[QUOTE=Spoons]
“Here’s to our wives and sweethearts–may they never meet!”
I’ve been using this one for a while (wives and girlfriends and not sweethearts). Do you know the source?
Friends may come
And friends may go
Friends my peter out, you know
So here’s to friends through thick and thin
Peter out… or peter in!
“Bloody war and quick promotion!” - A Royal Navy toast from the long, quiet decades after the Battle of Trafalgar
“Here’s mud in your eye!” - Dates from WWI, I believe
“I know half of you half as much as I would have liked, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve!” - Bilbo Baggins’s eleventy-first birthday toast
“Her Majesty the Queen!” - The Loyal Toast of the U.K.
“The President of the United States!” - The first toast at any U.S. military dinner; to the office and not to the man (or, someday, woman)
A toast: to Melba!
Here’s to the girl in the little red shoes.
She smoked all my smokes, she drank all my booze.
Sure, she’s no virgin. But, that ain’t a sin.
She’s still got the box that her cherry came in!
ETA - I’m writing these down. There’s some good ones I’ve never heard. Good thread.
“Up yours.”
OOh another one. Slightly cheesy, but:
There’s good ships and bad ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships are friendships,
so here’s to you and me.
“To Texas!”
Oh! I just remembered a good one. Sorry for the multiple post.
“May your coffin be made of the finest wood of a 100-year-old tree that I’ll go plant tomorrow.”
And yet another variation. Seems to be a popular theme. Oddly enough this was also a rugby thing.
Here’s to the bee that got the bull a’buckin
Here’s to Adam and Eve who got the whole world fuckin
Here’s to you, Here’s to me,
The best of friends may we always be,
But if you should ever fuck me,
Well fuck you! Here’s to me.
My favorite:
here’s to the breeze(ez)
that flow through the trees(ez)
and gives us a glimpse
of that which
teases
squeezes
pleases
and gives us all venereal diseases…
by jesus
[QUOTE=Jackknifed Juggernaut]
Not sure of the source, but I know it’s given as a toast in the film Master and Commander: The Far Side Of The World and, like so many lines in that movie, I’m pretty sure it was taken from one of O’Brian’s books, though I don’t know which one.
ETA: And I suspect O’Brian didn’t make it up; he was great on authentic turn-of-the-19th-century British Navy detail, so I’m guessing it’s a toast from at least that time.
The variation I learned:
Here’s to the breezes
That blow through the treezes
And lift girls’ skirts
Above their kneezes
And reveal the spot
That pleases
Teases
Spreads diseases
And smells…
<snifffffffff>
Oh, Jesus.
“Here’s to those we love the best… Our noble selves.
There’s none better, and many a damn sight worse.”
I also remember vaguely some rather rambling toasts given by Orangemen relatives at various family events in the past, but they tend to have less than 100% savory contents.
Sam Stone beat me to Quint’s quote, so here’s
Justice for the brave,
Justice for the free.
Let each man be paid in full,
That’s just enough for me.
Here’s a real downer of one, from an old country song:
Here’s to all the soldiers
Who have ever died in vain
The insane locked within themselves
The homeless down on Main
To those who stand on empty shores
And spit against the wind
And those who wait forever
For ships that don’t come in.
Reminds me of
*Here’s to the Welsh
who pray on their knees
(and their neighbors)
Here’s to the Scots
who keep the Sabbath
(and any other damned thing they can get their hands on)
Here’s to the Irish
who’ll fight to the death to defend their beliefs
(even though they don’t know what the hell they believe)
And lastly to the English
a race of self-made man
(thereby acquitting God of blame for them)
Salute!*
Also, Sheridan’s toast from SCHOOL FOR SCANDAL (available in midi)
*Here’s to the maiden of bashful fifteen
Here’s to the widow of fifty
Here’s to the flaunting extravagent queen
And here’s to the housewife that’s thrifty.
Chorus
Let the toast pass, drink to the lass
I warrant she’ll prove an excuse for the glass
Let the toast pass, drink to the lass
I warrant she’ll prove an excuse for the glass.
Here’s to the charmer whose dimples we prize
Now to the maid who has none
Here’s to the girl with a pair of blue eyes
And here’s to the nymph with but one, Sir.
Chorus
Here’s to the maid with a bosom of snow
Now to her that’s as brown as a berry
Here’s to the wife with a face full of woe
And here’s to the damsel that’s merry.
Chorus*
And for most of the Dope (including myself) I propose this one:
Through the lips
and over the gums
look out stomach
Bush fcking sucks!*
A cool toasting custom I always liked was when Scots used to propose a toast “To the King!” in mixed company, and then pass their wine glass over their water goblet, a reference to the King over the Water without saying so.
The one I heard was, “To bloody battles and sickly summers!”