Well, why would they hire me to find stuff they already have?
It’s a smokescreen?
Pish-tush, can’t the Pepperdrones’ Hyperultrasuperscan ™ penetrate even the densest of smoke banks?
How many banks have you knocked over so far?
None. Don’t you know the Pepperwinkles have always been on the side of Truth, Justice and the American Way?
Doesn’t Wall Street claim that too?
Since when do we pay mind to Wall Street?
Since they became corrupt and greedy…oh wait, they’ve always been like that, haven’t they?
Wasn’t it founded by 99 Luft Walloons?
Can you trust any agreements signed under the Buttonwood tree?
Did you know that the autograph of Button Gwinnett, second signer of the Declaration of Independence, is worth millions of dollars?
How do you tell a real one from a fake?
Did the Pepperdrones show each of us practicing our best Button Gwinnett signature?
Vita, do you know you’re crossing the T’s incorrectly?
Do you see that each set of T’s are crossed in an artistically different manner?
But do you see that isn’t consistent with Button Gwinnett’s holograph?
Must you dissuade me from my lucrative new career in forgery?
That wouldn’t be necessary if you decided to fake Rembrandts instead of dead signers-of-the-Declaration, would it?
Are you aware that all of Rembrandt’s works are known, accounted for, and have extensive paperwork documenting their history?
Now you cast doubt upon my abilities to reproduce both the paintings and the paperwork?