Drinking toasts

In My Humble Opinion
1

Rather than sullenly sucking on my drink, I’ve always enjoyed making toasts. Nothing pompous or forced, like the best man at the wedding reception’s jackass valedictions, but just something short and sweet to sprinkle a sense of community on the task of gettin’ loaded. I feel it’s almost required of the situation, as much as is saying something more profound than “ahem” during lovemaking, or taking a bong hit and coughing out a Tommy Chong-sim.

One of my favorites is from Steinbeck’s “Cannery Row:” “Over the river, boys.” If with fellow lapsed Catholics, “The Blood of Christ” is always good if it’s unexpected, but, like “Da Bearz.” can quickly become tiresome.

I remember reading that England’s King William of “William and Mary” was planning an invasion of Scotland but died after his horse tripped on a molehill. Thereafter the Scots would toast to “the little gentleman in velvet.” That would be an obscure toast in a lot of settings - but try it and see if any closet Jacobite is present and puts a glass of water on the table for Bonnie Prince Charlie.

What are some other good, simple toasts?

2

Didn’t Andie McDowell’s character in Groundhog Day say you should always drink to world peace?

I don’t have any, since I’ve never had to make a toast.

3

one of my favorites was learned from a Marine,

To Honour; to getting honour, and to staying honour;

Another one is fun to say really fast to confuse people.

Here’s to it, and through it, and to again, and if you get to it and refuse to do it, here’s hopin’ you get to it to do it again.

4

For the gang:

Lift 'em high
and drain 'em dry.
To the guy who says
this round, I’ll buy…
For your lover:

Here’s to the trees and flowers in bloom.
You in my arms and I in your room.
A bird and a bottle and a bed badly tossed.
A door that is locked and a key that is lost.
And a night that’s a thousand years long.

5

“L’chaim!” (To life!)

Hey, what else is there?

6

From my days in the Infantry:
“To our wives and lovers!”
The response from those in the know:
“May they never meet!”

A friend of mine who watches too many cartoons, or Austin Powers, or something always says:
“Gentlemen, to evil!”

Finally, something a little more elegant:
“To warm winds and fair seas”

7

“To us, and those like us.
Damn few left!”

8

My college drinking friends and I must have tired out the “Blood of Christ” toast, because one of the Jewish people in the peer group once preempted that toast with “Next year in Israel!”

9

“Erin Go Braugh”

The response is often “or braless”

One evening on the island of Yap (real place) in O’Keef’s Oasis Club (really just a lagoon-side dive, but great name, huh?) three of us went through as many toasts as we could as we drank shots of our national alcoholic beverages.

I don’t recomend this. I woke up on a tramp freighter with two women of very questionable morals, and it took me almost a month to get back to Yap. My editor was very angry.

“To absent friends…”

We used to say this towards an empty chair when we lost a collegue. But I’m getting maudlin…How about,

In the mouth,
and past the gums,
watch out stomach,
here it comes.

Salute

10

Here’s to you, and here’s to me.
Friends through life may we always be.
But if we should ever disagree,
Then to hell with you, and here’s to me.

11

cliff clavin used to say ‘here’s looking up yer address.’
gets me every time.

i got this one from a 50’s men’s magazine.
‘here’s to yer genitalia. may they never jail ya.’

12

Here’s to the breeze
That blows through the trees
That lifts the skirt
Above the knees.

Here’s to the spot
That is so hot…

[sub]I can’t remember the last two lines[/sub] :frowning:

I want to say it’s something like:
Here’s to snatch,
Down the hatch!

But that really doesn’t sound right to me…any ideas?

13

An old rugby toast I’ve gotten a lot of miles out of.

Here’s to the girls we love the best
We love them best when they’re undressed
We’ll fck 'em sitting, fck em lying,
fck 'em dead, and fck 'em dying
And when they’re dead and long forgotten,
We’ll dig 'em up and f*ck 'em rotten!

14

Irish Toasts

The Irish are good at this sort of thing :slight_smile:

15

"Here’s to the girl
with the skirt made of grass.
Standing in the sea,
Waves up to her ankles…

If it doesn’t rhyme now,
It will when the tide comes in."

I remember that from the movie “Jaws”. Quint, the lovable, acidic shark hunter extraordinaire used it!

16

“To the sins of Pleasure, and the pleasures of Sin!”

17

There’s also the old chestnut:

“Here’s to real pain for our sham friends,
and champagne for our real friends”

18

My grandfather’s favorite Irish toast:

“May you be halfway to Heaven before the Devil knows you’re dead.”

His favorite Catholic toast when he had a nip of Jack Daniels:

“All you sinners REPENT”

My favorite toast from In Living Color:

“Good bread, good meat, good God let’s eat.”

19

I always liked this one from the movie True Colors:

We may not always get what we want,
We may not always get what we need,
Just as long as we don’t get what we deserve!

20

I kinda like:

“Gentlemen… to evil!”

Forgot where I heard it. :frowning: The Simpsons?