Doesn’t Tony Bennett have a 20-megaton singing voice?
Is that why he sang If I Ruled The World?
How many megatons are required to fly me to the moon?
I’d say just sixteen tons, but what do you get?
Halfway To Paradise?
Are you on the road again, Professor?
Is the life you love making music with your friends, goin’ places that you’ve never been, seein’ things that you may never see again?
Can’t I just stay home?
Can you show me the way to go home?
I 'unno, Willie?
Didn’t he say he was tired and he wanted to go to bed?
Well, didn’t he have a little drink about an hour ago?
Would that make him a drunk or a lucky man?
Haven’t I been drunk from the beginning?
Oh, is that you face-down on the floor?
Can’t you see I’m clutching the floor for dear life so I don’t fall off the Earth? 
Were you talking to God on the Big White Porcelain Phone?
You’re trying to steer the conversation back to “shit” puns, aren’t you? 
Hey, can’t you tell I’m a LADY who never says shit?
Don’t we meander back to the manure topics readily enough?