Favorite unusual "toasts"?

…and that’s “toast” as in “three cheers,” not “singed bread.”

They can be from real life, they can be from fiction, or they can be something you made up on the spot.

My personal “favorites” are…

•From “Star Trek VI”

•From “The Simpsons”

And an “honorable mention” to Janis Ian’s “Tea and Sympathy”…

So…any other “favorites” out there? Anything that would have an “interesting” (Positive or negative) reaction if I used it at Thanksgiving, or a Wedding?

(I think I like Mendoza’s toast the best. :wink: )

Confusion to the French!

One of my mates has been known to use this as part of his Best Man repertoire. He has been a Best Man about 6 times now, so we generally all know what’s coming! The first time, though it was highly amusing.

“To absent friends…”


“Fuck 'em all for not coming”

Good one curly, maybe not a good choice for a wake though.

for those who haven’t heard it, let’s make a toast to SPACE:
"When God created Man,
He made him out of string.
He had a bit left over,
So he made a little THING!

When God created Woman,
He made her out of lace.
He didn’t have enough,
So he left a little SPACE…

Here’s to SPACE!!"
don’t know where this originally came from…

That’s like the Toy Story toast my uncle used at his dad’s funeral:
To infinity…and beyond!

Here’s to you, here’s to me
May we never Disagree
But if we do
fuck you
and here’s to me.

hee hee hee

For the Girls’ Night Out:

Here’s to the men we love.
Here’s to the men who love us.
If the men we love
Don’t love us,
Then fuck the men and here’s to us!

I like:

“To our wives and our girlfriends… May they never meet!”


“Here’s looking up your old address!”

“Here’s to champagne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends.”

This is my personal favorite as well, although I use it as follows:

Here’s to you, here’s to me
The best of friends we’ll ever be
But if we should ever disagree
Well then…fuck you, here’s to me.

A couple I remember using were from:
Eddie LeBeck (Carla’s goalie husband in Cheers) - “Well…you know.”

and Mickey Rourke in Barfly - “To all my friends”

They make better sense if you seen the shows.

Here’s the one that I use on New Years Eve:

Here’s to our new friends,
And to our old friends,
And to those who have gone before.

My dad used a similar toast when I was little, and after he passed away, it seemed to fit even better.

I’ve always liked, “Here’s to the land we love and the love we land!”

From P.J. O’Rourke:

“Here’s to _____, a helluva pal,
Every gal’s guy and every guy’s gal,
He’s a brick; he’s a topper; he can sing, he can dance,
And he frightens the horses when he lowers his pants.”

Here’s to the maiden of bashful fifteen,
Here’s to the widow of fifty;
Here’s to the flaunting, extravagant queen,
And here’s to the housewife that’s thrifty.

Let the toast pass –
Drink to the lass,
I warrant she’ll prove an excuse for the glass.

– Richard Brinsley Sheridan

Here’s tae us
Wha’s like us
(longer version:-
Here’s tae us
Wha’s like us
Damn few,
And they’re a’ deid
Mair’s the pity!)

May the best of your past be the worst of your future.

Damn, RobertP ya beat me to it! :slight_smile:

May the road always rise up to meet you,

May the wind always be at your back,

And may you be a half hour in heaven,

before the devil knows you’re dead!

(best delivered with an Irish accent)