Questions that make you go "huh?"

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Has you ever come off as an idiot because you couldn’t answer a question, when in fact the question itself made no sense? Share!

My contribution:

Me: I play guitar.
Dumbass kid: What kind of guitar?
Me: Lead, rhythm, whatever.
DAK: Do you play basic guitar?
Me: Wha?
DAK: Basic guitar. Do you play it?
Me: Uh… Do you mean bass guitar?
DAK: No, not bass. Basic.
Me: I don’t know what that is.
DAK: You must not be very good then.

That was decades ago. I still have no idea what he was talking about.

2

I was made to look computer-stupid once. I was sorting out a friend’s computer (she was female and I was attracted to her so I had to seem like I knew what I was doing, which I was). Someone else was also trying to fix it. He asked me the question…

“Have you checked the eye en eye file?”

“The what?”

“The eye en eye file”

“Er, what’s an eye en eye file?”

After he showed me the file…

“Ohhhh the inny file!”

(windows.ini and system.ini)

3

Errr . . . so do you also call executables “exie files”? (notepad.exe etc.)

(Is “inny files” what true geeks call them? I’ve always called them “eye en eye files” in my head; never heard it pronounced as far as I can recall.)

4

I called them eye en eye files, too, until I got into IT and was quickly set aright. But I still can’t bring myself to say “exxie”. It’s either E-X-E or executable.

5

There’s nothing wrong with ‘eye en eye’, it just threw me at the time. It didn’t ‘click’ that he was abreviating. I thought he was saying an actual word, like eyeneye.
And yes, I do say ‘exxie’ or ‘exy’.

But I never say ‘skuzzy’

6

I always thought of them as X (“eks”) files. But then again, I’m a Mac user.

7

Oddly I was under the impression it was fairly universal to refer to them as “exec” files. Don’t know why I thought that.

8

They’ve always been “ecks-ee” to me.

9

I’ve always called them “I-N-I” and “E-X-E” files, and I **am ** a true geek.
Or so I’ve been told.

10

Back in Biloxi, I stopped at this pretentious little sandwich shop for lunch.

Me: “I’d like that sandwich and an iced Chai.”
Cashier: “Hot or iced?”
Me: “…an iced Chai.”
Cashier: “Hot or iced?”
Me: “…Iced.”

I don’t know if the girl was trying to be clever or successfully being stupid.

11

The one that our parish secretary (and I imagine every other Catholic parish secretary in the world) gets every year at Christmas:

What time is midnight mass?

I assume the questioner actually means to ask - is there a mass at midnight?

12

My sister is a constant source of amusement. She has actually asked “how long is a 12” ruler?" and “I know Thanksgiving is sometime this weekend but what day is it on?”

She had always wanted a Honda CRX so she decided to call adverts for used ones. During the conversation with one seller, she asked the question “have you had it since you got it?”

My poor sis. :smiley:

13

Nice.

Before the days of caller ID my ex-girlfriends mother once told her “you don’t have to answer the phone… unless I’m calling”

14

Ha, my sister got a flat tire. Being a newly licensed teen, she wasn’t too sure about what to do (although my father had discussed it with her) so she drove home, which wasn’t too far. She went into the house and told Dad what had happened, and my father asked if the tire was completely flat.

Her response? (I swear it’s true.)

“Only on the bottom.”

And she was not joking.

I think I’m gonna call her up and harass her about that some more :wink:

15

I’m the front desk person in my office. People constantly ask me “Do you have a bathroom.” What do they think, I hold it for eight hours? Sometimes I say “no” just to see their reactions.

Well, the DMV right across the street has very nice bathrooms.

16

Catsmeow your sis reminds me of a question I asked once…

“Halal. Is that where the animal has to be alive before they kill it?”

17

You should have told her to just spin the tire until the falt part was on top.

18

I had a friend in my hometown who I kept around solely for the entertainment value. Well, I say that now because she’s an ex-friend who mooched off of me for years, and I owed her for a phone bill, then I paid her the money it a month before it was due (I came into some unexpected cash, so paid my bills. Easy.) The next month came up, and she began writing me harrassing letters/e-mails while I was on vacation here in Seattle, saying I still owed her the money for the bill. When I reminded her that I had already paid her the month before, she wailed, “But that money is GONE! I need it NOW!” True story. She’s since gone around spreading rumours to people that I don’t pay my bills or pay back money I’ve borrowed. cuts the cord Bubye, lady!

These are some of her classic lines:

“That’s just an old wise tale.”
“The dog won’t settle down until she goes through her whole rigor mortis.” (“Rigamorale”, perhaps?)
“Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.” (Sage advice, that: I credit all of my good fortune and accomplishments to never licking any horses, gift or otherwise, in the mouth)

And of course, there’s the time we drove to a Tim Horton’s drive-thru. The truck ahead of us finished ordering, but the line was quite slow, and so he could only pull up halfway. She pulls her little car up as far as she could, but we couldn’t quite reach the little speaker. The speaker spluttered out a polite, feminine voice: “May I take your order, please?” Well, we could do nothing about this but wait. It asked one more time, then the girl must have realised the situation and stopped asking. Fine. The line begins to move again, and we pull up to the little speaker, finally. The speaker sputters to life again: “May I take your order, please?” My friend looks suddenly confused, turns to look at me, as if for advice. I said, “What’s wrong? Did you forget our order?” Again, the speaker talks: “May I take your order, please?” My friend suddenly shakes her head as if to clear it, then gives the speaker our order. When she was finished, and we began pulling up, I asked her what had happened back there. She says - get this - “I didn’t know if they were talking to me!”

My husband had a pretty good one once. We were observing his father’s open car trunk, which had a sticker on the inside that instructed how to use the emergency lever, in case someone got stuck inside the trunk. My husband says, thinking he’s being funny, “Well, better not store any dead bodies in there, or they’d get away.”

Sure, it was funny, just not the way he’d intended!

19

I call them “init” files and “exec” files

20

Ah. A Rastafarian computer tech.