heard from a lot of people that I haven’t seen in many years. Mostly cousins, but some old Internet friends and a couple of recent romantic partners.

My response to all of them is basically the same – “Hey waddup?”

I don’t do much Facebooking, though, so I haven’t had many discussions via that medium. The ones I care about have my e-mail address anyway.

This happened to me at the turn of the century. I thought it was sweet and we got together, but she turned out to be very insecure and possessive. We ended more than once, but after a few tries I realized it was never going to work and ended it for good in 2001.

Had this happen just last year with me. Girlfriend from high school friended me on facebook. After some preliminary catching up, she made it clear she wouldn’t object to us … how should I say … finishing up old business.

But when I made it clear that that would only happen if my girlfriend could play, too, she got all persnickety.

Now we’re on about a once-a-month email “So, what’s up with you?” routine.

Why is this question divided by gender?

My best friend from the late 80’s and early 90’s and I got back together after shoot, 15 years. Well, we’ve had lunch a couple of times. It’s very interesting how our lives have taken a parallel course. She’s sort of my doppelganger.

(Well, Alpine who posts on this board is my doppelganger too)

I knew she worked in the next county, and I had business there (we both work for county gov). I gave her a call to let her know, and now we try to have lunch a couple times a year. It’s nice.

I’ve contacted/been contacted by people from my past. Always ends up with a few email exchanges, maybe a facebook friend. Doesn’t really have much impact.

In the unlikely event of an old GF contacting me, I’d reply; if they wanted to be a facebook friend, I might accept. Really not sure about that, though.

I have an ex-GF (from college days) as a friend on FB. We’re both married and live in different states, and it was a long time ago, so it hasn’t been awkward.

Not a mystery. She wants your penis.

I’ve had several female acquaintances from my past get in touch with me via Facebook. Even met up with a couple of ladies from my elementary school (it had been a little more than 20 years since we’d last spoken) for dinner a couple of months ago. All of it has been pleasant or, at worst, neutral.

To my knowledge, no one was looking for a hook-up, and I haven’t encountered any awkwardness.

Because he wanted it that way?

Just recently I had a friend request on facebook from someone I didn’t recognize, but her profile said that she had gone to my high school in the same year, so I assumed it was a classmate. I knew several girls with her first name, so I sent her a polite message that said, “Sorry I don’t recognize your name - is that your married name? What was your maiden name?”

The person never responded to my message, and never contacted me again. I have no idea why. Unless that was her real maiden name, and I’ve simply forgotten her, and she’s now offended.

Sorry, that’s about as good a story as I’ve got. I’m very leery of Facebook, or Classmates, or other sites that promise to reconnect me to my past. I’m still friends with the people from high school who really mattered to me, and really don’t have any desire to dredge up relationships with the ones who didn’t. I suspect the odds of something good coming out of these old contacts are about the same as it all going horribly wrong, and I don’t need that extra stress in my life.

Mmmm…I don’t think so. She didn’t back then, why would she change her mind after 45 years? :smiley:

Well you can’t blame her. Just about anyone would be disappointed to find out someone they used to know turned into a Republican. I’ve felt the same way about some people I knew in high school, all of a sudden I find them on Facebook and realize they are gigantic rednecks. Ick.

No! She did back then and she does now. You’re just blind to it. I hate to paint with a broad brush but when you can espouse such emotion from a woman; the sexual tension/desire is right their.

My personal experience, YMMV.

Stuffed.

On her mantel.

You know, like a hunting trophy.

Man, it’s really hard to avoid the double entendre here, isn’t it? :wink:

Probably because in our society men & women on average react very differently to unsolicited approaches by persons of the opposite sex. We’ve had threads out the wazoo on these differences.

Whether you or I would prefer that these differences existed is one thing, but I think it’s pretty clear to all of us that they do exist.

Also there is a parallel thread out there right now for women.

I don’t think the example in the OP has much to do with getting contacted by someone from the past and feel it could be merged with any one of the many “politics on Facebook get ugly” threads.

Since I’m not a guy, I’ll leave now.

Happened to me in 2002 via Classmates - she actually subscribed to find me. Guess I was worth $36/year :wink:

We are now happily married.