Rant (though it may well be mind-numbingly stupid)

[MFS]

Welcome to my rant.

Be forwarned that in such a rant, I may become quite incoherent, even flat-out stupid.

But, damnit, its my rant, so I really could care less.

ahem…
Is my title “lab monkey”??? Did I somehow get accepted to gradschool and not know it? Am I now an hourly technician? What the fuck, then, is the deal?

Gee, I thought I was a professional? I’ve been harped at and bitched at for no damn good reason in the past about it. But yet, when I get treated like I’m your motherfucking lackey, as if I’m at your damned beck-and-call, you act as if I’m supposed to take it up my ass and like it.

Ask me if I’m going to get my PhD one more fucking time and I swear to God I will rip out your throat.

I would swear that my title is development chemist, is it not? Then why, pray tell, am I running a constant barrage of moronic, nearly pointless lab experiments that any fucking bench-jockey could do? I would swear that when I entered the development group that I was being brought in for my insight, my creativity, and my knowledge… so why the fuck am I running mindless experiments that I could train a fucking spider monkey to perform?

I am not the company’s fucking dumping ground. You want that, hire a fucking technician. I could care fucking less that you’ve been at it for 20 years… I’ve been at it for 6 now, which is considerably longer than most of my co-workers. And yet, I am continually treated as if I’m some idiot that cannot think for himself. I am treated as if I am here to run any old experiment that you fuckers come up with, no matter how fruitless I tell you it will be - and speaking of which, how often have I been wrong? Yeah, that’s what I fucking thought.

Buncha shitheads.

If I am not allowed the opportunity to actually use my brain at work, I’m going to fucking explode and say “screw you guys, I’m going home”… and then you’ll be up shit creek, and wouldn’t that be damned funny.

And so ends this freeflow bit of lunacy from the bowels of my dark and twisted world.

enjoy.

[Demise]

Yeah! Fuck those guys!

[MFS]

*Originally posted by Demise *
**Yeah! Fuck those guys! **

umm… not litterally, that’s for sure.

[iampunha]

*Originally posted by MFS *
**

*Originally posted by Demise *
**Yeah! Fuck those guys! **

umm… not litterally, that’s for sure. **

Yeah . . . they might want to try some new position that MFS just KNEW wouldn’t work, but he’d have to bear with them anyway . . . it could be quite painful.

[MFS]

*Originally posted by iampunha *
**

*Originally posted by MFS *
**

*Originally posted by Demise *
**Yeah! Fuck those guys! **

umm… not litterally, that’s for sure. **

Yeah . . . they might want to try some new position that MFS just KNEW wouldn’t work, but he’d have to bear with them anyway . . . it could be quite painful. **

umm… no.

if’n you wuz tryin’ to poke some fun at me bein’ a bit pompous, well, it might stem from the fact that, well, I’m a chemist, and the person being bitched about in said rant is, well, not a chemist.

[iampunha]

*Originally posted by MFS *
umm… no.

if’n you wuz tryin’ to poke some fun at me bein’ a bit pompous, well, it might stem from the fact that, well, I’m a chemist, and the person being bitched about in said rant is, well, not a chemist.

umm… no.

what’n I was doin’ was carrying on your thread in the spirit of the OP . . . I.E. they ask you to do experiments you know won’t work, and you have to do them anyway. Took that and applied it to sex.

But I’m quite fascinated by the idea that your pomposity stems from your field of study and vocation. Of all the chemists I’ve known, you’re the only pompous one.

[Feynn]

MFS - I take it that when you DO lose it we won’t have to worry about you climbing a clock tower with a high powered rifle.

I can however, visualize you down in the lab concocting substances that will cause terror on an unimaginable scale.

Like glue that makes things fly apart violently. Or shoe polish that causes said shoes to spontaneously combust. Or hairspray that makes people’s hair fall permanently flat.

I’m scaring myself here, you could fuck with the world’s ink supply and make my pens dispense noxious fart like fumes.

Take a deep breath man… we’re your friends here.

Please don’t hurt us.

[Blackclaw]

*Originally posted by Feynn *
**MFS - I take it that when you DO lose it we won’t have to worry about you climbing a clock tower with a high powered rifle.

I can however, visualize you down in the lab concocting substances that will cause terror on an unimaginable scale.

Like glue that makes things fly apart violently. Or shoe polish that causes said shoes to spontaneously combust. Or hairspray that makes people’s hair fall permanently flat.

I’m scaring myself here, you could fuck with the world’s ink supply and make my pens dispense noxious fart like fumes.

Take a deep breath man… we’re your friends here.

Please don’t hurt us. **

Wow. You’ve figured him out.

MFS is indeed completely nuts. He’s a loon. He’s bark sparking, several eggs of of a full carton, not a full six pack, train has left the boarding station of rational thought, go crazy? don’t mind if I do! wouldn’t the world be a better place if the mental inmates ran it insane. Indeed among our group of friends his insanity is really only rivaled by Phil, the mad programmer, and well… myself. But the voices in my head tell me I’m getting better!

And yet MFS is bright enough to understand chemicals very well. He really is a perfect candidate for “mad scientist” of the year. Fortunately for us his insanity is nonviolent. But I suspect you will regret giving him the noxious fart pen idea. That’s right up his alley.

[Venoma]

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=88533&pagenumber=1

I’m sure they would be happy to make use of your many skills.
MuahahahahahahhahahahahHAhHAAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHHHHHHH.

[Abe_Babe]

originally by MFS
Is my title “lab monkey”???

so why the fuck am I running mindless experiments that I could train a fucking spider monkey to perform?

Awww! But you look so cute in that little hat and vest they give you. (insert smilie here)

[dropzone]

You know, I bet this problem would go away if you had your PhD.

[MFS]

*Originally posted by dropzone *
**You know, I bet this problem would go away if you had your PhD. **

damn damn damn damn… now I have to kill you.

PhD’ing would probably kill me. Bad timing. I’ve probably got enough research done… its just the classes that would suck my will to live.

[MFS]

*Originally posted by Abe Babe *
**Awww! But you look so cute in that little hat and vest they give you. (insert smilie here) **

but then they throw those damn peanuts at me and make me do that stupid dance…

[Blackclaw]

*Originally posted by MFS *
**

*Originally posted by Abe Babe *
**Awww! But you look so cute in that little hat and vest they give you. (insert smilie here) **

but then they throw those damn peanuts at me and make me do that stupid dance… **

But it’s sooooo cute!

Okay, okay, I’ll talk to them about it.

If we let you back into quality assurance do you promise to stop gargling the chemical compounds?

[MFS]

*Originally posted by Blackclaw *
**

*Originally posted by MFS *
**

*Originally posted by Abe Babe *
**Awww! But you look so cute in that little hat and vest they give you. (insert smilie here) **

but then they throw those damn peanuts at me and make me do that stupid dance… **

But it’s sooooo cute!

Okay, okay, I’ll talk to them about it.

If we let you back into quality assurance do you promise to stop gargling the chemical compounds? **

umm… I was never in QA, nor would I ever want to be in QA… buncha lame-o paper-pushers… eeeew. I wish there was a hunting season for QA people…

[Blackclaw]

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by MFS *
**

umm… I was never in QA, nor would I ever want to be in QA… buncha lame-o paper-pushers… eeeew. I wish there was a hunting season for QA people… **

See I was really just trying to imply you were a habitual chemcical compound gargler…

[MFS]

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Blackclaw *
**

*Originally posted by MFS *
**

umm… I was never in QA, nor would I ever want to be in QA… buncha lame-o paper-pushers… eeeew. I wish there was a hunting season for QA people… **

See I was really just trying to imply you were a habitual chemcical compound gargler… **

gargling things like methylene chloride, ethyl acetate, acetonitrile, and glacial acetic acid is just not all that appealing.

[ninja_rydr]

Either stand up for yourself or stop bitching. You have been there 6 years, you are NOT the F.N.G (fucking new guy). You also said that this guy is not a chemist, I don’t know but maybe he needs your experince. Next time it happens let him know you are busy but you could maybe assist him (read, Not Do It For Them!). Just a couple of ideas.

P.S. Last second thought, sabotage your co-worker by doing the experiment wrong or put it on the back burner until it is to late. When he comes back on you throw it back at him.

[Ethilrist]

*Originally posted by MFS *

but then they throw those damn peanuts at me and make me do that stupid dance… **

… but then again, it’s like, “Hey! Free peanuts!”

[MFS]

*Originally posted by ninja_rydr *
**Either stand up for yourself or stop bitching. You have been there 6 years, you are NOT the F.N.G (fucking new guy). You also said that this guy is not a chemist, I don’t know but maybe he needs your experince. Next time it happens let him know you are busy but you could maybe assist him (read, Not Do It For Them!). Just a couple of ideas.

P.S. Last second thought, sabotage your co-worker by doing the experiment wrong or put it on the back burner until it is to late. When he comes back on you throw it back at him. **

well, that’s a nice suggestion and all except that I would get fired.

I should point out that technically, I report to this person…