One should not use a social occasion as a means to raise money, no matter how worthy the cause might be. Period. It doesn’t matter if the couple wanted a fancier honeymoon than they could afford, or if they wanted a public display of piety, they should not have announced that they were going to convert the gifts back to cash. Nor should they have indicated, in any way, that they wished to raise cash for their pet cause. The only exception to this would be if someone asked, then the bride or groom or close relative could have said “We really don’t want anything for ourselves, but we want to help out this Cause as much as possible.”
I also have to say that it sounds like the relative of the coworker was just interested in getting as many presents as possible. Personally, I feel that the only guests at a wedding should be those who would actually be hurt if they were left out, that is, close family and friends.
The proper response, in my mind, would be to walk out of the wedding reception with your nicely wrapped, painstakingly chosen gift, and head to the nearest store. Pick up a copy of the New Testament–or, Hell, splurge on the complete Bible, Old and New Testament–a bookmark and a highlighter. Highlight Matthew 6:1-4, stick the bookmark in to mark the page, then return to the reception and leave the unwrapped Bible on the gift table.
Good grief, I’ve heard a few wedding ettiquette disaster stories in my time - and this one is right up there!
Thing is, as well as the rudeness, there’s really no logic to it. When someone gives you a gift, unless they’ve put a shop voucher in it, you can’t return it to the shop for a refund, so the only way to sell the items is to sell them as ‘second-hand’, in which case you’ll only get a fraction of the value for them.
I’m surprised that they didn’t accordingly follow the reception dinner with an ‘auction’ where guests were expected to buy back their gifts!!!
I agree with the above posters that it’s tacky. But I wonder why they didn’t just cancel the wedding, get married at city hall and use what they’d have spent on the ceremony and reception on the Bibles?
Sweet merciful crap! I’d have taken my gift back. That’s just plain rude, to allow someone to go to the trouble of picking out a gift (dear Lord if you say they were registered!) when they only intended to sell it. Surely not at a loss? Do they plan on having a charitable auction with the goods? Which I suppose is better than taking a loss, but still very sneaky.
Why the hell didn’t they just ask people to make cash donations in the first place?
The tactful thing would have been to ask for donations and select a diverse variety of charities.
Essentially they’ve duped their guests into financing their missionary position! (sorry couldn’t resist)
Maybe it’s the cynic in me, but I agree with even sven. If they did what you suggest, they wouldn’t have the opportunity to both have the wedding they wanted AND be publicly pious. This way it’s a win-win for them.
My goodness! They ought to have accepted the gifts in the spirit in which they were intended. People put much thought and time into choosing a nice gift and the couple should be gracious about that. If they choose to quietly sell or donate or regift them later is their business, but announcing that as their intention is unbelievably crass.