Why are we doing this?
How else can we let our inner elf out?
Have you been making a hobbit of it?
I swing both ways, elf one day, human the next…to and frodo, capiche?
Have you ever changed the pattern, and been whichever the mood Took you?
Is it true that dwarves can’t buy alcohol because bars don’t serve miners?
Do halflings buy alcohol by the hobbiton?
Do orcs drink alcohol, or would they rather smoke marijuana and get Uruk-Hai?
Did you hear about the one about the elf who walked into a bar, and the hobbit laughed and walked under it?
Are you shire about that, 'cause I heard he eventually came to a bad ent?
Well, isn’t that just precioussss?
If you had a gollum of phosphorescent paint would it be gloin in the dark?
Did Shelob a grenade at you?
What the Samwise Gamgee Hill is going on here now?
All I can add is…did you ever eat at The Hobbit in Houston?
Are you recommending the Hobbit’s Withy Windle?
When someone asked Clouseau what an entomologist studies, what was his reply?
Dead ant! Dead ant! Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant?
Don’t you mean, “Ents”?
My answer was perfect, absolutely correct and the only acceptable response - are you clear on that now?