Quick - how many reasons can you list that someone might not want a toaster?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Someone asked me this recently, and I thought it sounded like a good question to ask on one of those mental acuity tests where they are assessing whether you might be in the early stages of dementia. I was able to rattle off 5 possibilities quickly and my interlocutor added a sixth which I was sorry I didn’t think of.

Try it, it’s a humorous and painless exercise. Give yourself 30 seconds or so (we’ll be nice and not time it exactly). Why would someone not want a toaster? GO!

(Here’s the six mentioned above):

1. Already own a toaster, don’t need another one.
2. Gluten intolerant, on a low-carb diet, or otherwise not consuming bread.
3. No room in the kitchen.
4. Prefer to eat bread untoasted.
5. No electricity in the house.
6. Believe that toasters emanate some kind of waves harmful to health.

2
  1. They toast their bread over an open flame. :smiley:
3

8)A toaster killed your father

4
  1. They’re afraid that people will assume they got it for coming out as a lesbian.
5

How 'bout a trigger warning next time.

6

  1. I cast my bread upon the waters and it didn’t return to me after many days.

  2. Saving my money to buy an iPhone. Can’t afford both, y’know.

7
  1. My top oven has a “toast” setting and makes the best toast I’ve ever had. No need for a toaster. Haven’t owned one in years.
8

  1. Toasters scare my cat.

  2. Do not have the patience/attention span to wait for the toaster to cycle.

  3. Have a hard time finding a toaster to match my neon-green kitchen theme.

  4. Nobody else has heard about how Trump uses toasters to track and monitor our daily bread intake? What a bunch of sheeple.

9
  1. My mother burned herself on a toaster while she was pregnant with me.
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nobody has yet said the simplest:

  1. “I don’t like toast”.
11

Suicidal. Death by toaster in the bath is not a good way to go.

12
  1. I make toast with my 1920s style death ray.
13
  1. don’t really feel it’s right to have a toaster until someone invents the un-toaster, then I’ll buy them as a pair.
14

A fire risk.

We had one of these when I was a kid. And some of my friends family toasters were this kind.

15
  1. They don’t like toast
  2. In fact, they don’t like anything involving bread. They avoid going to Mass because they’ve heard you get bread there.
  3. They’re from a culture in which toasters aren’t common (seriously. My mother still can’t understand why I like having a toaster)
  4. Why would you use a toaster when a pan works just fine?
  5. A pan? Heretic! Toast is properly toasted in a grille, you, you, you… antifoodist!
16

‘Toaster’ is an anagram of ‘Eats Rot’

17

Or ‘Rats Toes’. You want that in your kitchen?

18

Who wants Elwood Blues crashing though your kitchen wall in an old police car?

19
  1. Because the crumbs get everywhere.
  2. Fear of popping things. Why can’t they ever just slowly rise? Must toast be violently shotputted upand down to make sure it’s dead?
  3. Because there are too many choices of timing but only one correct answer for perfect toast.
  4. Because they have a toaster oven, the superior appliance where the bread can remain horizontal making sure that the bread is toasted in the most evenly way possible as opposed to vertical where the bread’s weight crushes down on the bottom part.
  5. The best thing since sliced bread means that you have to have sliced bread. I don’t have time to slice bread to properly get it into a toaster.
20

You all are making me laugh :smiley:

Here’s one that might almost be a serious reason where I live:

  • The crumbs in the toaster tray would attract geckos.