My son and my husband come back from buying the kid a winter coat. My daughter takes one look at him and says “You look like a suspect.”
He’s got on a wool FDNY cap, big skateboard jeans, nikes and a huge bubble coat. My first thought was maybe we should get him a different coat. Because I was afraid for him.
Do you know who fucking pissed this thought made me? Do you know how pissed I still am? Because I still feel scared. What happens to equal protection under the law when it’s the law that I’m afraid of? Because of a coat.
So my girlfriend tells me not to worry too much because the police aren’t paying too much attention to black folks, what with them pulling over Middle-Eastern taxi drivers. This is supposed to make me feel better?
This shit sucks and there ain’t a damned thing I can do about it. Don’t tell me things are getting better. They have not improved in my lifetime. We got the Civil Rights law passed and blacks should be happy with that. Fuck that. I want more. I want to feel secure when my son leaves the house in his bubble coat.
“The police are no more racist than the citizens they often disserve!!! Thank GOD more of you racist sexist homophobic belligerent freakshows don’t have badges to go along with your guns!”
For what it’s worth Biggirl, I would cross the street from ANYONE, black or white, who was dressed like that because in my experience people dressed like that tend to beat me up.
Gomez
[sub]Who has been mugged twice by people who wear woolly caps, baggy jeans and puffy coats[/sub]
I wish you didn’t have to feel that way – that your son could wear whatever kind of coat without “looking like a convict”.
It reminds me a little of my Argentine friend who cannot drive anywhere in SE Arizona without getting stopped and interrogated by the border patrol, because she is hispanic. She hates this, and complains about it all the time. I can only sympathize, as I am lily white (well, sort of pinkish, really) and never have to deal with that kind of thing directly.
All the same, I am pissed that this kind of racial insecurity exists. :mad:
I remain perpetually amazed at people who, recognizing that I am a lily-white Protestant, will proceed to share their buckets of hatred with me. Because I’m just like them, you know, because I’m white too.
A cop friend of mine once told me he looks upon anyone wearing one of those “Michelin Man” jackets suspiciously. The problem is not necessarily race - it’s the jacket. My cop friend says that he has seen folks hide sawed-off shotguns underneath those jackets and no one can tell because they’re so poofy. He also said that drug dealers dig those coats because one can hide a comparatively large wad of dope in them (in an inside pocket) and also avoid a conspicuous bulge.
When I was a kid, the rage for marijuana dealers was to wear those hooded sweatshirts and stuff their stashes into the hood. For a while, anyone wearing a hooded sweatshirt at my high school was viewed with suspicion. Some teachers would even yank on the hoods as kids walked by, just to see if they could detect anything hidden back there. There was even talk about banning the sweatshirts in school, which seemed to me to be a ridiculous idea.
I think many police officers see the Michelin Man jackets and they say to themselves “Hey, this person might be concealing something.” Yeah, it sucks, but there’s a lot more to it than race.
“Surveys show that black people are no longer the most hated minority! They’ve fallen to third behind people of Middle Eastern descent and those who just look like they’re of Middle Eastern descent! With luck, they’ll soon pass the French to move into fourth!”
I certainly wouldn’t be afraid of your son if he was dressed like that, black or white. Now, your son in a group of ten friends all dressed like that, black or white, and I might raise my awareness a little bit.
But you do live in NY. I assume things are different there.
I actually think that very little of this particular instance has to do with race. It has to do with how your son is dressing. I’m sorry, but if your son is dressing in a manner that could be construed as suspicious, then he will probably be looked at suspiciously. That’s I would never dress in baggy khakis, white t-shirt, and maddogger sun glasses in my area. If you don’t want to be confused with a thug, don’t look like one.
And by the way, I am very sympathetic to the whole thing. I agree with you that a person’s dress style shouldn’t affect how you see that person. But unfortunately, it does.
With all due respect to BIGGIRL, I think it’s very interesting that her daughter said “you look like a suspect” and based on that, BIGGIRL is angry with police who might treat him differently based upon how he looks.
Seems like the police aren’t the only ones judging him by how he dresses, and concluding he looks suspicious. At the very least, his sister does as well.
FWIW. it makes me mad, too (tho’ I’m sure in a different way).
I’ve done what I can personally, by raising my child to see people as people. By arguing against racial profiling whenever the topic comes up. By voting my beliefs.
much more needs to be done. Am open to suggestions.
Jodi with all due respect, I don’t interpret the OP taht way. the sister commenting ‘you look like a suspect’ is, IMHO, vocalizing the same thing as BigGirl ie, if you go out lookin’ like that the cops will think you’re a criminal, you will be perceived to be some one with criminal intentions.
Neurotik: *If you don’t want to be confused with a thug, don’t look like one. *
Jodi: *With all due respect to BIGGIRL, I think it’s very interesting that her daughter said “you look like a suspect” and based on that, BIGGIRL is angry with police who might treat him differently based upon how he looks.
Seems like the police aren’t the only ones judging him by how he dresses, and concluding he looks suspicious.*
Um, I didn’t get the impression from the OP that Biggirl was merely afraid that people might feel a little nervous about her son or momentarily wonder if he was a “thug”. She is worried that he has a significant chance of being physically harmed by police officers because of the combination of his clothing style and his race. The thing is, black youths who dress in the sort of “street”-style clothing popularly associated with outlaws do have a much greater risk of being hassled by cops than similarly-dressed white youths do. Yes, black males can reduce that risk by dressing in suits and ties or other types of clothing popularly perceived as more “respectable”, but why should they have to? That, I think, is what Biggirl is pissed about.
I was in Bayfair Mall recently and this guy thought he recognized me. “Hey you just get out?” he says. Me: Him: “Yeah from Rita” Now I get it, Rita is a reference to Santa Rita a jail out near Livermore. “Nope” says I, “never been there”.
I knew the reason for the confusion. I’m a big guy, and wearing a coat appeared more muscular than my true flab ridden frame. Still pissed me off though. What a muscular looking black guy had to just get out the pen?
Yea, I see that the Middle-Eastern type is the vogue “it” guys now. This does not make me any happier.
Thinking a little more about it, I don’t think it really was the coat. My son has been wearing down coats since he was a toddler. He’ll soon be 15. He’s not a little boy any more. He’s a gawky teenager – a prime suspect. I’d call him “strapping” but he really isn’t. Skinny describes him much better.
I’d love to believe it’s the coat. It would make me feel so much better. Only it’s not true. I have some first hand knowledge of this and tons and tons of quite verifiable second hand knowledge.
P.S. If I buy him a Member’s Only jacket it won’t be the police I’ll have to worry about.
Lotso replies snuck in while I was composing my last one.
My daughter’s comment was one of concern. The police treat blacks dressed in wool caps and bubble jackets like suspects.
And I did think of getting a different coat. I said so in my OP. The fact that I was seriously considering getting my son a different coat to protect him from the police is what pissed me off.
Being a law abiding citizen isn’t enough? If I send him out in a clown nose and harlequin pants, then I won’t have to worry about the police. Well, fuck that. I don’t see why anyone has to.
Him: “Yeah from Rita” Now I get it, Rita is a reference to Santa Rita a jail out near Livermore. “Nope” says I, “never been there”.