Do you really need me to explain it? (And wouldn’t you be thrilled to think that, say, Benny Hill was a Doper in spirit?)
Is this where I cue up “Yakety Sax”?
Wouldn’t “Monkey Man” be more appropriate?
Is there like a Doper theme song?
Are you looking for nominations? How about “We Are The Champions,” or has that been overplayed?
Wouldn’t “My Way” be better?
Or “Livin’ on a Prayer”?
Or ‘Loser’ by Beck?
Who would be on board with hiring Mayim Bialik to write an original song?
Are her skills as a songwriter notable?
Do we really need someone who has notable songwriting skills?
I want a great sounding Doper theme song, don’t you?
Who would you suggest, then?
You think we could coax Bob Dylan into writing one for us?
Well, I mean, why wouldn’t he?
Would you have your people call his people, please?
And while your people are working on that could you be a lamb and freshen up my drink?
How are my people going to call anyone when most of the time they can’t find their phones? And not that I’m against freshening up your drink, but how would one do it like a lamb?
Wouldn’t the lack of opposable thumbs make it difficult for a lamb to perform even the most rudimentary of bartending duties?
Aren’t sheep - lambs in particular - well known for freshening up drinks?