Fthpthpthpthpthpthpthpthpthpthpthp.
Bingo- you’ve got it. I used to get this kind of shit when I worked less hours (due to some fairly serious back trouble). I’d be heading out at noon, and some asshole would start in- “OH, Must be NICE to leave at NOON every day!” and I’d get all pissed off. I’d justify it, let them know that I was going to a few hours of painful physical therapy for a serious medical problem- all to no avail. Then I got smart and started doing this:
Scene: breakroom, around lunchtime. Zette is packed up and ready to leave for the day.
Zette “Well, It’s a beautiful day out. I think I’ll go score me a six pack and lay in the pool all afternoon. Have fun working, everyone!”
Everyone: dumbstruck looks, angry backbiting- just as before, only now with a reason.
Bear in mind, my job hours were negotiated from the start and did not affect them- they were just jealous that I had a “deal” that they didn’t. I’d sometimes also say “Well, this is the deal I negotiated. I guess you need to learn how to negotiate better.”
I wasn’t very popular after that, but no one mentioned my schedule to me ever again. I highly recommend it.
[hijack]
Zette, I remember when you were talking about that. How is your back doing these days? Any improvement?
[/hijack]
Heehee. I think I nailed it because I remembered reading your suggestion (didn’t remember it was you) in an earlier Pit thread. So thanks for letting me steal your advice. 
Sniff
I’m going to throw myself off a bridge now, anyone wanna come?
[sub]I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job[/sub]
My brother’s best friend has chronic renal failure. He currently has the At-Home dialysis system, but he used to have to go 3 times a week to get the old-fashioned kind. I guess he had an assmunch co-worker who would start in with the “Must be nice to leave early.” “You’re so lucky, etc.” bullshit at him when he would pack up a 4:00PM to go for dialysis.
Finally, I guess after quite a few incidents, Phil whipped up his shirt sleeve and starting waving his fistula laden arm at the guy and yelling “Lucky? You call this lucky you asshole! Fuck-you I’m lucky. etc” I believe (if I recall correctly) his arm was actually spraying a bit of blood by the time he stormed out.
Interestingly, it was the shit-munch co-worker who got in shit for being insensitive. 
God I love it when Phil tells this story. :)
I used to get pissed about the comments about “gee, it must be NICE to <insert whatever I’m doing that co-workers wish they could>.”
Then one day I decided to change tactics. Now whenever anyone makes a comment like that, whether it be “must be NICE to leave early…” or “must be NICE to be able to eat all that” or whatever, I just put on my best shit-eating grin and say, “yeah, actually it is. It’s great to be ME and sucks to be you, don’t it?”
That has preeeeetty much eliminated the “must be NICE” comments around me (except for my mom. I’d never say that to my mom, because I really like the current arrangement of my face and I’d really rather keep my lips attached, thanks. :D)
Thanks for asking- not really much improvement, but I’ve had some luck lately with Celebrex for pain, but it’s not a “get better” kind of deal, it’s really a pain management/physical therapy forever kind of deal.
Neuro:
Rock on! It really does work. In the case of food, If someone commented about how “lucky” I was, I’d probably lick my lips and just say “You have NO idea.”
I still reply that way today- I don’t owe anyone an explaination, and I"ve found that the kinds of people who say these things knowing full well the real situation aren’t worth my consideration. The slack jawed look that always comes from hearing “Must be nice” followed by “It is. It really is.” is just priceless, IMHO.
I used to get mad and be like “Hey, why don’t you fuse together about 17 of your vertabrae and see how fucking lucky YOU feel?” and now I’m just like “Hey, it rocks my socks, pal. Have fun in the office the rest of the day. YeeeeeHAW!” even if I AM in pain or on my way to a doc app’t or PT session. They don’t care anyway, deep down, just as they don’t care if BBJ is eating well. They are just jealous of what they don’t even understand and is none of their business anyway.
Holy Jesus, do people really do that? As a guy who’s tall and slightly overweight (in my case, because I love food) I tend to eat a lot. One of my friends is a petite girl, 5 feet tall or so, and she weighs 90 lbs (she told me. I would never be so gauche as to ask.) The difference between how much we eat is enormous enough that when she sees me eating three times as much as she does, we both have to laugh.
But still - I have never in my life gotten comments from strangers (or friends) to suggest that I would be skinnier if I ate less. I can’t imagine someone having the temerity to do so. Clearly people believe that a woman’s body is to be the subject of public comment, while a man’s body isn’t. I can’t imagine that line of thinking, and I would dearly love to beat those rude bastards up for you.
But still - I have never in my life gotten comments from strangers (or friends) to suggest that I would be skinnier if I ate less.
That’s because you’re a guy, I daresay. Fat guys don’t get one quarter of the shit fat women get. Guys, generally, are judged by what they do (job). Women are judged on their appearance. Also I think people in general feel more at ease telling a woman what to do than they do a man (men are supposed to figure out their own answers, y’see) … and also they feel more comfortable putting down a woman. Most fat women are beat down emotionally and won’t stand up for themselves, and people know this. Lots of fat guys, though, just may haul off and deck you because it takes a lot to get a man to the point that he won’t defend himself.
Yes, I generalized a lot. I’m well aware there are exceptions to everything so don’t bother posting and saying “not all fat women are timid” or “not all guys defend themselves” etc. I know that already. I GET it, mmkay?
Oddly enough, as rather an expansive female, I’m my own worst critic – nobody I know will give me shit for what I eat.
To be fair, I do most of my eating at home alone, and my work lunches are rather light. And I eat fast food rather rarely.
Every time I see LPN’s nick I think of the SNL sketch called “Little Chocolate Donuts.”
Even when I weighed nearly 200 lbs (I’m 5’3") no one ever, ever so much as hinted that I was eating too much. I swear, I really must ooze so much contempt for the rest of the world that no one would’ve dared. I always thought I hid it well.
is maybe a little chocolate ninja?
Since people have added some of the wonderful comebacks for other situations, may I please add mine: I had to spend quite a bit of time in the company of a colleague whilst in grad school, and she heartily disapproved of my opinions, outlook, appearance, and approach to scholarship and research.
No, wasn’t flippant or anything; it was just that we were two different people, and her reaction to anyone even slighly out of step with her was that they surely must have mental or emotional problems.
Other people even pointed this out to her – you don’t call someone crazy or nuts or weird, for example, because you like to keep the office door shut during your office hours, and she prefers to keep it open (grad students had to share offices, about 10 of us in and out of this one office all the time, and 99% of us kept the door open for circulation, and to let the undergraduates know we were open for business.)
But you know the sort of person: If you don’t pronounce something the same way, you’re weird, cos SHE doesn’t say it that way. If you chose to wear a skirt on a cold winter day, something is wrong with you cos SHE wouldn’t. If you don’t have the same opinion about a television show as she because you don’t watch it, you’re unbelievable, because SHE watches it – how can you not watch tv, what’s wrong with you? She had a couple toady buddies who ‘sponsored’ a weekly meeting at one of the local eateries, and basically held the other grad students hostage – most of them went to maintain spin and damage control against this woman’s tongue, and everyone was afraid to be the first one to leave, because she and her pals would viciously insult that person. I never went because I was too poor in grad school to afford the inevitable rounds (she once presented me with a bill saying that even though I wasn’t there, it was ‘my turn’ and she’d covered for me), and when I was told, ‘Don’t you realise, that since you don’t come along, she talks meanly about you?’ :rolleyes:
No, it didn’t intimidate me into going; I just felt if they were that hard up for a subject, better me than someone else.
Anyway, her campaign against me went on for some time with me being like some of the people here who had to leave work early for real reasons, but had to listen to snarky comments – I would stammer and backfill and try to justify myself to this bint.
Finally, one day after dismissing my comment (to a third person) about some current political event as 'psychotic, ’ I turned on her, and said, ‘Yes, I AM psychotic. You are correct. And don’t you think, since you know the right way about doing everything, that if I AM psychotic you really ought to refrain from provoking me? Thanks!’
She steered clear of me after that.
That’s what I said in my post - because there’s no other reason I can think of why women would receive these comments and I wouldn’t (especially since, just by virtue of being male, I can eat virtually every woman I know under the table. The exception manages to eat more than me and weigh about a hundred pounds. But I’ll remember not to tell her she’s lucky. :))
It’s astounding to me that women have to put up with this shit. I guess I have never seen it personally, so I always assumed that people kept their opinions about others’ weight and dietary habits to themselves (or, if they’re the backstabby type, that they saved them to discuss with others.) I didn’t know that so many people found themselves in a position to offer unsolicited dietary advice to people they hardly know. I’m freaking shocked here, and rather dismayed. 
OTOH, I learned something good here. I don’t make bitchy comments to skinny women who can eat a lot, but I can’t be sure I’ve never made some sort of joke. Even though I would have meant it as a joke, the women in question may not have seen it that way.
BTW, something I learned from my therapist: metabolism rates vary by an incredibly small amount from person to person. There are people with genetic disorders that slow their metabolism, but even theirs is only about 20% too low. Everyone else is pretty close together. Us heavier folks have bigger appetites, but it’s not the case that we eat a cookie and it gloms onto our asses, never to leave. The people who are skinny may be lucky in that they don’t feel the urge to eat more food than they need (as I do), but chances are their “luck” comes from something the public might not see - like exercise and a generally healthy diet.