I mean, someone must be buying that Capodemonte bear shitting in the woods figurine or they’d be out of business by now. But who? Is there really that many WWF/WCW addled brains out there purchasing this shit to keep it profitable?
I only bring this up because my cable provider recently decided to switch the channel lineup for the umpteenth time and I’ve been stuck having to pass that channel to get to the good ones. Call me an idiot, or call me a sadomasochist, but I’ve actually found myself stopping and watching it from time to time.
How these announcers can come up with the crappola they come up with it hilarious. Right now the lady is pushing a ‘Medusa Floor Lamp With Articulated Snake Arms’ –QVC Price $107.25!!. Honest to God, I don’t think I could make this stuff up. Oh uh, she just said, “Think of the places you could put it! Right behind that couch in the family room. What a conversation piece.”
A conversation piece? Does QVC really want to subject someone to the torment and humiliation that they’d undoubtedly recieve if they displayed this thing?
I’d always assumed that channels like QVC were funded by the people who work there. The announcers always have about 50% of the merchandise on their person (well, clothes and jewlery.) And I’ve actually heard them saying, “My husband bought me this.” So I assumed that if everyone who works for the station buys the products, they might stay in business.
Maybe they just have a low overhead so it only takes a few actual sales to keep 'em in business. But still, who is making those few purchases of the scary clown doll? People who just don’t get out much, if ever?
I just ordered a very pretty Sterling silver sapphire/white sapphire ring (product number J54805) from QVC’s website ( http://www.qvc.com ). I also got my telescope (product number unavailable) from QVC a little over a year ago. It was the “Today’s Special Value” and I got it for just over $120, including tax and shipping & handling. Someday in the future, I plan on ordering a Sterling silver iolite bracelet (J62682) from them. I rarely watch QVC anymore since it’s easier to search the site.
Actually, I think my mother used to be their primary shopper. She LOVED the jewelry bargains (and since her father was a jeweler, she KNEW they were bargains!) and also got quite a few other items. She still watches it every day (that and the news) but doesn’t buy nearly as much anymore. (Mainly because they started charging Sales Tax as well as Shipping, and she didn’t think the bargains were as good anymore).
But she claims she’s learned A LOT from the channel, such as how to identify a good collectible doll and how Black Hills Gold gets to look that way.
I suspect she’s not alone in this, that most people who buy from QVC are older people who don’t get out much.
The wife of a colleague of mine is definitely providing the QVC folks with substantial dollars. I know this because I receive QVC gifts for birthdays and holidays. Oh, and my Aunt Mona is also a frequent shopper. Last Christmas I got this thing that I think is supposed to hold jewelry, and it’s shaped like one of those dogs with big sad eyes. It’s sitting up like it’s begging, and you (allegedly) drape your bracelets or necklaces over it’s pathetic little paws.
This reminds me of a conversation that we had at the recent NYC Dopefest. Some of us agreed that we were sometimes tempted to buy the things we see advertised on TV, but fear that if you do that once, you’re pretty much hooked for life.
I don’t have QVC, but late night TV has been showing two ads that really, really call to me like sirens.
The first is for this attachment type thing that goes on your garden hose and you use it to blast leaves and muck out of your gutters. I don’t even have gutters, but this gizmo is only $19.95! It looks too fun to pass up. You can also use it to blast unsightly mold from brick walls.
The second is a gadget called, um … Hairagami? It’s some sort of hair clip that winds long hair up into elegant (and by the looks of the commerical) flawless “hair creations.” I’m quite sure if I actually purchased this and tried to use it, it would look like a wet poodle died on my head. But it’s still tempting.
You can’t order that Medusa lamp with multicolored articulated globes because I forgot the item number.
When will I learn?
I didn’t know you needed an item number for that stuff. I thought they would know what it was when you mention it.
Operator- “Which Medusa lamp are you talking about? We have several- The Medusa lamp with the stylish lime green faux crystal globes? Or the Limited Edition Medusa with the articulated live action snakes with flashing battery operated red eyes? You need to be more specific m’am.”
You don’t actually need an item number if you have a fairly accurate description of the item and the operator you’re talking to is familiar with the product. And I didn’t want the Medusa lamp anyway. In fact, I have no clue what you’re talking about. The only time I ever watch that channel is when they feature Sterling silver or electronics. Unless I’m looking for gift ideas, in which case I’ll watch any jewelery show.
Well, I know when the Boyd’s Bears are being sold, my mom pumps a ton of money into QVC. She likes to say that she’s buying them for my “inheritence” because they’re collectable. I personally find it a major waste of money…
I don’t buy from QVC, but my mom does now and then-- mostly sterling silver stuff, like Silver Fire mentioned. She’s given me several really nice pieces as birthday or Christmast gifts. My favorite right now is a bracelet with jade beads in a bunch of different colors. I get complements on it every time I wear it. So I think they do have some decent stuff if you can just focus on the items, and ignore the host chatter.
On the other hand, I once visited a house owned by a Capodemonte addict, and that stuff is even more hideous up close than it is on television. Also, a friend of my mom’s is into those icky Precious Moments figurines, and apparently QVC runs specials featuring them… ooh, goody, an hour or more full of deformed urchins with freakishly big eyes!
