Only it’s not natural, and it can’t really be proven that it’s food.
I’m talking Totino’s Party Pizzas.
10 for $10.
Cut the box right and all you dirty is a knife! (Use the box as a plate)
Did I mention it was 10 for $10? That’s almost a week of food!
Can still burn the everluvin CRAP out of the roof of your mouth…
And the kid’s eat it.
It just needs some doctoring up with onions and peppers… and bacon.
Yup, needs some bacon.
And mushrooms. And garlic.
Or just some bacon salt!
Hey, you got ripped off!! 10 for $10.00 you say?
That means you got $2.00 worth of “pizza”* for $10 bucks.
You just doubled (tripled even maybe) the cost of dinner!
I completely disagree. . .
After college, I still vote that ramen noodles are the perfect food. They are the perfect soup base for just about anything. . . and if you prefer solid food, just drain the soup!
I mean, it’s got a perfect balance of sodium and carbohydrates. You can always add your own protein, fat, etc. It’ll take last night’s leftover steak, some spare cut-up hot dogs, extra spaghetti, frozen broccoli, your neighbor’s grass clippings or dandelion roots, prickly pear cactus, and even Worcestershire sauce!
Trust me, ramen is the most versatile, tasty food there is . . . hands down.
Tripler
I know the list from experience sans grass clippings and roots.
I do not judge food’s perfection by it’s cost. I judge it by it’s Baconness.
Why use your own? That’s what roommates are for.
Pizza cannot attain perfection unless tomato sauce is replaced with mustard, there is both white and yellow cheese, and anchovies are in abundance. I have just decided this.
Indeed it does, if you don’t happen to eat anything else all week.
I just discovered Nutella. God it’s tasty and expensive. Adam and Eve wouldn’t have lasted as long as they did in Eden if the tree was growing jars of Nutella.
Everything you say is true but you spelled avocado “p-i-z-z-a.”
I owned a pizza restaurant for several years, using all my own recipes, have worked in pizza restaurants for half of my life as head manager and other positions, and even now have all the equipment to make a great from-scratch pizza in my own home, but damn i love Totino’s. I know I am going to pizza hell for saying it, but I cannot help myself.
I. love. Totino’s. pizzas.
You would add fat. . .to ramen?? Seriously? Have you ever looked at the nutrition info on one of those puppies? One “serving” has something like 20g of fat, and it’s supposed to be two servings per package (yeah, like anyone ever ate a half package of ramen!)
I do like Totino’s pizza, though, in all it’s trailer-trash-y goodness! 
Amen. The Mexican pizza was the only thing I could eat through one pregnancy. Still love the hamburger and sausage ones, for a buck each. And one of those feeds me and two kids lunch. Not a bad deal.
My vote for the most perfect food is peanut butter, creamy or chunky doesn’t matter. It’s extremely versatile and can be used in different cuisines. And it’s vegan friendly.
I have to agree. Totinos is the top of that mysterious category of food that is so bad it’s good. I have resisted going and buying Totinios on that sale this week. I love those suckers and tend to eat more than is good for me. Having a stock in the freezer would just guaruntee that I would be baking it three times a week until it was gone.
What a coincidence! So’s Totinos!*
*=no, not really.
Unintentionally Blank: I’ve had steaks that were vegan-friendly. They would remind any vegan why they gave up meat.
(Seriously. They were fried-up remnants of a sidewall blowout. My six-year-old self could only console Mom that the steak was “good… like bubble gum.”)
Doesn’t that describe every steak ever cooked?
At least, I could say that about any steak I’ve ever eaten…and I don’t like bubble gum.