Another dad here.
If you do end up with a c-section, don’t freak out. My wife has had two, and the surguries went fine. Recovery is a little longer, but it’s manageable. Easy for me to say.
The dad (or coach, partner, whatever) can still be in the room with you. I strongly suggest that he not actually watch the operation. I hid under a sheet last time. During the first c-section, the ansthesiologist (sp?) told me to stand up if I wanted to see the baby being born. I stood up and saw Christopher come out. Anything else I might have seen (my wife’s insides on the outsides, etc.) disappeared. I have no memory of those things.
The most recent c-section (May 27, 2003), the doctor did not tell me to stand. However, she did indicate to me what was happening. I will describe why in a moment.
The strangest thing about both experiences was that my wife was wide awake and coherent. This was especially true the first time. She was undergoing major surgury, yet I could talk to her normally. It was a very surreal experience.
—Warning: Sad story following —
The most recent c-section was different because the baby was stillborn at 38 weeks. We knew Hayden had died before the operation began. Therefore, the mood was decidedly less cheerful. The doctor described what she was doing and reassured my wife that she (my wife) was perfectly fine. The baby presented with no symptoms of trauma, or any other problem. The demise was probably caused by pre-eclampsia. Four days later, my wife had an eclamptic seizure and we nearly lost her, too. She is fine, now, though the emotional healing is still rough on all of us.
My point: Pay attention to your body. Don’t scare yourself to death, but do become educated on what things may feel like if they start to go bad. Ask questions. Get answers. NEVER, EVER miss a doctor’s appointment. We missed the last appointment and we will regret that for the rest of our lives.
Good luck. Childbirth from the daddy’s point of view is an amazing experience. Somehow, you get the strength to get through anything.