I have a co-worker who is persistently bugging me about eating. We’re a small office and the boss is out a lot, so most lunches are taken here and I eat at my desk. It’s got a computer, I’m toasty warm and I can see what’s going on around me. I don’t mind it, and I’ve explained this. I am also more of a grazer and avoid big meals. The boss doesn’t mind food at the desks, so I have granola bars, oatmeal, grapes, etc. and occasionally I’ll nuke a fake chicken patty in the microwave and bring it back to my desk.
Every day, I’ll get questions like “Aren’t you going to lunch? What do you mean, you’ve eaten? What’d you eat? You can’t live on granola! Why don’t you have a real meal?” Every day. My answers never change and she clearly sees the repetition, yet she still asks. Neither of us are large women, actually we are both pretty small. She sees me eat, she sees the food I bring in, it’s very obvious I don’t have an issue, yet she is constantly bugging me.
I’ve seen this intrusiveness with other people too, in myriad forms. Maybe I’m just touchy, but I truly don’t understand it. What is the big deal if someone eats differently than you, if they drink water throughout or only after, if they always get seconds or never finish the plate, if they eat dessert first or whatever? Why all the interest in other people’s habits? Is it cultural, a parent thing, a generational thing?
TLDR version: Why do people bug you about your eating habits? Why do they care so much?
I’ve bugged a couple of my bosses (both women) because they never ate lunch. But I only said something occasionally, and it was because they weren’t eating. If it was anything else I wouldn’t say anything (well, maybe if they were just eating junk food).
I have no idea why. Maybe it’s because they want to validate their own choices. But why does it revolve around food more than just about any other topic?
It’s possible your coworker doesn’t like eating lunch at her desk, but doesn’t feel like she has “permission” to go out unless you also go out. Are you senior to her, Lionne?
Bring some string cheese to work for lunch, peel it off in dozens of little strips, and then put them in your hair.
Tell her that you are having “head cheese” for lunch, as you slowly and mechanically take a piece of string cheese off of your head and put it in your mouth. Then pull another one off and say, “would you like a piece of my head cheese?”
I don’t think anyone really cares about your lunch. These people are just trying to make small talk with you and don’t go about doing it right. Maybe they want to get to know you better so would like you to eat with them?
Mostly I think it’s because it makes them feel superior. If they criticize you about the way or what you eat, it makes them feel more valid in their choices.
Because I’m concerned about them. One would come to work with stuff she was going to eat for breakfast and it would sit on her desk until the end of work. The other, I believe, ate breakfast but she never got away for lunch. Both of them were skinny (like me), and I was concerned about low blood sugar and not being able to think. Like I said, I only mentioned occasionally (maybe once or twice a month).
I can’t stand that either. That said, she might be trying to give you a subtle hint. I share an office with a co-worker. There is a door between us, but that door cannot mask the sounds of her crunching on crunchy foods. Sometimes, I just want to scream, Goddamit go OUT to lunch already so i don’t have to* listen* to it! She never eats a full meal either. Just grazes on really crunchy foods, like dry cereal or chips.
I’ll be working along, minding my own quiet business when my concentration is suddenly broken with
CRUNCH Crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch
And I’ll think, okay, she’s eating something crunchy and that’ll take about ten minutes and then her meal will be over and I won’t have to listen to it anymore. Nope. That was just the 10:15 bite. About 45 minutes, or maybe 3 hours later, (it’s random), again with the
CRUNCH Crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch
Makes me stabby. Really stabby. I don’t care if she eats a whole meal or never eats at all. I just want the crunching to stop while I’m trying to work.
I have a boss who does this. She brings in healthy snacks, but gets slammed with work and forgets to eat. Then she starts to flip out a bit and be unable to think straight (which is tremendously important when you’re trying to do fifteen things at once). When she starts hyperventilating, I’ll gently remind her to get a few bites of food into her so that she can do what needs doing. A few calories and she calms down immensely.