Anyone have awesome wedding toasts they want to share? The wedding is coming up and I have nothing.
Here’s one that always seems to win the bride over and may even get her a little giddy:
Here’s to good old whisky,
So amber-like and clear,
It’s not so sweet as a woman’s lips
But a damned sight more sincere.
Plan for a quick exit.
To the Bride’s vagina. Long may it wave.
A favourite of my Dad:
May the best you’ve ever seen
Be the worst you’ll ever see;
May the moose ne’er leave your girnal
Wi’ a teardrop in its e’e!
May your lum keep blithely reekin’
Till you’re auld enough to dee;
May you aye be just as happy
As I wish you aye to be!
(Requires Scot’s accent) 
As the brother of the bride, I was expected to give a toast. But everyone knew I didn’t want to do it, so they all told me “You don’t have to say much.”
So when the time came, I just held up a piece of toast. And when the chuckling wound down, said “Congratulations!”
I was the Best Man at the first wedding I had ever attended. I sincerely offered to take wedding pictures and didn’t understand why everyone laughed at the suggestion. When the time came to give a speech, I hadn’t known I was under such an obligation and I had nothing prepared. So, waving my hands dramatically, I said to all the friends and family around…
To Rob and Renee
We’ve spent many years watching them grow together
And we’ll spend many more years watching them ***grow ***together.
–G!
And a woman needs a man
like a fish needs a bicycle
. --U2
. Tryin’ to Throw Your Arms Around The World
. Achtung Baby
I’ve always been partial to this one-
**
“Here’s to those who wish them well/
And all the rest can go to Hell!”**
A friend of mine went to a wedding where the best man started of his toast with “Fornication!” which made everyone freeze and go :eek: but then he went to say “Fornication such as this . . .”
You need a Nor’n Irish accent to make it sound right.