Hello, I’d like to apply for a chemical, please.
Profile: slow-reacting, useful, not showy.
Could I be graphite, do you think? I like graphite. All grey and slippy.
But you’re the chemist.
:: Smooches quix ::
:: Hugs Rysdad ::
Thanks 
Pandora, lessee here, you’re a biochemist, and you have a box <ummm… nevermind>. Whenever I think of boxes in biochemistry, I’ve gotta go with iron-sulfur clusters. You can be [Fe[sub]4[/sub]S[sub]4[/sub]]. I’ll extend you the professional courtesy of allowing you to decide if you want to put yourself in any specific enzyme.
Piell, “What am I?” is such a deep, existential question. I can’t answer that. I’m just some dork who likes avoiding work by posting to this thread. But your name makes me think of piezoelectricity, where movement of a crystal generates electricity (or vice versa). So you can be NaNbO[sub]3[/sub].
Arwen, I love that link. Your profile says you’re in Canada, so I’ll choose R-cytidine monophosphate (RCMP), in honor of your Mountie heritage. 
Pucette, it’s hexaamminecopper (II). Very pretty purple.
Zyada, I most definitely am having too much fun with this. A belly dancer, you say? Well I’ll just have to give you a naked cluster then. You can be Pb[sub]5[/sub][sup]2-[/sup], because that’s “too much” lead. And your boyfriend likes mysteries, eh? One of the most troublesome pursuits in the realm of chemistry was making cyclobutadiene, C[sub]4[/sub]H[sub]4[/sub]. I have no idea what would happen if you mixed cyclobutadiene and your lead cluster… find out!
MrVisible, why don’t we let you be one of the most famous visible chemicals? C[sub]55[/sub]H[sub]70[/sub]MgN[sub]4[/sub]O[sub]6[/sub], commonly known as chlorophyll (chlorophyll b).
Scotticher, a chemical used as an excuse? I’m gonna get in trouble for this one but you can be C[sub]18[/sub]H[sub]24[/sub]O[sub]2[/sub], the simplest type of… estrogen! <run away run away!>
Dragonblink, yeah, we don’t want you to be a total pansy. You can be hydrofluoric acid, one of the nastiest substances to work with. Not only will you dissolve just about anything, including metal and glass, but you also work as a local anesthetic. So, if someone gets a drop of HF on their skin, they can’t even FEEL it eating away at them. That’s pretty badass.
vivalostwages, I can fill that void no sweat. No more lost wages for you… if you ever need some cash, just chip a little bit off of yourself, because you’re Gold.
Janet O, you get to be the wonderful chemical [18]-annulene, which looks more or less like a big O (ok, you have to squint, but it’s the thought that counts).
Sapphire Bullet, I know I told you that you could be emerald, but Arwen reminded me of a better choice. You are (Mg,Fe)[sub]7[/sub]Si[sub]8[/sub]O[sub]22/sub[sub]2[/sub], aka magnesium iron silicate hydroxide, aka Cummingtonite. 
Gravity, hey, I know it wasn’t your fault. Chemistry hates you. It told me so. I think it’s because you need to shower… you smell like rotten eggs. Oh wait, that’s not your fault either, you’re H[sub]2[/sub]S.
Mobius74, that was a terrible pun. As punishment, I’m assigning you a substance without real substance–Meitnerium, specifically [sup]266[/sup]Mt. You have a half-life of 0.0034 seconds. Muhahahaha!
Verrain, a molecular biologist? About the only thing I remember from my molecular biology/biochem class was that we used ethidium bromide, C[sub]21[/sub]H[sub]20[/sub]N[sub]3[/sub]Br. I hope you like blue.
Kyla, oh, I’m geeky am I? <sigh> Don’t I know it. A friend of mine once told me about an episode of the X-Files (talk about geeky–not even I watch that show) called “The Post-Modern Prometheus.” So it only seems fitting, Miss Postmoderngirl, that you shall be Promethium. Promethium is special because it is one of only two elements before Uranium (Technetium being the other) that isn’t found on Earth. So you are out of this world
ladybug, wouldn’t want you to get left out. Unfortunately, chemistry has traditionally been a very phallocentric science. On the periodic table, the element that everyone (ok, everyone nerdy) thinks of when they think of women and chemistry is Curium, named after Marie Curie. But I’ve always pictured her as kind of… well, manly. The other option is Niobium, named after a beautiful Greek queen, Niobe. Yeah, that’ll work much better.
Chickenhead, I’d take offense at you usurping my powers, but I think you nailed it in your case.
Silver Fire, I could just give you silver, but man isn’t that boring as hell. A more interesting choice would be Rhodium. You’re silvery-white (white because you live in a state that has no sun). If you heat rhodium up to melt it, it takes on all sorts of weird forms, but if you REALLY heat it up, then it looks like rhodium metal does again, kind of a silver fire, I guess. And, last time I checked, rhodium is one of, if not the, most expensive natural metals.
Kat, I thought and thought, trying to come up with something feline in chemistry. The best I could do was Cadmium, pronounced with sort of a Russian accent (so it’s kind of like Cat-mium). At least you’re quite useful (and nicely toxic).
Peregrine, how bout we nerd up that graphite a little bit? You’re Teflon, my boy.
Quix
0.0001 Hey, what d’ya mean terrible pun?
0.0218 What’s left of me thought it was pretty good.
0.0727 Pretty nifty chemical property though.
0.0985 Hey, wait a second here! Just wanted to say thanks!
0.1184 *** POOF! ***
OK, some of us hometownfolk don’t get out much. But even though we live in a small town in Oregon, we are eager to be hip to the jive of the big city slickers.
Can you lay a groovy compound on me? Something to impress the neighbors would be great and I KNOW I would be the first in my block.
Thank you for your support
Hometownboy
What am I? Hopefully, not that horrible dihydrogen oxide that every one is always talking about.
What am I. If it helps, here is my post to the “favorite drink” thread.
::smooch:: Thank you, quix.
Mr. Quix, may I have a chemical please?
I’m usually a hit-and-run poster, and a newbie (ok I lurk a lot) so we haven’t really met yet.
I picked Taz as my user name 'cuz he’s my alter-ego…he never apologizes and never explains, he just is.
A compound would be cool but maybe too complex for Taz, is there a chemical or an element that just is?
Many thanks from the Taz-grrl!
P.S. I’ll update my sig if you find me sumthin’ good…
Ooh, ooh, gimme one! I wanna be the envy of all the geeks in my neighborhood (and there’s a lot of geeks here, so I need something competitive).
I never thought that I’d ever say this, but, could I have a chemical please? I spent the first three years of college as a microbiology major, and the switched to French in my final year, never graduated. 5 years later went to culinary school and have an associates of applied science. What does this make me?
I am an element denoted by the abbreviation Fg.
At least, that was the story my editor, who’d known me for years, told me when he was listing assignments by initials and couldn’t remember my first name.
I feel kinda dumb, seeing as I only have 2 (3?) posts here, but I really want to be a chemical. Pwease?
Thank you, quix.
I see that my full name is polytetrafluoroethylene, but I think I might prefer to go by (C[sub]2[/sub]F[sub]4[/sub])[sub]n[/sub]. I am pleased to see that I can be used for making artificial body parts, because I am hardly ever rejected. My mechanical properties can be enhanced by adding fillers such as glass fibers and graphite. Cool.
It doesn’t matter here, but I should perhaps state for the record that I am not a boy.
Hey Quix,
This is my first post, so it’s almost guaranteed that you know absolutely nothing about me
Come on baby, give me my chemical. Let’s see how good you really are
Well, I’d like a chemical. I’m somewhat new, and not very visible, so this might be a little tricky. Mind giving it a try?
I’m sometimes inert, sometimes rather reactive, especially on political issues.
So, can you define me in terms of chemistry, or am I not rele-valent?
Cool. Thanks, Quixotic. 
I’m Gold?? Wow! Thank you; I’ll keep that in mind during my next pilgrimage to Lost Wages…
Can I have a chemical too, please? It should reflect the fact that I often make senseless, out-of-context remarks and/or fly off the handle in chat.
Robin