I went with ‘in’ because Bilbo kept the ring ‘in’ his house. And hobbits didn’t have cars so that wouldn’t have worked at all. It’s a nerdy joke so if you don’t like it, you can just point and yell, “Nerd!”. I’m used to it.
Are you sure she didn’t appreciate it? I thought groaning in pain was the correct response to a good pun.
Back during the investigation of Bill Clinton’s sordid whatever-it-was-or-wasn’t with Monica Lewinsky, when the infamous dress was found with … um … DNA material on it, I said the following to a bunch of friends:
Looks like Ken Starr isn’t the only lawyer in Washington who’s behind a smear campaign.
Didn’t get many laughs.
On this Board, when the Nickelodeon movie Rugrats Go Wild came out in 2003 (the one with the Rugrats/Wild Thornberry crossover), Bruce Willis provided the voice of Spike, the Pickels’ dog. I suggested that they could use, for the movie tag line:
**Willis is Barkin'**
Crickets. I got crickets. I suppose it’s too much to suppose that a lot of people were familiar with Charles Dickens’ David Copperfield, but you’d think that seeral folks on this Board would be, and would recognize the phrase
Barkis is Willin’
“Wordplay costs extra, pal.”
I’ve posted this before, but it’s my favorite, so what the hell…
Years ago I was at work. We were running a circus-themed promotion that day - balloons, jugglers, etc. were to be on site.
There was a pre-work meeting that day, serious stuff, bosses and bosses of bosses present. At one point, a worker poked his head in the door and announced, “the clowns are here”.
Almost instantly I replied, “send them in”.
Not an ounce of recognition or appreciation from a roomful of adults.
mmm
No, that is Level 3. A Level 2 response is a shocked pause, followed by groans and abuse. A Level 1 response is all the people who heard the pun fleeing the vicinity covering their ears.
My mom is getting along in years, and I spend the weekend with here at least once a month to take care of stuff.
We joke around too. She still has a great sense of humor.
Once, a cousin was visiting also. We had a few beers and mom had her monthly martini.
Well, mom has an essential tremor, and as I gave her her glass, her hand trembled a little bit. I looked to my cousin and said, “Mom likes it shaken, not stirred”.
A better reply instead might have been “Yes, but we’re almost done – they’ll be out soon.” But you might hasve been fired had they understood that.
that deserved better.
on a related matter. I was driving with my wife and a battered old van was hogging the middle lane and weaving. My razor sharp eyesight had picked out the name on the back - “mr. bippo, children’s entertainer” I bided my time as we got closer and as I finally went to overtake I let out a theatrical exhasperated sigh and said “what the hell is this clown doing?” as we passed the van with huge pictures of balloon animals and clown faces on the side.
nothing from my wife at all, I couldn’t point out the hilartiy of what I’d said as that would have been too desperate.
Excellent. 
Thank you, master. This one still has much to learn.
Thank you to everyone who has shared their tales of forlorn quips. Your joke may have been unappreciated when it sprang to life, but you are among friends now and your wit is appreciated and validated*.
- A word of warning: rumor has it that G0sp3l doesn’t pay for parking.
Here’s one from just the other day. We were watching Colbert and he had Ina Garten on. Mrs. FtG watches all those kind of cooking shows.
Mrs. FtG quipped: “She’s not actually a contessa.”
My reply: “And she’s not barefoot either.”
Mrs. FtG’s response: “Yeah, and?” Blank look.
I had to S P E L L it out. Sheesh.
I have an underappreciated quip from earlier this week. Someone on Facebook posted a crossroads that had a two sets of signage and signals and poles, so each street was marked twice. The street on the pole was marked “Bristol Street”. I quipped “Nice pair of bristols!” I only got 3 likes but I was very proud of the timeliness of my observation.
That’s what you get for using Latin. I know some Latin, but had to googletranslate that phrase.
When the recent remake of Murder on the Orient Express came out, I said to some colleagues who are film buffs and (I presumed) would get the joke, “I can’t believe they’re passing up the opportunity to use the tag line ‘The more, the murderer.’”
It’s not great, but I was expecting a polite chuckle. Crickets.
It got nothing but blank stares at the Latin Comedy Jam too.
Out drinking with a group of friends. In a lull in the conversation, Mrs Witz says (completely out of nowhere) to a green-fingered friend:* So, Jacqui, about deadheading chrysanthemums…*
In the slightly startled pause that followed, I managed: That’s a bit of a non-secateur, isn’t it?
Mostly silence, but one or two howls of derision.
j