There aren’t many questions I won’t answer, especially if those questions are coming from an SO - I tend to get accused of oversharing. The only thing that comes to mind is that I won’t play the “Was he a better lover than me?” game. I’ll discuss my past, talk about my exes and why they’re my exes (if asked), but I won’t answer questions like “Who was better?” and “Did Mr. Exboyfriend have a bigger dick than me?” Nothing good can come from that conversation, and it’s no one’s business except mine and Mr. Exboyfriend’s.
(To be fair, I did answer the “Is your new boyfriend’s dick bigger than mine?” question once. I was young and stupid and angry, so I answered honestly - “Much.” It went over about like you’d expect. :smack: )
I refuse to answer “Was your other/previous lover better/worse/bigger/smaller/handsomer” type questions. Not so much because they’re too personal (although they are), but just because no good can come of it. When we started dating, WhyHusband didn’t believe I wouldn’t crack, and tried asking repeatedly, and I just rolled my eyes every time and said “You’rethebesteverrockmyworldyoubigmanlystudyou.” in a monotone. Eventually, he stopped asking.
My weight. All my doctors know exactly what I weigh. They need to know; you do not. I’m fat. I’m fatter than you. Hell, I know I’m the size of a Buick. But I’m not going to give you a number just so you can feel extra pious because you weigh less than me.
I tell DeHusband everything, even my weight. Hmmm so basically that means if you see me naked, I don’t mind getting on a scale for you. Do I have issues or what?
But do you not answer that for your own personal reasons, bosses don’t like you discussing payroll becuase at can, at times, give other employees leverage to get a raise, or at least make them annoyed becuase they’re not making as much as someone else.
Of course it all depends on who’s doing the asking, and what the context is. One example though, is that I work as a server and a lot of times other servers will ask me how much money I made that night. I never answer this.
Most likely, yes you do have issues… I don’t think the above quote reveals them, however.
I’m pretty much an open book, myself… if I trust the person asking. I won’t go into specific details about what I have done with my partner in an intimate manner (unless perhaps if he was present and adding to the conversation) but I will discuss generalities… although in the right setting only. I’ve actually had people ask me about sexual activities AT WORK… in an open cube environment (cubes that only come up to about 4 feet of so) Also, I won’t reveal information if it seems the person has an ulterior motive for asking. Yes I am gay, Yes I am essentially pagan. If someone is asking to much about when i turned my back on god, I may be less than willing to share intimate details.
I’ll answer almost anything, as long as I’m not invading a third-party’s privacy as well. If it’s about me, pretty much anything will get an honest answer.
I don’t like answering questions about how much I make or how much something I bought cost (unless I am gushing about getting a really good deal on it). I also don’t think it’s anyone’s business what my religion is, so I generally don’t share my beliefs in person unless I don’t feel like the questioning is threatening or potentially threatening to my position in that social circle.
If I’m close to someone, I’ll share almost everything with them; if I’m not, the person isn’t likely to get to know me too well at all. And this would be why most of my coworkers think I’m a shy introvert. ::snerk::
As a “boss”, I try to keep things friendly at work, and I request that people not share how much they are paid. If someone chooses to ignore my request, that is fine. BUT if Employee A complains that Employee B is making more than she is, I am more likely to correct the situation by cutting “B” back to "A"s salary rather than giving “B” a raise. It may not be “fair”, but it is one of the few perks of bossdome.
I can’t think of many questions from an SO that I wouldn’t answer. That’s kind of the point of an SO; having someone with whom you can be totally honest and from whom you don’t keep secrets.
But then that’s one of my flaws - I’m too honest and trusting. And the Boy doesn’t really ask any questions of me even after about 3 years so the OP isn’t too relevant to me. If I want to tell him something, I have to bring it up. I guess he’s not very inquisitive. Or maybe not that interested…
From anyone outside the SO: How much do you make?
How much do you weigh?
Have you ever had an abortion? No one’s asked me this one, and I have spoken on it on the boards, but for a purpose. It occurs to me I’d never answer it IRL.
From IRL friends: Anything about my sex life. As for the message board, I’m way more open about it here - but that’s part of because I’m so closed-mouthed about it IRL, and I need an outlet.
From the SO: Anything about past lovers. We tried it once and it went badly.
We try to keep it at a minimum as well, but we have a few motor mouths, when they’re not talking about themselves, they’re interrogating others for info. Luckily, our payroll is pretty fair, so when someone asks why employee B makes $3.00/hour more then them, the answer is usually something simple (to me) like, “Well, she declined health insurance, and that’s about what it costs me per month to cover her, if you’d like me to cancel yours I’d be happy to give you a similar raise”
That’s usually a straightfoward enough answer to shut them up about it, but confusing enough that they don’t go into more details about it. Of course we’re always happy to give them the raise in exchange for their insurance, and it’s a helluva lot easier then trying to explain what employee A has that B lacks that makes up for the difference.
I get asked this one a lot: “When are you having kids?”
I usually answer something like this “When you start minding your own damn business.”
Mostly just because it annoys me that I’m expected to bear children when I know that I’d be a horrible parent. I’m entirely too selfish to be a good parent.
But generally I’m an open book. I would probably have a problem discussing my intimate sex life with a vague friend or coworker, but I have absolutely no problem discussing it with my sister or best friends. AFAIK, my husband is the same way (and his friends give him new ideas, which is always fun ). I don’t have a problem discussing my pay; I’m the lowest paid person in the newsroom, and there’s a reason. I’ve only been there a year and I didn’t go to college.
Oh, that’s one. I don’t really like discussing my reasons for why I didn’t go to college after high school. They’re really stupid and kind of embarrassing. It really bothers me, too, when people ask me “When are you going to go back to school?” Because the honest answer is “I’m not sure, it depends on whether I can get the money and time.” and that sounds like a lame-ass excuse.
Oh, and one from my great-grandmother: “You know you’re going to Hell, don’t you?” Mostly because I know that any of the best responses would give the woman a heart attack.
). I don’t have a problem discussing my pay; I’m the lowest paid person in the newsroom, and there’s a reason. I’ve only been there a year and I didn’t go to college.