Sounds to me like you’re the racist here. How sad.
Fine, doesn’t believing one race to be more attractive than all others fit that definition?
It had to do with my specific response to blowero.
What does this have to do with anything? I never set up some binary system of diving racists by seeing who someone will have sex with. I said racial discrimination in sex and attraction is racist; I didn’t say sex with other races makes one not racist.
I am glad to oblige. I was being charitable. I was offering you an out. You have chosen to condemn all of us for a universal human behavior. I know that you, being a presumptive member of the human race, share the same feelings that you are condemning us for. Had you offered to acknowledge that you, like everyone else, are more attracted to some races and ethnicities than others, but you find it disturbingly close to racism. You would have been well understood and possibly credited for making a good point.
You chose option two. You seem to have a problem with the mere discussion of a universal human phenomenon. You also refuse to acknowledge that you don’t find all races and ethnicities equally attractive. This is known as being on a high horse. This is why so many people have a problem with what you are saying.
As for my point about Samoans and Australian aborigines. I believe you know exactly what I am saying. You ducked the question by claiming (implausibly) to never have been exposed to so much as pictures of those people. Fine, you can subsitute Eskimos, Laplanders, Mongolians or any number of other tribal or ethnic groups. I am sure you do not find them equally attractive. And you know, that is OK. I am sure that your average white girl would have a tough time getting a date in Papua New Guinea. Sexual attraction is too complex a phenomenon to be explained by your one word answer of racism.
To steer this away from the developing argument here… this is an interesting topic; i love discussions of race because i like to think i have a somewhat unique perspective; i’m a product of a mixed marriage— my mother is black, and my father is white. I find that nearly all the guys i like are white; some are Hispanic or middle-eastern, as well. The question posed in the OP has been on my mind many times, because i often feel like i’m doing something wrong if i’m simply not attracted to any of my guy friends who are black. If my parents could cross that racial barrier, why can’t I?
My guess is that if love is all it’s cracked up to be, it should be blind to race. But physical attraction, on the other hand, has every reason to be somewhat biased, because it’s based on appearance. If Jane Doe has a soft spot for freckles and green eyes and red hair, she isn’t going to find any of those attributes in a black man or a hispanic man.
Having a preference is not at all racist or morally wrong; it’s natural. I think people have a tendency to like the sorts of faces they grew up with-- their families-- so the faces of your own race will be most appealing as you mature.
On a different note, i don’t think it’s necessarily good that we are attracted to our own races. It’s nothing we can help, but it has its roots in a social problem: the fact that different races are still fairly segregated in this country. Jane likes white facial features because growing up, she found those attributes not only in her family, but in most of her neighbors and schoomates as well.
So overall my position is: it’s perfectly fine if you’re usually attracted to your own race.
But there’s much to be said for the person who makes the extra effort to cross racial boundaries.
Quote: (by OP)
…to want your child to marry someone of the same ethnical group as your own…
Why is that racist? Marriage is hard, at BEST it takes a lot of work, time, attention, struggles. To add to it the trials and tribulations that can come along with an interracial relationship just makes it even harder.
Wanting to spare your child that added hardship is racist how?
Now, if the OP had said “to want your child to ONLY marry someone of the same ethical group as you”. Yes, I’d consider that racist, but to simply want to have your child remain in their own ethical group for more normal reasons? Why racist?
You know, you’re really being obtuse here. It’s not “believing one race to be more attractive”; it’s being attracted to a particular race. The reason you are littering this thread with so much utter hogwash is because you either fail to, or refuse to understand the difference. Blue is my favorite color. That doesn’t mean I believe blue is intrinsically superior to other colors. I like steak better than chicken. That doesn’t mean I think steak is intrinsically superior to chicken. I don’t “believe Asians are more attractive”, I just know that I happen to be more attracted to them (on average).
Frankly, this silly idea that we somehow choose our preferences is the same sort of nonsense that the religious right is using to justify discriminating against gay people.
Yes, it was a thinly-veiled charge of racism, just like the unwarranted charges of racism you have leveled at almost everyone else in this thread. And all based on your failure to understand a simple distinction.:rolleyes:
Ah, so the point is to lower myself off of my “high horse”. Fine, here I go, off of my high horse. I’m generally less attracted to Eskimos and Pygmies. So in some way I’m racist against them… and I’ll just end the post here… even though it doesn’t make sense… for so many reasons… urgh…
I never said sexual preferences were chosen, I said they weren’t biological, arbitrary, or fixed. If they’re race based, then there’s a high chance that some non-physical prejudices color you asthetic perception. Racial prejudice has been known to affect people’s olfactory perceptions; why can’t they affect visial ones?
If there’s a difference, when does somebody find someone attractive and when is attracted to someone. Can anyone ever believe anybody to be attractive using your semantics, or are we all just attracted to people?
I’ve seen plenty of blacks with green eyes AND freckles. Plenty. There aren’t any exclusive traits in the racial categories we’ve set up.
Hmmm?
“Racial prejudice has been known to affect people’s olfactory perceptions”? Where’s that from?
from pizza brat
In fact there is at least one… the color of the skin. And some people are more attracted to certain complexions. Just like hair color, eye color, etc. etc.
In my neighborhood and schools when I was growing up the mix of people was about 70% white and 30% black. There were almost NO other ethnicities around. I am white and I was more attracted to the white girls than the black (with some exceptions) when I was young. Since then, I have moved around a lot and been exposed to many different races/mixes. Not surprisingly, my appetite for different races has expanded greatly.
Just remember what Bulworth said: “If we just keep fucking each other enough, pretty soon we’ll all be the same color anyway.” (or something like that)
Pizzabrat, i think you’re right that some of what motivates people to gravitate to partners of the same race might be rooted in racist thought, but I think it’s not something that can be helped.
Like I said, people like the sorts of people they grow up around, the people they are most familiar with. This ineveitably results in a kind of racism; I think if everyone were to truly examine their thought processes, they would find some slightly prejudiced views. I know i have; it’s disturbing, but not surprising because… here’s the important thing… it’s rooted in something I had no control over. I am attracted to white guys more than other races because I was surrounded by a white immediate family; the only non-white was my mother. Do i have prejudices because of that? Yes, and I was sorry to realize that I do. Am I a racist? Definitely not. Or perhaps that depends on how exactly you define racism; i consider my prejudices to be sort of subconcious; my conscious thought and all my actions-- in short, everything about myself that i can control-- knows that human beings are equal. I don’t purposely seek out white guys; i am attracted to them and simply follow my instinct.
So the argument, imho, still stands; attraction to your own race is natural and completely forgivable.
And by the way, I’ve got to disagree with you, and side with blowero, on the fact that you can be attracted to a certan race most of the time, but still maintain that no one race is “most attractive”. The difference exists because being attracted to someone is personal; to believe that a certain type is most attractive, on the other hand, would be to assert that everyone thinks (or should think) just as you do.
And finally, addressing a point you attacked… If Jane Doe has a soft spot for freckles and green eyes, and comes upon one of the plenty of black people you say fit this description, then according to theory she would be attracted to this him. But most of the time, she would find those traits in caucasian men, and so most of the men she is attracted to will be white. The point still stands that she likes the traits she sees in white people, and thus is attracted mostly to white people.
and btw… freckles, red hair and green eyes was just an example; i suspect that the traits we like to see in others are much more subtle; things like a ratio between eye width and nose height, or something equally obscure.
thermalribbon: I pretty much wanna fuck 'em all.
While we’re on the fuck subject:
And fucking boring that will be.
- Rune
I don’t know why I’m bothering, but I’m gonna try this one more time. You are failing to distinguish between believing that a person is attractive, and feeling a sexual attraction to that person. I believe that Brad Pitt is attractive. However, I do not feel a sexual attraction to Brad Pitt. I am baffled as to how you fail to understand the difference, to the point that I suspect you are merely taking an untenable contradictory viewpoint for the purpose of getting a rise out of people.
Rose, I am mixed the same way you are. I have been attracted to people of many different races. Although I’ve dated white & hispanic guys, the vast majority have been black.
My upbringing was such that my brothers and I were the only people in our small community that were mixed. Our father was never a part of our lives so we grew up surrounded and loved by our mom’s family. I had then and still kinda have now, issues about not looking like the people in my family. Consequently, I wanted very much to have a child who looked like me. In order to get that, I would need to have a child with someone who is mixed like me or a hispanic person or a caucasion.
However, I am very comfortable with “black culture”. I’m accustomed to and like the way black guys approach women. (Well, the ones of my generation anyway.) Openly appreciative, but not disrespectful. I like the way black mens’ hair feels. I like the contrast of my skin against a darker complexion. I like being with someone who has shared a similar cultural upbringing as me. And now that I’ve had a child with a black man, I like that my child looks black.
While I still find myself attracted to men of different races - I don’t consider dating them (my SO would find that a relief) and wouldn’t even if I weren’t attached. I don’t find black men inherently better - but I can find the things that please me easier by dating a black man.
I’m sure to some that this discrimination makes me racist. Obviously I don’t think so. I wouldn’t tell my child to marry only a black man or else. I don’t limit my relationships with people in general based on race. I don’t think myself superior to others of different races and I certainly don’t do anything to harm anyone based on their race.
Growing up in the rural Midwest, I was mostly attracted to white women. After spending some time in Africa after college, I became primarily interested in black women, so much so that I married one. So one’s perceptions of who is attractive are shaped by what is seen on a day to day basis, at least in my case.
In the 21st century United States I don’t think a mixed marriage is nearly as challenging as it was even a few decades ago, although of course any marriage is difficult at times.
mornea, i agree with everything you said. And this also supports my theory that people gravitate towards what they see around them; we are both the same race, yet are attracted to different races because we each grew up around different people.
And though we have a preference when it comes to relationships, calling it racism would be ridiculous. Same goes for everyone; bottom line, attraction is not a choice, it just happens. There is nothing morally wrong with being attracted to a certain race.
You get lots of leniency here, because I’m in a similar state. For what it’s worth, I am usually identified as a bisexual black woman, and I am not sexually attracted to:
- Asian men;
- Black men; or
- Blond(e)s of any gender or orientation.
I’ve seen some breathtakingly beautiful examples of all of the above, some enough so that I’ve walked into things while gaping at them. But the interest doesn’t go past that. When I become Empress of the Universe, they’ll be adorning my palace, but it will be the high-contrast brunet types in the harem. So it goes.
This is always a touchy issue, because people draw the dividing lines between racism, sexual desire, friendship, and aesthetics in all sorts of different places. My feelings really tend to boil down to the I-Thou relationship: am I interested in you, singular as friend/lover/ornamental object? Do you feel the same way? Are we able to find some level of agreement?
That rings true with me, as well. I find a lot of the movie star people attractive, even sexy, but my crushes tend to be on the type I grew up around (lanky, thin, somewhat geeky types). It’s not that I wouldn’t be interested in any other type, but I’m more inclined to drool at that specific type (although generally those of that type for whom hygiene is more than a greeting). Indeed, my friends make fun of me over that fact continuously.